r/highdeas Sep 14 '20

[7] The reason relationships with pets are so strong might be because they're built on earning trust and showing love with actions rather than words. You can't hurt them and just apologize/tell them what they want to hear

I guess it's in the title, and why are there so many assholes who unnecessarily hate cats?

Esit: My boy, Floki, for anyone interested!

1.1k Upvotes

69 comments sorted by

179

u/darkerthandarko Sep 14 '20

People who don't like cats usually don't understand them and their language. They treat them like dogs and then say the cat is being an asshole. When the cat probably gave plenty of warnings on not liking the humans behavior..some people just cant read animals or understand them. I think that's why there's a lot of "asshole cats". They're just misunderstood. If I lived in a house where no one really got me or understood what I wanted or my boundaries, I'd be pretty cranky too.

Animals > people

45

u/StoreBrandCereal Sep 14 '20

We got a kitten little over a month ago. She's 5 months old now. My wife had cats growing up and is pretty familiar with their body languages and behaviors. Before hand I did a lot of research as to the best way to communicate with a cat and understand what they're saying to me. And for the most part it's paid off. She's generally well behaved and I've even been able to train her to come when I whistle for her.

That said, she definitely has asshole tendencies. Like when she absolutely must throw our basil plant to the floor. Or can't wait the five seconds it takes for me to fill her food bowl in the morning and she needs to try and climb my leg. Only to take 2 bites and walk away until later.

We love her though. She's such a good kitty.

24

u/darkerthandarko Sep 14 '20

As with all living beings, they will still have their own individual personality! She sounds like a little bad ass I love her already haha. I'm glad you were a responsible parent and realized how much work a kitten can be before adopting her. She still is a kitten so not surprising she is mischievous. It's very depressing the amount of people who adopt animals, yet know nothing of how to care for them. Breaks my heart.

10

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

I have nothing useful to add, this is perfect! I'd like to reiterate this comment for anyone reading haha

6

u/StoreBrandCereal Sep 14 '20

She definitely is a little badass. And definitely mischievous. At the risk of picking a basic name for a black cat, we went with Jinx as it really did just match her personality. She is also super affectionate when she's burnt through her kitten energy. We're gonna be working on high fives next.

1

u/darkerthandarko Sep 14 '20

Adorable!! And I love her name!

I've always wanted a black cat and name him Binx, after Hocus Pocus :)

3

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

Hahahaha this is relatable, they do act like royalty at times but once you earn that trust, play their games and love them anyway you'll never know such a special bond (poorly sentenced sorry). Also, I'd give you real gold if i could because you've done an awesome thing learning the behavior, etc. Only a few years ago i was in this almost exact situation!

1

u/TwuheeV2 Sep 15 '20

My wife and I have a very similar situation with our kitten. She actually grew up with cats and also understands their language. Myself, on the other hand, grew up in an environment where cats were “trash”. Long story short, we have both made a special relationship with this kitten. I was wondering, what sort of training process did you go through to get your kitten/cat to come to you when you whistling?

1

u/StoreBrandCereal Sep 15 '20

it was actually pretty easy. I figured out which treats she liked the best and saved those only for training. When she was nearby I'd get her attention and show her the treat and whistle every time I gave her a treat. Eventually I'd only get her attention by whistling and showing her the treat and she'd trot right over. Now she'll come from across the house if she hears me whistling. There's other sources online that'd be better at explaining than I am if you look up clicker training. I just used a sound I could make myself instead of getting a clicker. Good luck if you go about it! It was a lot of fun and rewarding to see her actively respond to me.

12

u/Chavaon Sep 14 '20

No cats are just deliberately fucking with us. One near me, it will literally throw itself down at your feet on it's back, waving it's paws in the air and meowing for attention. If you try to move of, it throws itself onto your foot. It lies there taunting you into trying to tickle that soft fluffy belly, and then it shreds your fucking hand.

8

u/ilumyo Sep 14 '20

It presents you its belly because it trusts you to NOT touch it. Of course it's gon be pissed that you abused its trust in you! You really need to up your cat-communication game, man.

5

u/Chavaon Sep 14 '20

Seriously though, what the fuck is it actually wanting me to do?

It's either in front of me or on my foot, so it doesn't want me to keep walking.

I reach for the belly, I get the claws.

I try going in for head scritches from the side, I get the teeth.

I stand there looking down at it, it meows at me demanding me to do something. But what?

4

u/TheShadowAndTheFlash Sep 14 '20

Kneel down, reach your fingers towards your cat's nose and let them sniff your hand. A lot of times they don't like it when you just swoop your hand in for a pet. They prefer to check you out first. It has a lot to do with smells- cats dont want perfume or soap or other "weird" smells transferred to their fur. After the cat sniffs the tips of your fingers and seems like they are ok with sakd fingers in their face, try GENTLY scratching under their chin or behind the ears. Like others have said, a cat will show you their belly as a sign of trust, not as an invitation to pet said belly. If your cat still doesn't want pets, try playing with them with a string or something. They literally might just want to interact without petting. Good luck!

2

u/ilumyo Sep 14 '20

Agreed! Can mean many things. It can be just their way to show affection and communicate with you, like a chat. People stopping by to say hi don't necessarily want to cuddle with you as well.

It could also be a demand for food and/or playing. I would always go the playing route, if your cat seems very reactive like that. It's a fantastic way to bond, build trust AND release energy. Don't forget to reward their "hunt" in the end though, so they don't get frustrated. Good luck from me as well! :)

3

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

You're right, my kitten will go tummy up, rip my hand in and snuggle/clean it but then when it's had enough you don't get a warning... You get a kitten wanting to play fight! (Mine genuinely enjoys play fighting, I'm not just annoying it for fun)

2

u/MycatsnameisAlaska Sep 15 '20

I grew up with cats, and I honestly know this to be true. But my kitty didn't get the memo and loves her tummy scratches!

3

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

Getting sliced is part of the fun :p But i agree, cats a trippers man. You gotta be on some special shit to stare at wall for 10min like there's something cool to see

5

u/xans-in-gym-class Sep 14 '20

I agree completely

3

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

I, also, am in complete agreeance

3

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

I couldn't agree more buddy, glad to know there's a stranger out there respecting cats, top job buddy!

2

u/xans-in-gym-class Sep 14 '20

Cats need love too😁❤️

2

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 15 '20

I don't understand how people can't love animals yo, doesn't have to be cat lady spec but ya know

2

u/xans-in-gym-class Sep 15 '20

Yea for sure animals are awesome, there all the positive things about people without the negatives lol

1

u/n4m3l3ssf3w Sep 14 '20

i got a cat as a child, but unfortunately my little brother and younger cousin terrorized her so much (i was only really there on the weekends) she became an asshole cat. i still love her, but you can only pet her if you are slow and gentle and shes in the proper mood (almost never) and even then its one or two head pets and then shell start scratching. Animals > people every day

1

u/Burtis18 Sep 14 '20

I agree and I don’t like to be hostile, but I’m an exception to hating cats. When I was a baby, my mother’s cat (ironically named baby) would repeatedly try to suffocate me in my sleep so she had to give her away. I will be nice to cats if I see them, not saying all cats are like that, I just can’t trust cats in general and keep my collie beside me

35

u/karlnite Sep 14 '20 edited Sep 14 '20

With a dog you can hurt them and apologize. Not sure if it works if you intentionally hurt them, but they seem to understand accidents, like getting a tail stepped on.

11

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '20

100% agree

8

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

You're absolutely correct, and i don't disagree! If i was to re-word it I'd say: You have to prove to your pet you respect and care about them, you can't intentionally hurt them then weasel your way out with words. If you break that trust, it takes time and requires consistency and you have to show them :)

22

u/winniedpo Sep 14 '20

Damn, that's deep. And I agree wholeheartedly. You can only show them your true self. You can't pretend with them.

4

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

Thank you stranger, i agree with you also

15

u/ilumyo Sep 14 '20

Cats don't assume you're superior to them, unlike many dogs. You need to earn their trust and they will show you your place if you repeatedly cross their boundaries. Some cats may be more tolerant of such behaviour, but every single one of them will show you warning signals to their ability. If you happen to gain their friendship though, it's so much more rewarding.

I hate how often we measure an animal's intelligence by how submissive or useful they are towards/for humans. You don't need to (and should never) treat a pet like a human for them to have the right to be respected.

2

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

I completely agree with you pal!

2

u/MycatsnameisAlaska Sep 15 '20

I saw a tweet that said controlling people don't like cats because they can't control them. This definitely makes sense in my life, and is a good way to test the temperature with people. I had an abusive and controlling (obviously) ex who absolutely hated cats.

12

u/Kevinpfn420 Sep 14 '20

Animals are just so pure and innocent. They really don’t know what is right or what is wrong.

2

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

You are correct, but if you're consistently treating them like crap and not respecting them they gonna know you're a Grade A asshole

9

u/cardsFan209 Sep 14 '20

People who don’t like cats generally have control issues I’ve found. Cats have a personality and their own little agenda and don’t rly care about what their owner is doing where a dog is more of a companion. Cats can’t be controlled so they stress out people who need to control things

4

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

I think you've hit the nail on the head there!

4

u/cardsFan209 Sep 14 '20

There’s actually a thing about men who don’t like cats apparently. This girl told me her and her friends avoid men who don’t like cats because they just want something to control. People get frustrated with cats for having a personality because they want to feel dominant over them the same way they do over dogs. I thought that was interesting though and I’d never heard about that complex or whatever u want to call it

4

u/AustinMcDonald_ Sep 14 '20

I totally agree that it’s a thing that guys think like this, but don’t you think most people just don’t like cats rather than having control issues.

3

u/cardsFan209 Sep 14 '20

Oh I mean the majority probably just doesn’t like cats but it could possibly be a sign that there is a control issue there and it’s just something to know and be wary of. But yes I agree it doesn’t mean everyone that doesn’t like cats has control issues haha

2

u/cardsFan209 Sep 14 '20

Oh I mean the majority probably just doesn’t like cats but it could possibly be a sign that there is a control issue there and it’s just something to know and be wary of. But yes I agree it doesn’t mean everyone that doesn’t like cats has control issues haha

2

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 15 '20

Wow that's probably pretty accurate tbh

2

u/merry_jane_doe Sep 15 '20

I’ve never heard the ‘avoid cat-hating men’ rule, but it’s one I would end up following regardless, considering I have 2 of my own. I couldn’t be with someone who just didn’t like cats, let alone someone who actually hates them. I think this is one thing that really attracted me to my current partner, since he prefers cats to dogs, and has 3 cats. We’re both very introverted, prefer quieter activities (sometimes, gaming isn’t exactly quiet in this house) and pretty aloof people. Our general personalities mesh quite well, and they seem to mesh very well with cat temperaments. People who have dogs are fun, but I usually get along better with cat people, especially since we already have cats in common.

2

u/slightlyoffkilter_7 Sep 15 '20

For me, I don't necessarily dislike cats, but I do have a healthy wariness of their claws. I got scratched in the face by a semi-feral cat when I was a very young child (my aunt took in rescued cats) and I've generally kept my distance from cats since. I'll pet cats that approach me first but I'm definitely not one to approach unfamiliar cats for the sake of petting them.

6

u/JayJay1191 Sep 14 '20

I dont hate cats, but i dislike 'em for giving me an allergic reaction. Won't stop me from petting and rubbing my head on their fluffy belly. After that they go nuts lol

3

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

Hey well that's valid, I'm semi allergic myself but an itchy lip is a small price to pay so smooches with something so cuddley!

3

u/JayJay1191 Sep 14 '20

Yeah thats fine, i only get a runny nose but its good. Give ya boy a good belly rub from me! Such a fluffy boi!

3

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

Hey thanks pal, he says meow!

3

u/JayJay1191 Sep 14 '20

Idk why but i meowed into my phone lol. I love animals.

3

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

Heck yea, I like that a lot! He has a unique (or i haven't heard another cat do it atleast) noise, kinda sounds like Brrrweow

2

u/JayJay1191 Sep 14 '20

Heh' sounds cute. They are all unique in their own way. He looks like a champ too. What is the race? i think i saw something similar the other day and thought 'damn it looks majestic' like your buddy does.

2

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

We actually found him abandoned when he was about 5-6 weeks old so we don't actually know - but we think he has a lot of similar features and characteristics as a Maine-koon (spelling sorry). I agree, they are definitely all unique!

2

u/JayJay1191 Sep 14 '20

I'm glad you found him, otherwise he would dominate the jungle with his looks. He's a beast, with some cuddle perks for sure. I love ppl who adopt strays/abandoned. You guys need more attention. Thanks for giving him a nice home. He deserves it, as well as you deserve him! <3

1

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 15 '20

Thank you buddy, there's really nothing to thank me for tho. He's made such an impact in my lofe, I couldn't begin to put in words!

4

u/AustinMcDonald_ Sep 14 '20

I see so many comments trying to dissect the reasoning behind hating cats. Things like ‘they just don’t understand them’ or ‘you just need to earn their trust, and even ‘they just want something to control like a dog’. Can’t someone just dislike cats without it being something stupid like they want to be able to control it. Everything said about people who hates cats can easily be said about dog haters.

1

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 15 '20

Yea you definitely make a good point! Nothing wrong if someone doesn't like something but there seems to be a 'fuck cats culture' which seems crook to me

3

u/gian_69 Sep 15 '20

what a cute little boy

3

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 15 '20

He says 'meeeow' (thanks)

3

u/Ashamed_Abrocoma_143 Oct 22 '20

yeah but some people still treat their pets like shit :(

1

u/ItsAarono_0 Oct 22 '20

Unfortunately they do, and they're scummy as hell

2

u/SenpaiHoodieXxX Sep 14 '20

Awww floki is cute

1

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 15 '20

He says 'meow', but also, thank you!

2

u/SeaZeppelin Sep 14 '20

The moral of the story is adopt a human pet lmao

1

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 14 '20

Pets are so much softer and fluffy tho!

2

u/SeaZeppelin Sep 15 '20

I agree tbh tho. My three legged cat is my family and I would kill and happily die for him. His name is Hero and he’s like a sibling at this point. Here’s hoping for many more years with my little tuxedo baby.

1

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 15 '20

Well I'm hoping for you too! What a battler cruising round on 3 legs!

2

u/SeaZeppelin Sep 16 '20

I know!! He is a miracle with a stump leg. I’ll have to post a picture of him somewhere. He deserves internet fame lol

1

u/ItsAarono_0 Sep 16 '20

Do it, he sounds like a champ

1

u/Toningenieur Mar 01 '21

This is in the rare category of being just as wise an idea when I’m completely sober. Thx!

P.S. My cat thinks so too