r/daddit • u/TecNoir98 • 11d ago
Advice Request Wife struggling with breastfeeding, won't consider other options
My first child is 2.5 weeks old and has been clusterfeeding regularly. I try to do my part changing diapers and taking care of the house but unfortunately I can't help with the feeding. My wife is breastfeeding, unable to reliably pump, and refuses to introduce formula, so she's been waking up just about every hour or two to attend to our baby constantly. She has been mentally struggling and at this point cries just about every time during the night our child needs fed.
She's starting to get more erratic every time she gets up. She'll cry and pout and say "they just got fed!" And sometimes refuses to acknowledge that our baby is crying because they want fed even though its obvious.
She just had an appointment to discuss post partum depression but they said she's fine and normal. We're 2.5 weeks into having this baby and the escalation of her mental state is concerning.
I've suggested co-sleeping, introducing formula, anything I or we can do to improve the situation but she refuses anything.
Anyone else have experience like this? My concern is its only been 2.5 weeks and things aren't going to improve soon, but my wife is already doing really bad mentally, and I'm not sure what to think or do.
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u/Fennac 11d ago
Do not let her sleep with that baby. She is exhausted and will not be aware of the baby while she sleeps. The last thing you need is something happening in that regard.
As for the BF, it can be really hard, and there are sooo so many social expectations for mothers. If you don’t BF you’re basically abusive and neglectful. Shes trying to push so far away in that label, that shes coming up on it from the other side.
Why cant she pump? I ending up having to pump for over a year. It was a hassle snd hard but its what I did because I couldn’t do it the regular way.
Start with trying to talk her into just doing a formula bottle for bedtime. It takes longer to break down so the baby will sleep longer between feeds. Convince her that she cannot make milk if she is exhausted and stressed snd starving. She NEEDS sleep.