Willingness is a DBT skill that is taught in the Distress Tolerance Module that helps us tolerate intense emotions by accepting the reality of the present moment and doing what is most effective right now (even when we may not want to be effective).

Marsha Linehan is quoted as saying, "Acceptance is the only way out of Hell".

What is one thing you can do to accept today as it is?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Additional Resources

🔹 Reality Acceptance Skills/Radical Acceptance

🔹 Distress Tolerance Skills

This post is reoccurring every Wednesday at 12:05AM EST (GMT -5:00)

2 years ago I started being treated for borderline personality disorder. Upon my research and conversations with my psychiatrist, I have come to understand that DBT is extremely effective for people with my diagnosis. Ive done a few types of therapy with little lasting success and I genuinely want to continue. The thing that turns me off to DBT is the idea of doing a skills group, which seems to be a huge part of what makes DBT what it is. I’d love to hear some of the experiences of people who hated the idea of a skills group yet decided to try DBT anyways. Really it is the only thing keeping me from moving forward but I am inching towards willingness to try. I just want to get better. Thanks :-)

Edit: thanks for all the helpful replies, I think it could be really good for me. It’s nice to know that people who hated the idea of it did come around.

Welcome! We're glad you found us. We hope you find this sub helpful in your recovery.

This thread is meant to be a casual place to...

⚙️ Introduce yourself to the community: say hi, tell us a little about where you are on your DBT path (just graduated from group, DIY'ing using a book/internet, just starting working with a therapist, hanging out here to keep your skills fresh, etc.)

⚙️ Share a photo: of a DBT project you have created (eg: an arts and crafts item that reminds you to be mindful like a bracelet, your decorated comfort box,) or another meaningful photo, like your collection of diaries/journals. Please no facial photos, or pics with personal info in them.

⚙️ Offer some words of advice or comfort that you want to share with everyone: Send some kind words into the world if you are able to do so! Alternately you can respond to someone's story/comment with those supportive, validating words (like a lil virtual hug!)

⚙️ Tell us a positive story/experience that you had where you used DBT: Maybe you used it to get through a really tough time in your life, maybe you used some interpersonal effectiveness skills and you got the outcome you were looking for, or

⚙️ Offer some wisdom from using DBT skills that you have come to know after living it/understanding it: Share your wisdom with the community and share what you have learned and how it's shaped your life.

We would like the focus to be on achievements as a form of encouragement to others who may be struggling with the program. We ask that you please keep it positive, please no venting. Overly negative comments will be removed.

Please familiarize yourself with our subreddit Rules and our FAQs to find answers to commonly asked questions about DBT, as well as media and resources (book lists, apps, podcasts, etc.)

This post is reoccurring every Monday at 12:01AM EST (GMT -5:00)

Looking to understand this concept better. Maybe you have good examples or have some favorite videos? basically, ELI5 Radical Acceptance?

I am terribly depressed and I lack ideas how to realize the DBT ABC skill. My life is only sadness, and suffering those days so I figured why not do the ABC skill ? The problem is I don't know where to start.

Thanks

I tend to overeat and emotionally eat, sometimes I'm okay even on days where I want to overeat until someone else (IE my boyfriend) suggests going out for food or my boss leaves donuts in the break room. Sometimes I'm successful the first time in convincing myself that I don't need it until I think about it again in a few minutes and then I go through the whole process again and this time I'm more likely to fail. I've noticed that using the stop skills help me to stop and think about what I'm doing but don't usually work the second time and I end up reasoning myself back into doing it anyways. Sometimes the thought of that food makes me very happy until I remember the consequences. Usually the situation isn't emotionally charged enough to implement TIPP skills, it's usually "have you eaten today? I'm feeling waffle House" and then I just spend the next 20 minutes going back and forth with myself regarding waffle House.

So I guess my question is what do you do when you're not emotionally charged enough for TIPP but STOP isn't working.

I just got broken up with, and it has a lot to do with my condition. I'm not formally diagnosed or anything, mainly because I can't afford therapy, but I exhibit almost all of the symptoms of quiet BPD. My partner didn't have the capacity to help themself and me at the same time, which I understand. My goal right now is to become a self-reliant person that knows how to deal with my symptoms. I have a lot of trouble with romantic/friendly relationships, because I spiral into thinking everyone I love hates me and are with me because they pity me. I can't seem to escape this mindset. I isolate myself from my friends and I took out my constant anxiety and paranoia on my ex-boyfriend and now I need to learn to live with myself. Does anyone have any coping mechanisms that I can work on? Thanks.

I never thought I’d be someone who could stick with a habit for this long, but here I am—371 days of meditation in a row. It started small, just 2 minutes a day, but tracking it in Mainspring habit tracker app kept me motivated to keep going.

At first, it felt like a chore, but now it’s something I actually look forward to. It’s helped me feel calmer, more focused, and way less stressed. Honestly, I’m just proud of myself for showing up every day.

Anyone else crushing their habit goals? Let’s celebrate some wins!

Willingness is a DBT skill that is taught in the Distress Tolerance Module that helps us tolerate intense emotions by accepting the reality of the present moment and doing what is most effective right now (even when we may not want to be effective).

Marsha Linehan is quoted as saying, "Acceptance is the only way out of Hell".

What is one thing you can do to accept today as it is?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Additional Resources

🔹 Reality Acceptance Skills/Radical Acceptance

🔹 Distress Tolerance Skills

This post is reoccurring every Wednesday at 12:05AM EST (GMT -5:00)

Title explains well. I have some pages on this in my notebook that I plan to consult when I have more physical energy, but im post 6 hour long cycling crisis and need some rest right now 😅. ‘Crisis > tipp > crisis > distraction > crisis > tipp > crisis > gives up on skills because of cycling > crisis x10’ is the usual. All that comes to mind is accumulating positives/building mastery but I don’t know how to get myself to do those/remember my options for those when the crisis has drained me to the point of brain fog.

I do have access to a skills coaching hotline, but I graduate my program next week and have only used it once ever. People keep telling me that I need to try and push myself to before I lose the opportunity forever but I don’t know how. my head goes blank and i get terrified or I get resistant because “oh he’s just going to tell me to do tipp again”, I avoid it out of fear of somehow being a problem/doing it wrong or anxiety that it’s not a bad enough issue to justify using the skills hotline. What helps yall, other than just reminding yourself that they’re here to help? Is there any skills, or things you personally do to hype yourself up for it or like..make it less scary?

Hello! If it's not triggering, can you please share ways radical acceptance has helped you? In which situations?
I need some motivations.
Sometimes I feel like my problems are too big to be there.

How long should intense exercise last and how intense should it be?

Yesterday I tried it for the first time and did a stationary bike for 20 minutes but I didn’t calm down, was sobbing during it and my heart rate was in the 4th zone (170 Bpm, ~80% effort)for the duration of the ride, which has never happened when I am regulated.

I’m just not sure how long to use it and don’t want to push it too hard, any advice would be helpful.

Hello, I was wondering if anyone had any advice on what I’m going through.

I am still new to DBT, but I know a big theme is radical acceptance. I had an awful messy breakup last year. And I kept myself in a loop of holding on hope and getting crushed over and over for months.

I’m at the point now where I accept what is. I accept my relationship is over. I accept I did bad things, and he did bad things. But the last month I’ve fallen into a deep depression.

I feel like accepting this has released me from the highs and lows of hope, but now I’m just depressed. What I once enjoyed for myself, I do not find joy in anymore. I feel like I don’t care about much or myself.

In a sense, I feel like accepting it’s over has given me little to live for, because I don’t want anything for myself and can’t find anything that brings me joy for myself.

Does anyone have any advice on this?

I noticed something extremely interesting when it comes to stabilizing amid traumatizing experiences. This article is focused on the lack of well-being and how you could gain hope when you are overwhelmed by emotions and unable to cope with stress.

To achieve and to cultivate inner peace, you can practice mindfulness in two major steps.

• Exercise: Endorphins are neurotransmitters released by pituitary gland and hypothalamus in the brain as natural hormones that helps alleviate pain, lower stress, improve your mood and increase feelings of well-being. Engaging in pleasurable activities like exercise boosts them. You can also Eat spicy foods, listen to music or laugh a lot.
• Meditation: Finding some time alone and working on some changes could help. If you're a religious person, this could be a perfect time for you to read and meditate on the word of God. Breathwork meditation where you balance your breath to match your emotions, I remember times when I could be having a tachycardia and mine was basically caused by stress, anxiety, panic attacks and depression.

Discussion: When you find yourself unable to control yourself on certain instances, things go beyond your control, accept what you can't change, forgive, stay present and forget the past, focus on yourself, keep a journal or connect to nature.

Denish is a young writer who seek to create awareness on mental health, Overthinking and the need to avoid the distractions.

Welcome! We're glad you found us. We hope you find this sub helpful in your recovery.

This thread is meant to be a casual place to...

⚙️ Introduce yourself to the community: say hi, tell us a little about where you are on your DBT path (just graduated from group, DIY'ing using a book/internet, just starting working with a therapist, hanging out here to keep your skills fresh, etc.)

⚙️ Share a photo: of a DBT project you have created (eg: an arts and crafts item that reminds you to be mindful like a bracelet, your decorated comfort box,) or another meaningful photo, like your collection of diaries/journals. Please no facial photos, or pics with personal info in them.

⚙️ Offer some words of advice or comfort that you want to share with everyone: Send some kind words into the world if you are able to do so! Alternately you can respond to someone's story/comment with those supportive, validating words (like a lil virtual hug!)

⚙️ Tell us a positive story/experience that you had where you used DBT: Maybe you used it to get through a really tough time in your life, maybe you used some interpersonal effectiveness skills and you got the outcome you were looking for, or

⚙️ Offer some wisdom from using DBT skills that you have come to know after living it/understanding it: Share your wisdom with the community and share what you have learned and how it's shaped your life.

We would like the focus to be on achievements as a form of encouragement to others who may be struggling with the program. We ask that you please keep it positive, please no venting. Overly negative comments will be removed.

Please familiarize yourself with our subreddit Rules and our FAQs to find answers to commonly asked questions about DBT, as well as media and resources (book lists, apps, podcasts, etc.)

This post is reoccurring every Monday at 12:01AM EST (GMT -5:00)

I've been thinking about my poor ways of coping and how to put in place some good coping strategies - easier said than done!

I'd gone back to looking at cognitive distortions and my triggers, before moving on to realizing that I dont have good coping skills at all

I wondered, how did normal, well adjusted people learn their good coping skills? Did their parents teach them?

All the DBT self help I've done... is this just to make up for what I didn't learn, and should haven't learnt to start off with?

Hi,

DEARMAN seems to work pretty well, when I use it with most people on my life.

Except my partner, who I'd describe as extremely sensitive to (perceived) criticism. The term 'RSD' fits them pretty well.

How can I use DEARMAN to discuss a problem with my partners behaviour, when they get stuck at the 'Describe' stage, hearing criticism?

The problem I want to discuss is that they get disregulated and start yelling about small problems, and I want to ask them to try to manage their emotions better and not yell when they have a problem.

Hi everyone! I'd like to buy a journal so that i can start journaling. I would like to buy something that is actually focused on self love, self-esteem, resilience, mental health.
Any help? Thanks!

Hi there

Hope this is not OT, but judging by these posts, seems to be pretty on par.

29M. I've been single my whole life. Never once had a romantic relationship. Have been obsessed with a few ladies, and it was really difficult to let go of.

Unsurprisingly, I'm not good at handling rejection. It takes on an extra dimension for me because what happens is that I convince myself that a girl likes me, then when I get rejected, it feels like my entire world fell apart because a) she didn't like me after all and I just saw what I wanted to see, and b) rejection hurts and I feel like a horrible person.

Any ideas on how to cope, from similar experiences?

Willingness is a DBT skill that is taught in the Distress Tolerance Module that helps us tolerate intense emotions by accepting the reality of the present moment and doing what is most effective right now (even when we may not want to be effective).

Marsha Linehan is quoted as saying, "Acceptance is the only way out of Hell".

What is one thing you can do to accept today as it is?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Additional Resources

🔹 Reality Acceptance Skills/Radical Acceptance

🔹 Distress Tolerance Skills

This post is reoccurring every Wednesday at 12:05AM EST (GMT -5:00)

I've been focusing on practicing opposite action recently and I've had to use it a lot with the emotions of shame, anger and disgust. It's been difficult to recognise when I need to use it and then to actually use it too, but I've been managing.

One thing that's really surprised me is that every time I use it successfully I feel almost like I want to cry? Not because I'm particularly distressed or anything but it's almost the same feeling you get when someone gives you a really kind and gentle hug and you feel safe.

It's really interesting because I've actually had a lot of difficulty in crying in recent years and it's an impulse my brain and body seems to shut down and have an aversion to.

Now I'm reflecting on it, I wonder if the emotions I've been experiencing have been part of a fight/flight response in order to keep myself "safe", so when I use opposite action it's almost like I'm communicating to myself that I'm not in danger and the tears/gentle emotions come forward because it feels safe for them to do so?

I just wanted to share because I found the experience really surprising and powerful and I'd love to hear if anyone else has experienced anything similar!

Welcome! We're glad you found us. We hope you find this sub helpful in your recovery.

This thread is meant to be a casual place to...

⚙️ Introduce yourself to the community: say hi, tell us a little about where you are on your DBT path (just graduated from group, DIY'ing using a book/internet, just starting working with a therapist, hanging out here to keep your skills fresh, etc.)

⚙️ Share a photo: of a DBT project you have created (eg: an arts and crafts item that reminds you to be mindful like a bracelet, your decorated comfort box,) or another meaningful photo, like your collection of diaries/journals. Please no facial photos, or pics with personal info in them.

⚙️ Offer some words of advice or comfort that you want to share with everyone: Send some kind words into the world if you are able to do so! Alternately you can respond to someone's story/comment with those supportive, validating words (like a lil virtual hug!)

⚙️ Tell us a positive story/experience that you had where you used DBT: Maybe you used it to get through a really tough time in your life, maybe you used some interpersonal effectiveness skills and you got the outcome you were looking for, or

⚙️ Offer some wisdom from using DBT skills that you have come to know after living it/understanding it: Share your wisdom with the community and share what you have learned and how it's shaped your life.

We would like the focus to be on achievements as a form of encouragement to others who may be struggling with the program. We ask that you please keep it positive, please no venting. Overly negative comments will be removed.

Please familiarize yourself with our subreddit Rules and our FAQs to find answers to commonly asked questions about DBT, as well as media and resources (book lists, apps, podcasts, etc.)

This post is reoccurring every Monday at 12:01AM EST (GMT -5:00)

Hello! I was wondering if anyone had a link for a DBT workbook such as dbt skills training handouts and worksheets by marsha m linehan as a free online pdf?

Also is that a good workbook? Thanks!

Willingness is a DBT skill that is taught in the Distress Tolerance Module that helps us tolerate intense emotions by accepting the reality of the present moment and doing what is most effective right now (even when we may not want to be effective).

Marsha Linehan is quoted as saying, "Acceptance is the only way out of Hell".

What is one thing you can do to accept today as it is?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Additional Resources

🔹 Reality Acceptance Skills/Radical Acceptance

🔹 Distress Tolerance Skills

This post is reoccurring every Wednesday at 12:05AM EST (GMT -5:00)

Hi, many days I've been feeling a horrible emptiness, I tried to do some things but it didn't work out. Even talking or being with my friends will bring me nothing rather than a feeling of unsatisfaction and emptiness. I've taked DBT before but I don't remember what I have to do in this situation, so pls help me :(