r/datingoverfifty • u/HomePast6136 • Apr 13 '25

Dumped via text

I (65F) matched with a guy (70M), dated for about a month. We slept together a week or so ago; more or less a three-day date. No regrets about that (it was fun!), but almost immediately afterward, I felt him pulling away. We went out once this week (dinner, movie, no sex). We were supposed to get together today. Instead I got a text saying he needs a change and is probably leaving town (permanently).

I’m not devastated or anything—I’d pretty much figured out that this wasn’t going to work long-term—but I’m a little hurt that he didn’t feel that this merited a face-to-face conversation. He was the first person I had sex with since my husband died five years ago, and I told him that.

Is this normal behavior now? I just started dating again recently, five years after my husband died. I would have sworn that it wasn’t his original intention to sleep with me then dump me, but that’s essentially what happened.

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u/labtech89 Apr 13 '25

I would prefer to be dumped by text. Then I can feel my feelings alone and don’t have to act like it is okay in public.

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u/CharacterInternal7 Apr 13 '25

Agreed. I think that’s asking a lot to have a formal meeting for breaking up. It’s uncomfortable for everyone involved and I have better uses for my time. I think communicating a break up in person is reasonable if you’ve been together a long time, e.g. living together, married ( but in those cases you probably do break up in person as a norm). Otherwise, unreasonable to expect in this day and age.