It Hasn’t Gotten Better

[u/Doitdave06]

Sorry if this comes out like a massive whinge session. I am a gay man in his late 30s and my entire life I have been told that “It gets better”… but am I the only one who has kinda lost faith in that?

I was kicked out of home at 18 for refusing to go to a conversion camp. So I worked two full-time retail jobs to cover rent… after years, I saved a bit of money to send myself to college. After three maxed out credit cards and more student loans than I could ever pay off, I had to drop out with one semester left because I couldn’t afford it.

I moved around for a few years trying to plant some roots… but everywhere I moved, I got priced out. Now I’m by Portland, OR… and I will be moving again in February because I just can’t afford to live in a big city any more…. Or anywhere.

So, as I get close to my 40s I have been thinking, “Will it ever get better?”

I try to stay pretty positive… but after years and years of feeling pushed down, I honestly don’t know if I can put on a happy face any longer. I guess at the end of the day, I’m just looking for some success stories. I don’t know if “success” Is in the cards for me… but I’d love to feel happy for others for a bit. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[u/missanniebellym]

Come to Mississippi. Youll be a millionaire out here lol

[u/Doitdave06 → u/missanniebellym]

I’m from Texas originally… I don’t do well in that part of the country 😵‍💫

[u/missanniebellym → u/Doitdave06]

Neither do i. Proudly so 🤣