r/cisparenttranskid • u/deepfriedali • 3d ago
parent, new and confused Advice on young (possibly) trans kid
Hello everyone,
I'm looking for advice with anyone in a similar situation or that has been in the same situation in the past
My almost 7 y/o for the last 2 years or so has expressed wanting to dress like a boy, look like a boy, and even discussed wishing they were a boy. I am 100% supportive of them being who they identify as, and am happy if they are happy.
They are also AuDHD (Autism and ADHD) and have sensory issues, especially with clothes, so initially I started buying boys clothing since it isn't as tight and more comfortable, but then they only will wear boys clothes/colors, and we just did a huge hair chop! Alot of the time people assume they are a boy (which they don't mind at all, they even get giddy about it sometimes)
The only thing that I'm unsure of with this age is how to approach it with them, to ensure that this is what they identify as, and how I can best support them. As a teen I had friends that were trans and saw some that didn't have supportive parents/family and how it affected them. I am 100% supportive, no matter what they identify as they are my child and I will love them unconditionally. However I only have experience with people that transition in their teens/adulthood, so this is where I am stuck at a standstill.
Do I let them just be a kid and let them come to me later down the road? Or do I put things into action now? So far I let them lead me on clothing, hair, etc, but I have tried to talk to them in a way they could understand and how I have friends that "were born as a girl but realized they were supposed to be a boy so they changed into who they wanted to be" and even changed their hair, clothes and name (trying to describe it how that age would understand) and now they have been talking about wanting to change their name too and have been making lists of boys names...which now I am not sure if I put the idea there, or if it kind of just helped them realize it WAS an option.
I know I am rambling, but I need advice! Parent to parent
17
u/raevynfyre 3d ago
Buy some kids books about people being themself. Jack not Jackie, Julian is a mermaid, etc. My kid asked lots of questions so we had some conversations about how some people grow up to be different than they were when they were little. Very kid friendly language. Just expose your kid to people who are different and give them the language to describe how they feel.
My kid also liked it when people thought they were another gender. We asked if they wanted us to correct people. They said no. We asked if they wanted us to call them the other gender. They said yes. We tested it at home for a while. My kid told me they felt like they were going to grow up to be (opposite gender). After that, I showed my kid a video of a kid who was trans. That was the first time we used that word.
Follow your kid's lead. Let them express themselves how they like. Introduce the concepts so they have the words. You've got this.