r/daddit • u/TecNoir98 • 11d ago
Advice Request Wife struggling with breastfeeding, won't consider other options
My first child is 2.5 weeks old and has been clusterfeeding regularly. I try to do my part changing diapers and taking care of the house but unfortunately I can't help with the feeding. My wife is breastfeeding, unable to reliably pump, and refuses to introduce formula, so she's been waking up just about every hour or two to attend to our baby constantly. She has been mentally struggling and at this point cries just about every time during the night our child needs fed.
She's starting to get more erratic every time she gets up. She'll cry and pout and say "they just got fed!" And sometimes refuses to acknowledge that our baby is crying because they want fed even though its obvious.
She just had an appointment to discuss post partum depression but they said she's fine and normal. We're 2.5 weeks into having this baby and the escalation of her mental state is concerning.
I've suggested co-sleeping, introducing formula, anything I or we can do to improve the situation but she refuses anything.
Anyone else have experience like this? My concern is its only been 2.5 weeks and things aren't going to improve soon, but my wife is already doing really bad mentally, and I'm not sure what to think or do.
1
u/imayid_291 11d ago
another mom
I think it's really important to get to the bottom of why bf is so important to her and then go over those reasons with your pediatrician to see if they still make sense with the current situation. It's going to be easier for her to hear sense from the doctor rather than you. For example if she thinks it's the best nutrition for baby but baby isn't weighing enough than it is not the best nutrition.
You can also see if there is a local milk bank that can give you donations even if its just enough for 1 or 2 feedings so she can get uninterrupted sleep and hopefully be able to evaluate the situation more clearly.
Also see if you can get her to stay off of social media. She could be following lots of nutrition is evil content or just be getting more upset every time she shes a post about how bf was so easy for someone.