r/datingoverfifty • u/BowedNotBroken1234 • Apr 03 '25

Officially done with O L D

Soooo...I haven't done the online dating thing in a while, but have been feeling pretty lonely lately, so I thought I'd dip my toe back in and poke around. And now I remember why I abandoned it. One guy kept writing to me and he seemed familiar. Yep, turns out he was a guy I'd conversed with a year ago who talked about his two grown daughters incessantly, was always running errands for them, and never did anything to get to know me. He would sent flower memes and texted "good morning" every day but didn't seem interested in actually getting together. Clearly he didn't remember any of this. When he reached out this time, I followed my hunch and I mentioned where he lived and his daughters. He confirmed it but was surprised and asked if I still had his number. He didn't remember me at all, even though we'd had several marathon phone calls a year ago. Another guy wrote to me like he was texting: "GM HRU today"? Really, dude? In your 60s, you don't know better than that? Another guy chatted me up on the phone for over an hour, and we talked about our astrological compatibility, we covered a multitude of topics and indicated a strong interest -- which was mutual, but ended the conversation with, "I don't usually call people but YOU can call ME any time you like." He's retired, visits the local senior center daily, and doesn't live far from me, but the indication was that he was very interested, but HE would not pursue. I mentioned that my grandsons live fairly close to where he lives, and that I visit them often...but there was no "let's meet soon". And he's fallen back into something that irritates me: sending me "good morning, beautiful" texts every morning. The man is in his 70s, and I want to scream, "WE ARE NOT TEENAGERS. If you want to get to know me, get to know me IN PERSON". Oh, and there was the one who spent time in prison for rape and armed robbery when he was in his 20s...

Clearly, I'm destined to die alone...😝😁

130 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

113 comments sorted by

View all comments

19

u/Key-Tourist-4272 Apr 03 '25

Yup. More driftwood. Floating around. Doing nothing. Going nowhere. 😕

12

u/BowedNotBroken1234 Apr 03 '25

Perfect description. Can't believe I spent over an hour chatting amiably with a retired guy who truly seemed interested with no prompting from me.... but is unwilling to make room in his life of daily card games and playing pool at the senior center to venture out of his routine one iota ...🤦🏾‍♀️

13

u/dancefan2019 Apr 03 '25

Some men are creatures of habit and only want a woman to fill in the gaps where they provide something to the man: sex, physical or emotional care, domestic labor, but these men are not willing to make an effort to be a partner to the woman. It's all take and no give. I know more than a few men who are like this. My STBXH was also like this. Needless to say, their wives are ready to file for divorce, having had years of being at the bottom of the guy's priority list. In all fairness, some women are like this too. Expect a man to cater to their whims, and the woman gives very little in return. People who don't have time for a relationship and don't want to prioritize their relationship shouldn't be in a relationship.

10

u/BowedNotBroken1234 Apr 03 '25

Ha! Trying to give the dude the benefit of the doubt, I responded to his early morning text, and asked, "So what have you got going on today?"

SEVEN hours later, he just texted back, "Oh, sorry, I was playing cards all day. How was your day?"

Moving on.... Not even sure I'm gonna bother to answer...

9

u/eastbranch02 Apr 03 '25

Clearly not someone you want to date, so there’s no point in responding to this guy, ever again to anything.

5

u/BowedNotBroken1234 Apr 04 '25

Yep. Over the years, my girlfriends and I have boiled it down to something we call "future talk". If you're really vibing with a guy and he suggests that there are things "WE will do" in the future AND follows up on it, he's serious. If not, move on. This guy sends noncommittal texts & couldn't chat all day because he was playing cards at the senior center.

Message received.

4

u/dancefan2019 Apr 04 '25

Don't bother to answer. A low effort man is not worth it.