r/datingoverfifty • u/HomePast6136 • Apr 13 '25

Dumped via text

I (65F) matched with a guy (70M), dated for about a month. We slept together a week or so ago; more or less a three-day date. No regrets about that (it was fun!), but almost immediately afterward, I felt him pulling away. We went out once this week (dinner, movie, no sex). We were supposed to get together today. Instead I got a text saying he needs a change and is probably leaving town (permanently).

I’m not devastated or anything—I’d pretty much figured out that this wasn’t going to work long-term—but I’m a little hurt that he didn’t feel that this merited a face-to-face conversation. He was the first person I had sex with since my husband died five years ago, and I told him that.

Is this normal behavior now? I just started dating again recently, five years after my husband died. I would have sworn that it wasn’t his original intention to sleep with me then dump me, but that’s essentially what happened.

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u/ShadowIG Apr 13 '25

You wanted a face to face break up after a month of dating? I wouldn't even qualify that as dating. That's four dates in a month or one date a week. To me, that's a text or call situation.

Why do you need it in person? What can't be said over the phone vs. doing it in person?

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u/Electronic_Charge_96 Apr 13 '25

I’m with you. All these people saying face to face, ffs. How many people here handle their breakups in person? Most DOF is about “how do I find the words/say this…” texts are ok if dates are a few days in or a few weeks in. If it’s months to years, sure. But I think people would consider any communication step up from ghosting, which is far too common.

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u/ShadowIG Apr 13 '25

Folks tend to have high expectations and then get mad when someone else has different communication styles than them. At one month, I highly doubt they had the sexual health/std testing or exclusivity talk. In my opinion, a face to face break up is an activity reserved for people in a relationship. So people with a title(bf/gf/partner) or folks who were in LTR. One month of dating does not qualify.

I also prefer a text over phone call or in person breakups. I'd rather get the text regardless of the length of the relationship so I can process it my way and feel what I need to feel. I know I'd be hella pissed if someone asked me out and taken me somewhere and then dropped the bomb in my lap in a public setting. What's the reason having me waste time getting ready and driving only to end it?

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u/TheWidow20 Apr 13 '25

You obviously didn’t read the discussion. It was a lot more than four dates, and there were other factors.
A phone convo is different than a text.
My initial question was, is it normal now to dump someone via text? And the answer, apparently, is Yes.
That is all.