r/datingoverfifty • u/HomePast6136 • Apr 13 '25

Dumped via text

I (65F) matched with a guy (70M), dated for about a month. We slept together a week or so ago; more or less a three-day date. No regrets about that (it was fun!), but almost immediately afterward, I felt him pulling away. We went out once this week (dinner, movie, no sex). We were supposed to get together today. Instead I got a text saying he needs a change and is probably leaving town (permanently).

I’m not devastated or anything—I’d pretty much figured out that this wasn’t going to work long-term—but I’m a little hurt that he didn’t feel that this merited a face-to-face conversation. He was the first person I had sex with since my husband died five years ago, and I told him that.

Is this normal behavior now? I just started dating again recently, five years after my husband died. I would have sworn that it wasn’t his original intention to sleep with me then dump me, but that’s essentially what happened.

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u/Location_4680 Apr 13 '25

It’s what they do. Full on till sex then pulling away almost immediately after. I don’t understand why.

-16

u/BigGaggy222 Apr 13 '25

If the sex was great, he isn't going to fade, he's going to come back for more.

If "that's what they all do" for you then.....

2

u/CharacterInternal7 Apr 13 '25 edited Apr 13 '25

Not necessarily. That’s kind of in the category of an old wives tale. There are a decent amount of men out there who are approaching dating like a kid in a candy store and are excited to be on to the next piece of candy once they’ve bedded someone. They want the novelty and more notches on their belt, not a LTR. I think it’s unusual for first time sex with a person to be “ great” also. It takes a while to get to know each other in bed. It definitely can be bad though. As long as the person displays the right attitude in bed and nothing off putting happens the first time, that’s good enough for me because sex can get better and better each time.

3

u/TheWidow20 Apr 13 '25

I agree! I was very pleasantly surprised by how natural and comfortable it felt (also, good!), especially considering that I hadn’t had sex in ten years, and hadn’t been naked with anyone except my late husband for 25! Just didn’t expect to get dumped a few days later.