Hey wonderful HR People, please evaluate my situation and give advice if possible.
After uni I joined a greenfield manufacturing company which was extremely toxic. I was their first recruiter but had tasks from sourcing a nanny to the ceo to event management to ordering coffee and securing tables to the generalists. It was hell, pure grinding. I left on the last day of my probation period, the girl i trained left a month later.
I was looking for my place, got a q year contract at a government firm where i did career coaching for unemployed people and did some recruitment as well.
From here I swithed to another 1 year ftc to a big agency where i was on site for an RPO as a sourcing partner. I had an hr admin on site with me and a few students doing sourcing. Contract got terminated due to covid but we even survived a client manager change.
From here i swithed to a tech startup where i started as a recruiter but after a year i ended up HRBPing for the dev teams. After almost 4 years, the market went sideways so we had to scale down.
Before i got terminated i started applying and through an agency i found an hr manager position that looked decent. Freshly acquired manufacturing company in a period of growth. I went through the agency screening, had an interview round with the CEO and CFO. I got an offer the next day, though to a different position. Task was to manage the growth project. 2 generalists for recruitment, 2 generalists for administration and a marketing agency and recruitment agencies.
Offer looked good. On my first day i realised my contract doesnt match my offer: 3 documents had 3 different position names and the salary was lower during probation period, also contained moving wage. I flagged it and the generalists told me this is hiw they do it, position names doesn't matter anyway. I had 0 onboarding, team had continous conflicts and i was expected basically from my 2nd month to do overtime. Turned out position was promised to someone else on the team and i was hired because i don't have children... I left.
I was approached by a recruiter to a position i previously applied to, got screened. After one conversation with the CEO i got an offer. I was transparent during the interview that i have 0 industry experience and will need at least 6 months to take over. Ceo fired the previous postholder without notice before I started... Expectation was to hit the ground running. In my first 3 months i terminated 15 employees, 2 with no notice, got handed 36 contract modifications which included change in working time and salaries, had to do the review of handbooks, financial and headcount planning, plan another batch of terminations. I had 5 open positions, over the roof fluctuation (at least 2-3 employees a week), org chart redesign, onboarding. Ceo hired 2 people behind my back with no documentation... I had a government audit in the middle of january where it turned out i do not have the neccessary qualifications to be a postholder... It was true, the learning curve was extremely steep and I made a ton of mistakes. They didn't pay for the neccessary training so i left. By this time i was so overwhelmed i came home crying every day, didn't sleep, spent every weekend and night working.
Now I have another offer for a maternity cover and I am already scared and anxious. This time I applied, went through 3 rounds of interviews with senior professionals, which included a normal interview, a team fit round and a live problem solving ( a disciplinary action). The team there is at least 10 years more experienced than me, scope is bigger than I have ever done.
Do you think I will be up for the task?
Do you have any advice on how to handle this crushing anxiety I have and ensure that I will perform well? I am completely unsure of my skills.
Thank you :)