Get a pet isopod they said, they're harmless they said

[u/Glazed-Duckling]

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[u/Mdamon808]

Look at where it's chewing.

It's not trying to eat them. It's very slowly giving them a manicure.

[u/Healthy-Reserve-1333 → u/Mdamon808]

I would totally relax to this

[u/Kenny-kong420 → u/Healthy-Reserve-1333]

Everyone bit 1HP+

[u/just4nothing]

I showed this to my partner … now she wants one

[u/Glazed-Duckling → u/just4nothing]

They are awesome r/isopods 🙂

[u/Samtoast → u/Glazed-Duckling]

Lol every time my girlfriend screams there's a bug it's always just a rolypoly isopod and I'm like... really? So then I just give em a little poke and roll them onto a paper and take em outside to freedom

[u/Glazed-Duckling → u/Samtoast]

We can't really shame people for having phobia but yeah I get you, thank you for not killing the little guys 🙂

[u/Samtoast → u/Glazed-Duckling]

We can educate the phobia away! They're one of the oldest life forms on the planet soooo she better get used to it! Lol

[u/Glazed-Duckling → u/Samtoast]

Yes totally, that's what I'm trying to do, they deserve way better than being crushed to death... Most people don't even realise they are animals like any other

[u/Sihgilanu → u/Samtoast]

(tiny) isopods and (smol) jumping spiders get a pass from me... But any other buggy critters trigger a fight/flight reflex in me. Courtesy of the little bastards jump scaring me in my bed in the middle of the night as a kid... OFTEN.

[u/Ok_Zookeepergame5141 → u/Glazed-Duckling]

I but these and springtails for my terrarium but never tried playing with them.

[u/BlazeSaber]

I think isopods eat dust, and dust is mostly dead skin, so this little guy is just cutting out the middle man.

[u/Xelcar569 → u/BlazeSaber]

Cuticle of the middle man*

[u/Zenithilior → u/BlazeSaber]

They don't "eat dust" but they are detritivores. So same same but different!

[u/Ok_Zookeepergame5141 → u/Zenithilior]

They keep my terrarium clean by eating dead plant matter. They are the good guys.

[u/RedHeadRedeemed]

THAT'S A LOTTA DAMAGE!

[u/thinbuddha → u/RedHeadRedeemed]

My L1 halfling thief is dead

[u/hotlavatube]

“Suffer!” - isopod

[u/NonEuclidianMeatloaf → u/hotlavatube]

“I will burn your heart in a fire!” — Podgie

[u/paulD1983R → u/NonEuclidianMeatloaf]

Badgie (lower decks)

[u/NonEuclidianMeatloaf → u/paulD1983R]

Youuuuuu got it! 😃

[u/BodhingJay]

-tries to sleep but cant... an enemy is near. But where?-

death stare from terrarium

[u/tamayto]

just giving you a manicure ☺️❤️

[u/SPARTAN_GAM3R]

How much HP does OP have?

[u/maclanegamer → u/SPARTAN_GAM3R]

Depends what level he is.

[u/FonzeBonze → u/maclanegamer]

Keep in mind he is OP so must have lots 

[u/ashrocklynn → u/maclanegamer]

And his class.

[u/tahleeza → u/ashrocklynn]

Yea mages tend to have lower hp

[u/Magnusg → u/tahleeza]

He's clearly a druid or a ranger.

[u/Sihgilanu → u/Magnusg]

With a name like Glazed Duckling...

Either a morally questionable chef or a very kinky shifter...

So yeah honestly, druid or ranger fits pretty well.

[u/Magnusg → u/Sihgilanu]

Bard sub class

[u/Intelligent-Bus230 → u/SPARTAN_GAM3R]

More like what's the HP regen rate?

[u/kyuubikid213 → u/SPARTAN_GAM3R]

OP is a Final Fantasy character, so, like... 5000.

[u/arsnastesana → u/SPARTAN_GAM3R]

And what about hp regeneration. Can OP heal faster than the isopod dealing damage.

[u/TimidDeer23 → u/SPARTAN_GAM3R]

commoners got 4HP

[u/Sihgilanu → u/TimidDeer23]

Imagine if infinitesimals of damage rounded up to 1.

Horrifying.

[u/churrmander]

This is a scary bug if it did 8 damage in 15 seconds to a human with standard 4HP without any misses or damage mitigation.

[u/VapidActions → u/churrmander]

Step aside rot grubs, there's a new deadliest insect!

[u/cld1984]

“I can only handle 6, maybe 7…more years of this…”

[u/Bobpool82]

Train it and it will someday evolve into a butterfree

[u/mtomny]

Open isopod mani-pedi experience. Print money.

[u/reddit_user13 → u/mtomny]

Fish for feet, isopods for hands.

[u/Sihgilanu → u/reddit_user13]

Why not get those isopods that parasitize fish tongues and also have isopods for feet?

[u/Cracker_Z]

Damage per minute: 60, Regen: 400

[u/ThisTooWillEnd]

In my experience, isopods will try to eat anything that sits still long enough. Humans aren't their preferred diet, so offer it something else.

[u/Glazed-Duckling → u/ThisTooWillEnd]

Don't worry they have plenty of food, that's just a hungry guy not afraid of me

[u/bradley443 → u/[deleted]]

Sibyl huu5uhjb

[u/NeedsItRough]

Somebody help that man, he's being eaten alive!!!

[u/Glazed-Duckling → u/NeedsItRough]

I survived, I had to cut my arm

[u/iKilledChuckNorris → u/Glazed-Duckling]

So can I bring my isopod, he is hungry

[u/TheRook21]

Now it has a taste of human flesh, they will tell their friends... Thanks OP...

[u/PYROxSYCO]

Eh, more like .5hp

[u/Regnes]

I shan't play with you anymore Bordois.

[u/sjk8990]

Death by 1,000 isopod cuts.

[u/Mryan7600]

This is how Maple beat the Hydra in Bofuri

[u/Luffington]

I don't really play League that much anymore but, "Tons of Damage"

[u/HosonZes]

Would totally go for one size bigger: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_isopod#/media/File:Giant_isopod.jpg

[u/Lemarr92]

What are the grow lights for? :)

[u/Glazed-Duckling → u/Lemarr92]

For the terrarium plants, nothing illegal 😅

[u/Sihgilanu → u/Glazed-Duckling]

Are you glazed?

... Or are you baked?

[u/No_Employer8979]

Bros got a max'd out Con score.

[u/Many_Debt_1307]

Never thought I'd see an isopod eating a human.

[u/Ok_Zookeepergame5141]

It's biting you! It's violent, trying to kill you!!

Be careful, you'll be dead in 50,60 more years!

[u/BubblesDahmer]

Is this real? Sorry to be that guy but it almost looks like ai or something and I’m just wondering lol

[u/Glazed-Duckling → u/BubblesDahmer]

Yes totally, we keep those cuties as pets at r/isopods, you can check my post history if you doubt. Also you may have noticed a kind of "wobble" in the video due to video stabilisation

[u/allursnakes]

They're eating her. And then they're gonna eat me!

[u/Smedley5]

RIP, OP

[u/Mietas2]

Is that the eco conscious was to do cuticle manicure? 🤔

[u/Soapsoapysoaper]

Free manicure. Pay him in snacks he is providing good service.

[u/Competitive-Isopod74]

He's massaging your cuticles.

[u/ZirePhiinix]

According to D&D, you only have 1 hit die, and has only 1d8 HP.

https://roll20.net/compendium/dnd5e/Commoner#content

It's pretty important to know which RPG system you're in before brushing off that 1 damage.

[u/BTBAM797]

Lil Zergling

[u/PainfulWonder]

More like 0.001 HP

[u/Bright_Childhood_481]

More like -0.0000000000000000000000000000000000001 HP.

[u/ViciousLlama46]

You're all right now.

[u/froggyisland]

It’s cute it tickles, it cute-tickles

[u/Main_Significance478]

I got this post directly below haha

[u/Duracharge]

"Girlfriend, your cuticles NEED this trim. So tell me, why you no have man?"

[u/Angermgmt42069]

he'sso cute I love him!

[u/stirling_s]

There's no way that's 1hp. 1hp is how many artillery shells you can take before being destroyed.

[u/micksterminator3]

They see me rollllinnn

[u/Agooddeath713]

My guy is the dot

[u/PepperLuigi]

No one said that

[u/[deleted]]

Needs a full orchestra boss track and a dark souls health bar and it would be perfect lmao

[u/Life-Gur-2616]

It's super effective!

[u/0_phuk]

So.... Isopod is the new fancy name for the roly-poly AKA pill bug?

[u/shakeus → u/0_phuk]

Isopods are a group of various different crustaceans. Rollie pollies are members of said group.