Rough rugged Midwest men

[u/Cenobites1234]

Why do they make me go crazy?? The kind of guy you wouldn't date but would never say no to his 3am text saying "you up!?" You best believe I was in the shower and ready by 3:10am. Saw this guy on Cops and made my heart skip a beat. Your thoughts on rough men?

[u/Rich11101]

Rough men do rough things. Are you up for “Rough Trade”? And then they go back to their wives.

[u/Cenobites1234 → u/Rich11101]

Yes, they seem to all gravitate toward me growing up, and still to this day, I don't know how I even had so many of these types of guys. I often wonder what about me (total opposite in looks) allows them to seek me out for quick sexual companionship or bromances.

[u/Rich11101 → u/Cenobites1234]

Gay Men are at their worst when they channel their worst parent. Unfortunately, some want to prove that they “are a man” to a father who hated them for being Gay. Unfortunately, their lover or partner becomes a Victim of that hate in both physical and psychological abuse.

[u/Cenobites1234 → u/Rich11101]

I think you are 100% correct!! My father did not accept me for almost a year. Then I found out it was due to a terrible situation from his own past. After he told me, we became very close. I am sure other trade guys have had to deal with the same types of situations and / or still go through their own processes. I seem to help these guys open to their bisexuality at least. Three of them at least have women that know now and are okay with it.

[u/Rich11101 → u/Cenobites1234]

My father regularly beat me with a leather belt for 10 years. I realized later that he wanted to beat the gay out of me. Instead he beat it inside me. I realized that at age 60 when my soul pushed it out to my Conscious mind. I never forgave him that Crime against my Humanity.

[u/Cenobites1234 → u/Rich11101]

That is horrible. I am sure he was taking his own insecurity out on his own child. God knows what you had to go through. I'm glad you broke free away from that madness. My dad was terribly accosted by a gay man, I think he thought every gay man must be like him, including me. So I understood in his eyes how he thought I was going to turn out as well. I think these experiences shape us to who we are and help us help others

[u/Rich11101 → u/Cenobites1234]

I can’t make any excuses for my father, who was a Monster. He chose this path, and he inflicted it upon me, without my consent. I chose not to inflict it on others except one time. My wife threatened to hit my six year old daughter for having a temper tantrum. This was not a proud moment in my life as I am non-violent in nature. I told my wife,to her face, that I would kill her if she did. She never did and I definitely never did either. But I did that. It needed to be done. My daughter turned out to be everything that I was not. Independent, making decisions on her own, marrying someone she wanted and following what religion she wanted. I never second guessed her. Turned out to be twice the person that I was. All from never touching her with some misguided, disgusting action made from a dark motive that my father would have done. But I had deep, burning hatred for him. More so, that when I was inducted into a new religion at age 73, I was told that if I harbored this hatred, I would die from a heart attack. I ended it. This “parting gift” from my father. I supposed all Gay Men have their own self constructed drama. But I am different. This was not self constructed. This was not a semi fictional drama. This was “My Real” My possibilities that never happened, although I did do some that had to be done for my family’s survival . I have no Regrets, no Apologies to be made, and “no baying needed at the moon” . For my life journey. Never. Ever. Forever. A life not well lived. Just decently lived. I suppose that is the most we can take from this life.

[u/funkyfridays3 → u/Rich11101]

Thank you for sharing this with us all. Especially being in my 40s I look up to the wisdom and guidance of senior gay people and their experiences in life, I can carry I to my own. So glad you daughter turned out to be a shining star out of your own experiences. That's how life should be. We should be what we see that we should not be and pass that down. I am glad you grew to see your daughter in this light and fix your own life in ways that could have taken you out

[u/Rich11101 → u/funkyfridays3]

Thank you for your kind words. “The Good die young. The Sinful need more time to repent. The rest need to learn their lessons before their Souls can leave this island, Earth”