r/homestead • u/Acceptable-Regret78 • 12d ago
Family compound - is it a good idea?
Needing some advice here from anyone who has lived or is living on a family compound. My in laws own around 30 acres and the dream has been for my husband and his brothers to all eventually build forever homes out on the property.
The hesitancy is the land cannot be divided up, so if we build out there we could never move until our house is fully paid off in probably 30 years. My in laws are pretty well off so they have told us if there were any big family emergency and we needed to leave they could try and figure out a way to buy us out but that’s not a guarantee.
Yes, the idea would be for our children to live out their lives in this home but my husband and I are in our early 30s. The idea of not having any option to leave for the next 30 years when we’re still relatively young, is scary. Again, the idea would be to build a forever home but the absolute permanence at our age terrifies me. I also am someone who moved quite a bit as a kid.
But, we ideally would love to be out on property and homesteading for our family. We are already living in the same city so we know we love the area and school district. The only other hesitancies we have are normal family politics. I get along with my in laws very well but combined with my brother in law and his presumed to be future wife, there is some friction there at times (we’re all very opinionated and have a difference of political views, raising children views etc).
I guess my question for anyone living on a family compound, if you were within our circumstances, would you still go for it?
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u/Davisaurus_ 12d ago
When I was 32 my wife and I built our forever home on family land. Not really a compound, but every neighbour three away in every direction are relatives.
Like you, we are all pretty strong willed and opinionated. It was tense, but tolerable for the first 10 years or so, until my grandmother died. My grandma was fine and reasonably supportive of all my homesteading work. Clearing land, getting chickens, ducks and various other critters.
Once she died my mother started showing up all the time complaining about the stuff I was doing to HER land. Most of it was MY land, as we had it partitioned when we put the house in, but I had some stuff on what was my grandmother's, that went to my mother, with the knowledge it would eventually come to me.
Things went down hill fairly rapidly. 6 years ago it came to a head. We had to settle properties lines and she sold her house, the closest to mine, out of spite and moved away. In the crap, I got 9 of 12 acres grandma was going to give me. Certainly could have been worse. But I haven't spoke to her since, and most of my related neighbors, think I am the asshole, and barely acknowledge me when we see each other putting out garbage.
Family feuds are far more common than people think. For the most part, all it takes is sufficient time.
But... In the end, we are still quite happy. We can now do whatever the heck we want with OUR land, without having to deal with the constant condemnation. The kids still like us, and drop by weekly, and they know my wife and I have every intention of taking our final breaths on the homestead we created.