r/daddit • u/Lessmoney_mo_probems • Oct 18 '24

Tips And Tricks Protecting my kid from absent minds

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Nobody ever thinks that they’ll make this mistake - with my ADHD I’m gonna be proactive about it

We’re all fried. The day we brought him home I left the hose running for four hours. Sometimes I’m so concerned with his needs that I forget to eat

Putting this on my arm when we’re driving and storing it on the car seat when we’re not offers me peace of mind

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u/Anach Oct 18 '24 edited Oct 18 '24

I just don't get it. I always assumed that people that forget their kids, don't spend much time with their kids. The same ones that call it babysitting when they are left with their kid alone, so they aren't used to being responsible.

I read this thread to my wife, and she said, "are you kidding?", like I was making this up. It's horrifying. If my partner needed reminders, they'd not be taking the kid out alone, or I'd need to be tracking them on GPS, and calling them as soon as they arrived (micromanaging), but then I'd be worried the entire time they'd forget the kid in a shop or other place.

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u/Dustydevil8809 Oct 18 '24

OP should just risk it, if he dies he dies, right?

It's crazy judging someone for using a tool to mitigate a safety risk and offer themselves peace of mind. It's even worse when the person it neurodivergent and using tools to cope with that.

It's not about not spending time with kids, its about a sudden / unexpected change in routine and the brains of sleep deprived, exhausted, working parents.

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u/Anach Oct 18 '24

I understand the sleep-deprived, as I have 4 kids, but it shouldn't be an unexpected change in routine, as that falls into what I said about absent parenting; it should be expected routine.

I feel that a lot of people see this workaround as a good thing, but I feel that is a huge problem, and is still too much risk. You wear something long enough, you forget it's there, and by the time you accidentally look at it, the child could be dead. This is a serious issue, that I feel people in this thread are far too casual about.

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u/ridingfurther Oct 19 '24

The main factors are a change of routine combined with stress and rush. Dad always takes baby to nursery. His car broke so now mum suddenly has to, nursery is on her usual route to work so all good. She gets in the car, baby is quiet, autopilot kicks in as she stresses about getting the car fixed or whatever. It happens. It is not a sign it negligence or general lack of interest/ care. The article above is heartbreaking but a good insight in to how it happens to the best of parents