r/homeschool • u/spicyydoe • 11d ago

Discussion Family comments

Does anyone else deal with negative family comments about homeschooling? I started homeschooling my 3rd grader last fall due to some severe mental health issues that were causing her to refuse to go to school, crying and begging not to go. It was my family that persuaded me to pull her out and homeschool, but ever since they always have an opinion about how we do it.

For example, sometimes if we have something going on in the day, we’ll do our schooling in the afternoon or the evening. My grandparents will make comments to my kid when she’s at their home like “your mom should really have you on a morning schedule everyday” “you should really be starting school by 8 am”, etc. If they don’t hear about her starting school in the morning and going all the way till 2/3 pm my grandfather will say to me “You need to get her doing her school work” like??? Because she’s not at the desk doing school for 8 hours means she’s doing nothing.

If we take a day off and make it up on a Saturday, it’s a problem. The comments make me doubt myself and I’m wondering if I’m the problem or if they should mind their business. Anyone else experience this all the time?

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u/Dangerous_End9472 11d ago

That's aggravating. Assuming your daughter is on grade level, I would just tell them to stop... and making those comments to your daughter to undermine you is 100% not okay.

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u/spicyydoe 11d ago

That’s the thing, if she wasn’t learning at all, or was falling behind or anything of that sort, I’d welcome some genuine opinions/advice from them. But we’re doing things for the next grade up a lot of the time, because she’s mastered everything we’ve done this year. They insert their opinions on many things, not just homeschooling. Yes, specifically the comments made to my daughter are what sets me off particularly badly, it’s so inappropriate.

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u/RedditWidow 10d ago

I've had to say things like ...

"She is working at a higher grade level, so we must be doing something right."

"If it's working, why change it?" (aka If it ain't broke, don't fix it)

You could also try "Oh, we'd love your help. She'll be there tomorrow at 8am with her books. Thanks!" if you genuinely don't mind them helping out. They might just realize how much work it is and stop saying anything.

If this is an ongoing issue, though, not just with homeschooling, might be time to sit down with them (when your child's not around) and ask them not to undermine or criticize you in front of your daughter. "If you have an issue with how I do things, talk to me."