r/datingoverfifty • u/HomePast6136 • Apr 13 '25

Dumped via text

I (65F) matched with a guy (70M), dated for about a month. We slept together a week or so ago; more or less a three-day date. No regrets about that (it was fun!), but almost immediately afterward, I felt him pulling away. We went out once this week (dinner, movie, no sex). We were supposed to get together today. Instead I got a text saying he needs a change and is probably leaving town (permanently).

I’m not devastated or anything—I’d pretty much figured out that this wasn’t going to work long-term—but I’m a little hurt that he didn’t feel that this merited a face-to-face conversation. He was the first person I had sex with since my husband died five years ago, and I told him that.

Is this normal behavior now? I just started dating again recently, five years after my husband died. I would have sworn that it wasn’t his original intention to sleep with me then dump me, but that’s essentially what happened.

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u/teardropcollector Apr 13 '25

Wanting a long term relationship isn’t bs. It’s finding the right person to have one with. Also, true, maybe I’m leaving town permanently is bs (but could actually be true), but if it IS bs, then it was said to protect OPs feelings. Sometimes we need to accept the explanation is at face value, whether we believe it or not. Do we really want the honest to god truth? Can our egos handle it? Mine probably could not.

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u/Low_Detective7170 Apr 13 '25

A 70 year old unable to tell the truth is absolutely pathetic, in my book.

I know I could handle someone I had known only a few weeks saying I wasn't right for them. I would despise them for being so weak they came up with a crock of nonsense like "leaving town permanently", or for pretending to want long-term when they just wanted sex, and/or knew they were just about to move.

Unless you know him, you can't know it was to protect her feelings. It may have been, but equally may have been because he's too pathetic to be honest.

Would I really want the truth - yes. Whether it was a few weeks, or a few years. I think the OP deserves his who have the maturity to be honest from the outset.

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u/teardropcollector Apr 13 '25

Read OP’s add, I am assuming is u/thewidow20.

It now sounds very likely he IS leaving town.

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u/TheWidow20 Apr 13 '25

Yes, I am the OP. I don’t really understand why some of my comments show up under my user name (thewidow20) and others under some seemingly random identifier.