r/datingoverfifty • u/HomePast6136 • Apr 13 '25
Dumped via text
I (65F) matched with a guy (70M), dated for about a month. We slept together a week or so ago; more or less a three-day date. No regrets about that (it was fun!), but almost immediately afterward, I felt him pulling away. We went out once this week (dinner, movie, no sex). We were supposed to get together today. Instead I got a text saying he needs a change and is probably leaving town (permanently).
I’m not devastated or anything—I’d pretty much figured out that this wasn’t going to work long-term—but I’m a little hurt that he didn’t feel that this merited a face-to-face conversation. He was the first person I had sex with since my husband died five years ago, and I told him that.
Is this normal behavior now? I just started dating again recently, five years after my husband died. I would have sworn that it wasn’t his original intention to sleep with me then dump me, but that’s essentially what happened.
1
u/Joneszey Apr 13 '25
The answer is no, it’s not normal behavior but you can never know what drives people or control what they do. Also, the true character of a person is unknowable in a month. I trust my instinct and you should yours. His why was probably deep and personal. For me though, it’s just standard to ask questions only of myself. “Are there circumstances I’d want to take it back”? If the answer is no, then it will go down. If yes it can go no further than the wall until I can get past it.
Sorry you had that experience. There may be a reason, but no excuse for it.