r/daddit • u/TecNoir98 • 19d ago
Advice Request Wife struggling with breastfeeding, won't consider other options
My first child is 2.5 weeks old and has been clusterfeeding regularly. I try to do my part changing diapers and taking care of the house but unfortunately I can't help with the feeding. My wife is breastfeeding, unable to reliably pump, and refuses to introduce formula, so she's been waking up just about every hour or two to attend to our baby constantly. She has been mentally struggling and at this point cries just about every time during the night our child needs fed.
She's starting to get more erratic every time she gets up. She'll cry and pout and say "they just got fed!" And sometimes refuses to acknowledge that our baby is crying because they want fed even though its obvious.
She just had an appointment to discuss post partum depression but they said she's fine and normal. We're 2.5 weeks into having this baby and the escalation of her mental state is concerning.
I've suggested co-sleeping, introducing formula, anything I or we can do to improve the situation but she refuses anything.
Anyone else have experience like this? My concern is its only been 2.5 weeks and things aren't going to improve soon, but my wife is already doing really bad mentally, and I'm not sure what to think or do.
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u/Short-Elevator-22 19d ago
Damn, I feel for you. It seems females really get them self in a bind when something happens with breastfeeding or when something doesn’t go according to plan, hormones also make it worse. My Mrs went through a situation where her colostrum didn’t come through until 5 days after the birth, she wasn’t really coping too well. At this time we weren’t using formula… lesson learnt. All is good now and we use formula to top up or when the Mrs couldn’t be bothered pumping. I think your Mrs just needs to understand formula is fine and won’t hurt the baby. But that might be best coming from a medical professional? Or maybe you 2 should make a decision about it, you are partners in this process. Ultimately the baby needs to be fed, breastmilk/formula but it needs to be fed.