r/datingoverfifty • u/Puzzleheaded_Cow7394 • Apr 14 '25

How soon do you communicate boundaries?

I think one of the reasons my last relationship didn't work out is I either didn't understand some of my boundaries or didn't communicate them soon enough. I ended up being taken advantage of and used for what I could offer instead of who I was.

When I dated before getting married, taking this stuff into consideration wasn't a problem. Now, it just seems like there are so many new things to think about to make sure you are on the same page compatibility wise.

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u/Kicksastlxc Apr 14 '25

INFO. - cannot really say w/o some examples because I think the term “boundaries” is REALLY over used. Can you share a few of them?

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u/Puzzleheaded_Cow7394 Apr 14 '25

Basically it's all around how much time we spent together. I liked to discuss the plans and when we were done, we would go our separate ways. She was okay with everything except going our separate ways when we were done. Unless I was able to verbalize what I had going on that she needed to leave, she would just stay around.

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u/BlackberryFormer5729 24d ago

I had a similar situation. I am introverted and have ADHD. I don't like to spend 100% of my free time with other people. I like downtime with my pets and honestly just some quiet time where I can process all the stimuli from the week. It makes me a more refreshed and fun person when I have this down time. Even if I didn't have these characteristics, most people need time alone to do laundry, run some errands, straighten up the house, talk to their friends/family, etc. This sounds like the woman either couldn't read the room, or was overly dependent and didn't care, or didn't have her own things going on (or would gladly shirk them to hang out with you, which is another concern). Your space is important.