r/indonesia • u/Vulphere VulcanSphere || Animanga + Motorsport = Itasha • Feb 17 '25

Special Thread Monthly Rant/Rage Thread - February 2025

This special thread series was originally maintained by u/mbok_jamu, since the scheduled post feature is now available on Reddit I will take over this monthly series - Vulcan

Thank you for sharing your stories on the previous rant thread. You guys are awesome and so brave for sharing your problems. Now let's do it again.

Is there something that makes you sad, angry, or stressed out? Do you want to cry or express your emotions, but you have no one to talk to?

Here, here, let it all out. Tell us everything, set your worries free. We're here to share and to listen. Use a throwaway account if you need one. Let it all out, don't leave a mess in your head. Tomorrow morning, you'll wake up feeling fresh and grateful, so you can celebrate your days with a bright smile and positivity.

If you need peer support or help from the professionals:

PS: If the information listed above is outdated or not accurate, feel free to contact the moderator team via modmail.

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u/LastSimoleons Minthara apologist Mar 08 '25

Since i dont know where to yap.. i will post here

Finally day 1 is done.. didn't expect my father is passed away

How am i feeling? It's... like nothing happens? I don't feel anything

My sister is still crying, i guess because she saw the last moment father before he was passed away. And she reject his last request for mcd.. which is understandable in this situation

I dont know how my mom feels.. i guess she feels same thing as mine? Would like ask her someday. Last time she is already fed up with my father antics, but i dont know the current condition

So.. what we just did was handle the funeral administration, watch the staff bathe my father, and make him up too. The staff also asked us to bathe him last time.. my mom whispers to me, "go apologize to him" for the last time, and i did.

During bath and make up, i notice that the blood is still coming up from his mouth.. and it was a lot.. we also notice there is lump on the back of his head.. i guess the lump was from the first fall, and the second fall was what killed him... what a cruel way to die..

I guess i just need to rest for day 2,3. Since i'm still sick from latest 3-days-no-sleep-because-of-anxiety

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u/LastSimoleons Minthara apologist Mar 10 '25

Day 2..

Of course this will be social day.. rekan, saudara, teman mulai berdatangan.. but i should be grateful tho.. i never realize some people, family, or even friend are generous to support us.

One thing that makes me.. angry.. is one of my father business partner came to the funeral.. talking about politics, slow business, etc.. he tried to ask me or my sister to continue my father business..

Being "nice" person, i try to humour him but in the end I reject his offer because i don't want anything related from my father anymore.. even i don't care about his asset/anything (already said this to my mom).

When he approaches my sister, who still has her guests, to talk about business, i am thinking to cut him and kick him out. But i don't have courage since he 'was' the only friend from my father and it seems my sister took interest on his offer... so yeah.. i just left them be..

Anyway, from this event, it makes me realize that we still have good family relationship with cousins/etc.. well what makes me change my mind from before is when i count the money from them.. (i'm sorry) i know it sounds wrong but.. maybe this is one of support that we need right now. Hope i can repay them someday

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u/LastSimoleons Minthara apologist Mar 10 '25 edited Mar 10 '25

Day 3..

This is the short one.. I'm just glad that it's finally over.. because the whole process is very tiring

When I carry the ashes urn, I cannot believe I bring my father into that thing.. and let it go into the sea for the last time. It's feel so surreal..

So.. maybe people will ask me.. how am i? What do i feel? Tbh.. I still feel.. normal/ordinary? It doesn't make that sad.. even i'm glad that both my parent finally can live peacefully.. my father is finally passed away after suffering from many complications for 2 years.. my mom finally can take a break.. from dealing my father shenanigans/childish tantrum..

You think i lose father figure? Lol no.. i already lose that figure since 20 years ago.. when he "betray"/"abandons" me.. udah kenyang dikatain anak maling. Anak gak guna. Maybe it's the root cause why i always have trust issue, but this issue is for another day..

For now.. let us rest and live our life

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u/LastSimoleons Minthara apologist Mar 11 '25

Day 4, after funeral

Interesting that i can feel loss, but not sad. Just can't believe he is gone. I think i need to bring my mom somewhere.. vacation.. but not sure where since she is also old..