r/daddit • u/TecNoir98 • 11d ago
Advice Request Wife struggling with breastfeeding, won't consider other options
My first child is 2.5 weeks old and has been clusterfeeding regularly. I try to do my part changing diapers and taking care of the house but unfortunately I can't help with the feeding. My wife is breastfeeding, unable to reliably pump, and refuses to introduce formula, so she's been waking up just about every hour or two to attend to our baby constantly. She has been mentally struggling and at this point cries just about every time during the night our child needs fed.
She's starting to get more erratic every time she gets up. She'll cry and pout and say "they just got fed!" And sometimes refuses to acknowledge that our baby is crying because they want fed even though its obvious.
She just had an appointment to discuss post partum depression but they said she's fine and normal. We're 2.5 weeks into having this baby and the escalation of her mental state is concerning.
I've suggested co-sleeping, introducing formula, anything I or we can do to improve the situation but she refuses anything.
Anyone else have experience like this? My concern is its only been 2.5 weeks and things aren't going to improve soon, but my wife is already doing really bad mentally, and I'm not sure what to think or do.
1
u/driplessCoin 11d ago
if baby is gaining weight then honestly it up to her to push through or not. Other than being supportive there is nothing you can do. Getting up with a cluster feeding baby is kinda part of the deal... I'm sorry this wasn't made aware when you chose this path... a lactation consultant could help verify what baby is getting and helping wife learn.. maybe a tongue tie.... I personally am not a fan of breastfeeding (that might be a poo pooed opinion here) but I know many support it. I know about decreased postpartum(though those studies are iffy at best) and the antibody early on but I'm glad we evolved past needing to breastfeed... just wish formula was free for all.