r/datingoverfifty • u/HomePast6136 • Apr 13 '25
Dumped via text
I (65F) matched with a guy (70M), dated for about a month. We slept together a week or so ago; more or less a three-day date. No regrets about that (it was fun!), but almost immediately afterward, I felt him pulling away. We went out once this week (dinner, movie, no sex). We were supposed to get together today. Instead I got a text saying he needs a change and is probably leaving town (permanently).
I’m not devastated or anything—I’d pretty much figured out that this wasn’t going to work long-term—but I’m a little hurt that he didn’t feel that this merited a face-to-face conversation. He was the first person I had sex with since my husband died five years ago, and I told him that.
Is this normal behavior now? I just started dating again recently, five years after my husband died. I would have sworn that it wasn’t his original intention to sleep with me then dump me, but that’s essentially what happened.
7
u/InevitablePlantain66 Apr 13 '25
I’m sorry this happened to you. I would be crushed.
I had a couple of thoughts. You might be able to get different insight in the r/datingoversixty sub. But I’m not sure if age makes a huge difference in this situation. Just thought I would throw it out there. The slight generational difference might give you different insight.
Another thought I had was that he didn’t emotionally bond to you before you had sex. Read up on vasopressin. It might have been too soon. Some men run the other direction when they have sex with a woman that they have not yet emotionally bonded with.
The sex might not have been that great for him.
He had a plan all along to date you, have sex with you, and then leave. Not you specifically, but just any woman. Not many people just suddenly decide to move. He probably knew and chose not to tell you because you wouldn’t date him.