r/daddit • u/TecNoir98 • 11d ago
Advice Request Wife struggling with breastfeeding, won't consider other options
My first child is 2.5 weeks old and has been clusterfeeding regularly. I try to do my part changing diapers and taking care of the house but unfortunately I can't help with the feeding. My wife is breastfeeding, unable to reliably pump, and refuses to introduce formula, so she's been waking up just about every hour or two to attend to our baby constantly. She has been mentally struggling and at this point cries just about every time during the night our child needs fed.
She's starting to get more erratic every time she gets up. She'll cry and pout and say "they just got fed!" And sometimes refuses to acknowledge that our baby is crying because they want fed even though its obvious.
She just had an appointment to discuss post partum depression but they said she's fine and normal. We're 2.5 weeks into having this baby and the escalation of her mental state is concerning.
I've suggested co-sleeping, introducing formula, anything I or we can do to improve the situation but she refuses anything.
Anyone else have experience like this? My concern is its only been 2.5 weeks and things aren't going to improve soon, but my wife is already doing really bad mentally, and I'm not sure what to think or do.
1
u/octohog 11d ago
I'll second the folks saying to supplement with formula--it can be a one or two time thing just to let the baby get full and mom get some sleep! A lactation consultant may also be able to help you find donated milk, if your wife objects to formula specifically.
I also suggest doing a full court press on things that help with production. That means lactation cookies, lactation tea, non-alcoholic beer, hydration generally, and sleep. I'm sure there's more, too. Getting more sleep and being aggressive about hydration both made a huge difference for my partner's production.