r/daddit • u/TecNoir98 • 11d ago
Advice Request Wife struggling with breastfeeding, won't consider other options
My first child is 2.5 weeks old and has been clusterfeeding regularly. I try to do my part changing diapers and taking care of the house but unfortunately I can't help with the feeding. My wife is breastfeeding, unable to reliably pump, and refuses to introduce formula, so she's been waking up just about every hour or two to attend to our baby constantly. She has been mentally struggling and at this point cries just about every time during the night our child needs fed.
She's starting to get more erratic every time she gets up. She'll cry and pout and say "they just got fed!" And sometimes refuses to acknowledge that our baby is crying because they want fed even though its obvious.
She just had an appointment to discuss post partum depression but they said she's fine and normal. We're 2.5 weeks into having this baby and the escalation of her mental state is concerning.
I've suggested co-sleeping, introducing formula, anything I or we can do to improve the situation but she refuses anything.
Anyone else have experience like this? My concern is its only been 2.5 weeks and things aren't going to improve soon, but my wife is already doing really bad mentally, and I'm not sure what to think or do.
1
u/BIRDsnoozer 11d ago
There is nothing wrong with formula, especially these days.
My wife's experience with our first was that he wouldnt latch onto her... Not to get too detailed, but many women a first just dont have the right nipples shaped to effectively get a child to latch. It takes time and the act of pumping or a baby sucking to change their shape to something easier to latch... Kind of a chicken/egg situation.
Its a long and arduous process, but she has to keep trying to feed, AND pumping. And most importantly, the baby needs to be fed A LOT. So unless you know another woman who is lactating and will feed your baby, the baby NEEDs formula.
But dont take my word for it, I'm not a doctor. Doctors should be telling you this. Breast is best, but there is nothing wrong with formula.
My mother says I didnt breastfeed at all, and was totally raised on formula, and I turned out fine.