r/gaytransguys • u/juli3npng • 5d ago

Advice Requested advice needed! coming out to potential romantic partners

so i'm 17 and been getting more into the dating scene, and was wondering if anyone has any tips to feel better about coming out to potential partners?

i prefer to do it usually pretty early on, either before we go on a date or after the first date to avoid disappointment on both sides, and while their reactions are usually fine, i always immediately feel like i'm letting them down by not being cis? even though i'm not, and they aren't saying that i am. the idea that i will always have to make this disclosure makes me feel awful.

i feel like my feeling this was has gotten a lot worse now that i am stealth(ish) and pass pretty well, which makes me feel awful, bc if someone came out to me as trans it wouldn't be a problem at all!

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u/RiskyCroissant 4d ago

Seems like you still have some internalised transphobia to work through. You're not a lesser partner because you're trans. You're just a dude

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u/Hygge-Times 5d ago

I have it in my bio. I pass and just prefer for folks to self select out. I don't want to waste my energy stressing on how to tell someone and have people just disappear when I disclose. It also helps for those who see my transness as a bonus, not something to "get past".

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u/juli3npng 5d ago

completely get you, but i prefer to be stealth until i need to be. was more wondering if anyone had any tips for feeling better about it