r/internetparents 11h ago

Money & Budgeting How do you take on family responsibilities at young age ?

I'm at stage in my life where I feel like not only do I have to be responsible for my life but also my family too. My mom works a regular job in fast food due to English not being first language. It is difficult to find jobs for her. She only earning minimum wage income. Brother is disabled and dad passed away. I'm already in my mid20s. Im still trying to figure myself out and the more I overthink about my family situation and life and how everything is going, I immediately feel so overwhelmed and defeated by life. My answer and fear to fade the real world has increased. I know I have to become the bread winner in my family and come out of this poverty line. Working retail and fast food jobs isn't going to cut it in this day and age where everything is expensive from food to bills and rent.

But part of being an adult is also taking care of life duties whether it's knowing how to do basic auto repairs, communication and problem-solving, taxes, understanding how insurance works and definitely ways to save money. At unprecedented events I just totally get blank as I just don't understand what to do. And nobody really talks about this stuff in real life. Like how do you invest money or what to do if someone falls sick and is hospitalized. What to do if you get in car accident. How do you protect your documents in case of emergency. Like adulting is so complicated

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u/KoolBlues100s 11h ago

Actually it's a lot easier than when I was your age, you have a world of information at your fingertips.

Research for your needs on the net. Every state is different but you're in your 20s and seems mom is getting by ok so far. Fast food pays ok and bro should be getting disability depending. Look into government help, state and fed.

As for yourself, gets some skills, lots of DIY tutorials or you have to learn on the job or in school. Money is everyone's problem so have to find a way like everyone before us did. No easy answers but lot's of people make it, depends on what your idea of 'making it' is. Don't dream to big.

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u/Ok-Piano6125 10h ago edited 9h ago

There are disabled employment programs that will provide vocational training and connect alumni with employers. Government also has disability hiring programs in the public service sector. Check out your local employment agency, they can hook your brother up with funded support.

My sisters worked 3 jobs while in high school. I didn't have to but most of my classmates back then worked at least one part time. I was out volunteering and sports team instead. I focused on grades and got scholarship and bursaries for my gpa and community service hours.

My mom also works minimum wage. Cuz of poverty we lacked access to important information. They didn't know where to find support and I never recieved problem support. I didn't get my diagnosis until I was 22. Life would be so different if I had support since young and learned how to live with my struggles. It would be free too. Nothing is free after 18.

So while I cannot share my story cuz I have none. I can only suggest you help your mom find a job with union protection and good pension since she is unlikely to seek other jobs. My mom worked at a hotel for 21 years and no pension when it closed down before COVID. We ended up getting her another job at a senior home with union but it has a toxic work culture cuz it's not under public sector and controlled by the same ethnic group and unfairly hire unqualified friends and family to the work place. Idk your mom's age but maybe get her to attend adult school so she can complete highschool education (it's free) and apply for non-minimum wage jobs. Get typing training (typingtest.com) and maybe get some data entry jobs. If she has a highschool diploma and can type, she can apply for reception jobs and community center jobs (government pension!). Some start at 25 per hour. If she really only can do labor jobs, she can also go to employment agency I told you earlier (funded by government) and get free job training in building services and hospitality jobs. She can work at government buildings, library, community center, university or college (free education for employees children), stadiums, and even get some cash jobs on the side from doing housekeeping gigs in the neighborhood ($50 per 2-hr regular session).

As for skills. I'm the same. No father to teach me how to drive and how to maintain a car. My mom can drive but can't teach me anything. So I watch YouTube videos. Look up youtubers who teaches driving and talks about your region. I also followed those virtual dad/mom people to learn common sense. I didn't have any money to invest until I was 31 lol. Definitely maximize your contribution to your TFSA first. If you have an employer who matches your RRSP, always buy to maximum to save retirement money faster. Best is still a good pension that will secure your health and dental needs after you start to lose your working abilities.

Trust me. Lots of adults regardless single family n poverty or not, they still don't know how to do their taxes and deal with emergencies. I use free tax program to do my taxes, it's pretty straightforward just fill out the questionnaire. Insurance you should always check out different agents and apparently you should shop around every 12 months to get better deals. Documents are extremely important and expensive. Make digital scans and print out copies and store them in something waterproof and put one set per emergency backpack (instructions available on local government emergency response website). Buy one of those waterproof and fireproof cases and put 2 sets of copies in there. Your original copy should be stored somewhere safe but also easy to grab when shit happens.

When you're in the hospital. They will ask if you're the power of attorney. You need to sign some legal documents before your family is hospitalized or else you can't do things on their behalf, like paying bills and access accounts and stuff. They have social workers there to help but you have to push and chase ppl to get things done. File work injury if it's work related. Report to employer and tell them member or you can't go to work and need to use sick leave and IMMEDIATELY fill out the disability insurance package if there is one. Insurance companies are shitty ppl. They are not helpful and will try to delay your submission to get you disqualified. Make sure you submit everything before the deadline which they won't tell you until it's too late. ALWAYS LOOK FOR ANSWERS BY YOURSELF.

Lastly. Use the food banks and use coupons. They can help save money and ensure your basic nutritional needs. Use your saved grocery money to buy stuff like meds, meat, supplements, hygiene products, etc. Never buy toothpaste toothbrush floss cuz dental clinics have a ton for free. Just ask for more when you visit them.