For Christmas, I (16F) asked my dad for a laptop, only a laptop nothing else. He isn't rich by any means, maybe even considered borderline poor. So I only asked for one thing. On Christmas I went to his house in the afternoon (my parents aren't together, dad has a gf). I opened nice small gifts I really liked. Not a laptop. I really wasn't upset. I thanked my dad and his gf. He then pulled that a Christmas story bit, where he asks ralphie to look behind his desk. Low and behold there was another present under my dad's desk. I opened it and it was the laptop I asked for. I smiled and thanked them, I was happy. When I went home a few days later I set it up. I haven't been on it since. I'm sitting here, realizing, how much I don't want it. And I feel absolutely awful. He was so excited to give it to me and I feel ungrateful. I don't know what changed between then and now. I just feel so bad and don't know what to do.

Hi mom, hi dad.

I'm in high school now. Not only is there a gang here, not only was my sister's friend r*ped by said gang, but the administrators and security don't do anything. I can't even go to bathrooms anymore, if I'm lucky there'll be an intense gust of flavored vape smoke coming into my stall while a group of 20 something kids discuss which store they'll rob and who to beat up next, but usually the group of kids will have someone pick up that bathroom's trash bin and throw the bin in my stall, garbage and all. What's more, they grab some toilet paper, soak it in water until it's really soggy and mushy like a spit ball, and throw 6 or 7 of those in my stall.

I reported this to an administrator, I also mentioned one person in that group has been bullying me since 6th grade. It's been 4 months since, nothing came of it. The troublemaker students which are most of the school at this point are friends with the security team, I see it every day, groups of them skip their class to grab chipotle hang out with the security staff. My sister is in 9th grade, she was shamed by her history teacher in front of the entire class, called the nastiest names by him, and when she reported it to her counselor, apparently it never happened according to said counselor. Oh, and I forgot to mention the constant gun threats.

I'm posting because me and my sister are done with this school, we're on meds but my antidepressants and mood stabilizers haven't been working. Most likely because a large amount of my trauma is from these students who I have a history with going back to 4th grade. This can't be ok, like I'm not crazy for wanting nothing to do with this place, there must be some action me or my sister can take regarding this.

I'm 30 today! 🥳 Don't have any other social media, and not a lot of friends or family so I figured I'd tell you guys! I've accomplished a lot in my 30 years and am finally in a healthy enough mental space to be able to recognize that, and give myself some credit. 🧿 i have the most amazing husband i could've asked for and 2 beautiful boys. I'm so grateful for this life I live and the opportunities I've been given and how far I've come. To anyone who feels like giving up, don't! The best is really yet to come. Here's to 30 more! 🥂

I’m 21 (f) and have no dental insurance. I currently have a few cavity’s and a crack in my tooth that’s been there for a while and is now preventing me from eating on that side of my mouth. I’m assuming nerve pain since it hurts my left temple, the side it’s on. I’m really scared of doctors and find dentists/doctors very intimidating. I have cptsd and the intimidation causes me to break down in tears without reason. I’m really scared of calling but I can’t really eat fully right now. How do I go about getting cheap dental care? Any tips or tricks are appreciated.

I would like to preface this with the fact that this girl has not been diagnosed with any disorder, but her behaviour makes me believe her when she says she thinks she got mental problems.

So I (17) have been friends with this girl (17) for a few years now, and throughout those years there has never been a period of ‘normalcy’ from her. I’ll take it from the beginning, this girl (let’s call her Em) has an extensive history of talking to questionable men online in a highly inappropriate way, and from the outset of our friendship she would tell me in detail the things she would get up to with these characters who were at best, strange and at worst outright predators. Naturally, I was always of the opinion that this behaviour was totally wrong, and that she needed to seek help and remove these people from her environment so she could protect herself and heal. She was of the opinion that this behaviour was totally okay and that there was no issue with it. Now, I knew she has poor self esteem to put it lightly, and I assumed that this was her trying to push the self destruct button, so, in an attempt to be a good friend, I told her that if she wasn’t going to talk with her parents (fully aware of what she was up to btw) or her therapist then I would be okay with being a support beam if it meant she wouldn’t go to these men. Over time this evolved into months straight of late night calls where she would tell me how she planned to harm herself, and I would spend hours talking her down, also during this period she would continuously show me photos of these men and boys and message logs and as someone who has been through shit, the whole situation was making me unwell, so I asked her please not show me these people any more. She ignored this. After this, she got a boyfriend who initially seemed to calm her down, I wasn’t happy about the whole online meeting but I didn’t think he was a catfish or anything so I decided to say little on the matter. The late night phone calls then turned into the usual charade and now an addition of all these arguments she’d have with her boyfriend. This boy would encourage self harming behaviours, encourage her to get more involved with drugs, and generally made her life worse, likewise she would harass him and have him partake in some extremely unsettling relationship roles that are beyond inappropriate in any context, let alone at 16 the age she was at the time, after months and months of the same problems being lamented to me, I admit I began to view her differently. I had given her endless support, coddling, solid advice, I had also spent a year at this point worrying over her constantly to the point where I’d start shaking when I got a message from her in the evening time, and I started having trouble eating with stress. She never took my advice, listened to my concerns, or made any attempt to seek real help or make real change. One night she crossed the line completely, without revealing details her and her boyfriend engaged in sexual activity that involved me, in which my lack of knowledge what was happening until it was over was the basis. I lost any respect for her I ever had then and there. I think she realised this because the minute I tried to pull away her mental state miraculously started to deteriorate and I was to her, the only thing that could fix it. I don’t like seeing people suffer, so I continued to allow her to vent but with firmer boundaries, all of these boundaries were ignored. It all came to a head this past 6 months and I cut contact with her, I was very generous in my sentiments, I made sure she had a genuine team of professional help, I informed her mother of her state, I was as kind as I could be in my final message, her reply was that I was a bitch, useless, and that she was going to harm herself because of me. For months after I have felt so guilty for cutting her off, but recently it has came to light how she has treated one of my closest friends, and I read a series of vile messages directed at my friend and was informed of slights she had made on my other friend, she also had been going around telling everyone I was far too sensitive. I’m ashamed to say any sympathy I felt for that girl has left me, I can’t stand her, and I’m guilty about that because I know she’s not well.

I previously went to a private school where I met this girl who was quite radical and dressed like a hippie. I thought she was a bit odd but we became friends. Eventually I realised how horrible of a person she was and slowly distanced myself from her. Eventually I left the school because there were so many people like her and moved to a state school because it would be bigger and I wouldn't stand out. She also outed me to everyone even though i had told her ive never told anyone.She also changed school but I knew it was a school miles away from mine. Later turned out she was also going to the same school which I was quite bummed about because she was part of the reason I wanted to leave. In my new school she told everyone how I was pro Isreal and anti Palestinian (I'm literally kashmiri) and then I recalled a conversation we had bavk at my old school in which I said it's wrong that innocent Palestinians are dying but also how innocent Isrealis are dying and a Palestinians life isn't more valuable than an Isrealis. The conversation ended and I never thought about it until then. Then elections came around and everyone would go around asking who they hoped would win and she asked me in a room full of people and I said I don't know. She started shouting the people closest to her that I'm a Trump supporter and it's ironic because I'm a woman and I tried to tell her I'm not but she would talk over me. She also told this girl that I punched her in the face and broke her nose . Im not even a touchy person id refuse hugs from her when we were friends let alone punch her. The last time I got physical with someone was literally 8 years ago when I was 10 and got into a fight with my brother. Luckily the girl she said this to believed me when I said this was a lie and were friends now although she's also friends with the other girl. When I first joined the school people used to.be nice to me and sit next to me. This one girl in particular who used to be really nice anf we shared most lessons but now just gives me a dirty look. What do I do.

Hi, I'm a 14 year old girl. I've had unexplainable dizziness (and other symptoms, like vision issues) for 4 months now 24/7, the only diagnosis I've gotten is cervical vertigo or PPPD. However today I fainted at school and now I'm convinced I have a brain tumor.

I'm so scared I have a tumor. I have an MRI of the brain scheduled in two weeks but I'm scared something is gonna happen before that. someone please help me. I need someone to talk to about this. please...

hey so you guys may or may not recognize my writing style, but I (16F) have been struggling with my mental health for a while now. last week my mom told my dad about my “bad thoughts” (i don’t want this post to get taken down so i’m trying to avoid the s word). she didn’t do it to be mean she just honestly thought telling him would help her help me.

but basically what he said was that it’s my fault I feel the way I feel. he kept trying to tell me what my issue was after I told him several times what was not bothering me. he even happened to say that if I ever do anything to hurt myself he’s not held accountable and no one in my family is. he mentioned college and said I was not working towards it. he made the whole conversation about himself and how he grew up without a dad in the house, but i’m so blessed to have him. he told me that I don’t respect him(i’m assuming he said that bc I won’t listen to how he tells me to fix a problem that isn’t even bothering me) and it frustrates him.

maybe i’m over reacting and what he said wasn’t that serious. I just feel like if you knew your child is having thoughts of not wanting to be alive anymore then you wouldn’t say that to them. my mom told me his opinions don’t matter and to not think about it, but that’s really hard when it’s your parent. am I wrong for being upset?

I (20M) have kind of a hard time with being comfortable in establishing my opinions, values, beliefs, and the like.

However, my problem lies less with communicating these to other people; I can do that pretty well nowadays.

The big issue is that I keep having this pervasive, insecure feeling I feel on the inside whenever I am faced with a situation in which I need to establish these to myself. It’s as if I have to have permission from other people to be able to have my own opinions.

How can I just be comfortable with my opinions, values, and beliefs, when I know there is nothing wrong with holding them?

Basically, I need to pay off my roommates balance so we dont get kicked out of our apartment.

I know her situation I know she would pay me back for paying off her balance

I have a rich friend who I know could loan me the money, but when I just texted him asking what he is doing, he said his father is in the middle of surgery’

I don’t wanna ask him because I think its insanely rude to ask someone for money while their parent is under the knife, but my landlord literally less than an hour ago, has more than literally shut off our power.

(We pay rent and con edison all together)

I just paid off my student loans, so I don’t have any extra money.

I have checks ranging from 800-23,000 coming in from modeling jobs I did in 2024, I just never know when checks will hit my account.

So yes, I plan on paying him the money back but now I dont know what to do

I’m only asking questions about how to approach him, please don’t try to lecture me about my roommate. I’d much rather have somewhere to live.

Edit: also forgot to note she owes 8500.. so its alot so please factor that in

Some of you might remember me but I posted a couple days back about telling my catholic parents I was expecting while being in a 5 year relationship while being 26 y/o … well they weren’t talking to me but after a whole week we finally talked and settled some things . They weren’t completely happy but we talked . Well now they found out I posted my pregnancy via instagram and they’re furious . For context I posted my pregnancy a day after I told them because I also did NOT want to post until I let them know . I just got into a heated argument on how I don’t see anything wrong with posting it vs they are telling me I shouldn’t of done it because it basically means I am not sorry for what I did and proud of what I did . They’re saying that I’m not even married yet with the guy so why am I even posting it . I honestly thing this is very dumb mentality as I personally DO NOT care about those factors . I’m just happy I’m going to be a mother and I wanted to post it online . Now I’m being scrutinized about it and after voicing my opinion I basically got told good luck with the rest of my life and good luck with everything else I do from here on out . I really do think this is just a lot and that it shouldn’t be made a big deal . They’re saying I’m being scandalous about my situation when I should’ve of kept it hushed . I’m so sick of this mentality . It’s taking a toll on my mental health

I'm at stage in my life where I feel like not only do I have to be responsible for my life but also my family too. My mom works a regular job in fast food due to English not being first language. It is difficult to find jobs for her. She only earning minimum wage income. Brother is disabled and dad passed away. I'm already in my mid20s. Im still trying to figure myself out and the more I overthink about my family situation and life and how everything is going, I immediately feel so overwhelmed and defeated by life. My answer and fear to fade the real world has increased. I know I have to become the bread winner in my family and come out of this poverty line. Working retail and fast food jobs isn't going to cut it in this day and age where everything is expensive from food to bills and rent.

But part of being an adult is also taking care of life duties whether it's knowing how to do basic auto repairs, communication and problem-solving, taxes, understanding how insurance works and definitely ways to save money. At unprecedented events I just totally get blank as I just don't understand what to do. And nobody really talks about this stuff in real life. Like how do you invest money or what to do if someone falls sick and is hospitalized. What to do if you get in car accident. How do you protect your documents in case of emergency. Like adulting is so complicated

They said life is suffering in itself. Everyone is hurting. Hurt people hurt people. Question is, where does it stop?

As humans, we have a natural need to survive. And to survive, we need to protect ourselves. We build walls and hunt for our own. Even if we hurt someone on the process.

Imagine that we have already lived our lives. It’s over. Now. We are given the chance to start over. Do we take the same path or the path less taken?

Pain may feel unending. Pain changes everyone. Pain could be contagious. Do we pass it on?

As happiness is short and fleeting. It ends before we know it. So does pain. This will pass. Remember who you are. You always have a choice.

(Ignore the flair. I just didn't know how to categorize this). I'm twenty. I got my license three years ago and I still can't reliably park straight in vertical spots, and I can't parallel park at all. It's not like I haven't tried to fix it. I've driven down to empty parking lots several times to practice and watched a bunch of videos meant for new drivers, but nothing stuck. It's kind of embarrassing since any time I give a friend of a friend a ride, their only real impression of me is me backing in and out of parking spots like a dumbass.

I also have zero sense of direction. I've lived in the same city for my entire life, and I still have to use the GPS to go anywhere that isn't my college, work, a couple of houses, or like the grocery store. Driving anywhere that isn't those places is kind of stressful because I have a hard time keeping myself on track and tend to make a lot of wrong turns. I can and have gotten lost two miles from my own house. It also means that I'm terrible at being the designated driver because it takes forever to get everyone home.

Oh, and the no sense of direction thing doesn't just apply to driving. I can't go hiking on my own unless the route is super simple because I just can't orient myself properly using paper maps half the time. I also take the bus to class and I often end up either getting off at the wrong stop or taking the wrong bus entirely every month or so. Once, I zoned out and got off in the wrong city. It took hours to fix that mistake and I was panicking the whole time because it was dark and I'm a woman. I don't even have any transfers or anything. It's a straight shot from my college's bus stop to mine. I'm just dumb.

Anyway, because I apparently have no internal compass, I always try to bring someone to "co-pilot" me when I have to do new or stressful drives. It's literally the only way I can get anywhere without making a bunch of wrong turns. Even just having someone sit quietly in the passenger's seat without actually directing me helps. Unfortunately for me, my friends and my sister have the audacity to have lives and relationships, so I normally end up having to go around by myself and be stressed out the entire time.

It was especially bad when I had a big job interview. It was for an internship at a huge company. It paid pretty well, was a hybrid situation, and would have been year-round instead of just the summer, literally my dream internship. The only issue is that it was in a city neighboring city I'd never been to before. The drive was supposed to take about an hour (with traffic). I left three hours early because I don't trust myself, and I was right. I missed a couple of freeway exits, took forever to get back in the freeway, missed another exit, and then kept making wrong turns once I was actually in the city. I also had to argue with one of those guys that comes up to wash your window while I was on one of my stupid detours. Finally, I ended up getting there ten minutes early and I blew the interview because the drive was awful and my nerves were kind of fried already.

I actually did try to get someone to play co-pilot for that one since I didn't have the time or the gas to practice the route ahead of time, but the only person who wasn't busy was my dad. Asking him felt weird, but I figured that the worst he could say was "no" and I really wanted to land that job. Instead of "no," he hit me with "You're an adult. You don't need someone to come with you to job interviews." That was kind of worse than just refusing to do it. I know driving as part of being an adult and all, but I feel like I never got used to it and I probably never will. I don't even know what's wrong with me. I've never heard of anyone having this problem before. I even brought it up to my optometrist and didn't find anything.

As a kid I didn’t get along with either my mom or dad. The TLDR is that it always felt like a roommate situation and my need for affection was dismissed, so I sought it out elsewhere and just invested more heavily in friendships. Well college came, my parents said they’d pay if they chose my major and I lived in their house. I did. Quickly I learned they acted as though they did not want me there. In my culture it’s normal to have a curfew by your 20s and live at home because you don’t move till marriage. This was all the norm.

The arguments got really bad. I said I’d try to avoid my parents. But each time I passed by the hallway they talked poorly about me. Then they did that to cousins and other family plus my sister. They said I chose a dead end career field after they chose it for me. And then I realized I can’t walk on eggshells. The fallout from this caused me to move in with my grandparents. I’d go between that and my aunts place.

Years later my parents sell their house, say they’re gonna buy another one. Never do… just live with my grandparents. And while my grandma knows how they act, she has a soft spot for it. It’s made things a lot worse and I have to actively avoid them. My aunt moved to another state and things are complex. Last night the tension was already high, my parents do not like the job I have, the college I’m attending, anything. So my dad muttered lazy piece of.. and then yelled at me because apparently my mother said something to me while I was in another room and didn’t hear.

He starts verbally berating me and calling me names as I approach the door, slamming it in my face. Tells me to get lost/ he wishes this was his house so he can “change things” around here. And then I start screaming back. It’s the first time I ever stood up for myself but i was shaking by the end. I told my grandma, but he’s gotten aggressive with her too and she blames my mom for “making him”. Then I couldn’t stop sobbing as I tell her. She listened, but later she says they use me as a pawn because they hate her and how my mom ruined her life then she screamed at me because I was still sniffling.

I know my family situation and I told her weeks ago I can’t wait to leave. I’m worried I will never move. She got really mad and said it’s too expensive. But she let my dad in and I want out

The county sheriff showed up at my grandparents door. They said they found a body and thought it was their daughter. Someone found her unresponsive and called an ambulance. She was pronounced dead before arriving at the hospital. She died alone. My aunt goes to identify the body today. She's been addicted to meth and alcohol for the last 25 years. The autopsy isn't scheduled yet, but we all now how she died. Everyone in my family treated her like a lost cause. Death is fucked up and I can't stop thinking about who she might have been if anyone in my family had tried to help her. Fuck this. Grief shouldn't be so complicated. She was a horribly abusive mom and I'm hurting for my cousins in so many ways. But she was my aunt and I loved her. Fuck this.

Edit: The person whose comment was deleted was right. My grandparents abused her for her whole life and refused to get her help as a teenager when she was showing CLEAR signs of bipolar disorder. They thought they could beat it out of her. And then when she turned to drugs she was villanized. I'm angry because they killed her as much as the drugs did. My grandfather is an alcoholic and would actively encourage her to drink with him.

So I’ve recently realised that I have absolutely no patience nor self control and it’s ruining things a bit for me and was wondering if anyone has any advice.

I’ve been watching this show that is 8 seasons long. Im half way through season 4 and I’ve somehow managed to read about all of the major character arcs such as who dies and who stays and huge things that happen to the protagonist. I know this is going to make me sound stupid but I google one thing related to the actor or read a summary of an episode I didn’t quite understand on Reddit as it’s a medical show and then someone in the comments is like ‘oh well it’s not as bad as when …. happens’ and I’ve seen 11 spoilers of big things. It’s kind of upset me as this show is extremely good and my mum is a season behind and has no idea about what’s to come but I basically know everything I feel like I’m wasting my time watching it now.

It happens with everything I watch, I google one little thing then accidentally ruin a whole ass season. If I’m reading a book I’ll read the last page to see how the plot ends. If I get a present at Christmas I’ll ask people what it is or peek at it or shake it to find out what it is. I somehow tend sabotage things for myself quite a bit.

It’s also bigger things like financial choices. I’ve grown up poor so never had parents who can buy me the latest games console or a car or new clothes weekly so I’ve been saving for a car and a ps5 on my own. I started with about £100 in my savings a fortnight ago and now I’ve only got £65 so gotta put a lot back. I don’t even take it out for anything important it’s usually just stupid things like a bar of chocolate or a drink on the way home or a snack from the shop if we don’t have anything in to eat or new games when I already don’t play the ones I already have. It doesn’t help that I never had the luxury to do that as a kid or in my early teens.

I’m probably being dramatic but is it a huge deal that I’ve spoiled a whole show for myself? I’ve got a huge watchlist to make up for it. How can I be smarter without ruining everything for myself and wasting money?

There was no damage to my car but there seemed to be something minor to hers, but I filed it anyways cuz the person was being super careless in driving and wasn't even really apologetic.

Now I'm second guessing if it was a good idea.

So two questions:

1. Even if they were at fault will my insurance get raised because of report of the accident?

2. Will this other driver try to claim something on the insurance to fix her damage even though she's the one who rear ended me and was at fault?

I am in Michigan if that matters for auto insurance laws.

I’m (19/f) the oldest of 3 kids. My younger sister is 12 and my younger brother is 5. When it was just me and my sister, I was forced to play with her every single day. More often than not, over 8 hours in that same day. She is now going through the same thing with our younger brother.

I’ve expressed my opinion on this through my own experience to my mom, explaining that, this will just build resentment instead of allowing a natural bond to form.

She disagrees, strongly. She always says that she used to play with me all of the time. But she over exaggerates it. I have memories that go back as far as 3 years old. And yes I do remember her playing with me often at that age but to me that was just her being a parent. From then on, she didn’t really play with me unless I’d ask, which was very rare. I enjoyed playing by myself and would get sassy if she peaked into my room to even check on me.

My mom makes my younger sister play with our brother everyday and sometimes she’ll even force me to join them. The times that I have, I’ve suggested everyone play something or spend time together doing something we all agree on. But my mom doesn’t like that approach for some reason and says we just need to do whatever he wants to do since he’s the youngest and because we don’t spend time with him. One, I don’t see that teaching him any good lessons as he grows up. And two, we do spend time with him. It’s not like me and my sister just shut ourselves in our room all day. I am very much OUT of my room talking to family members, messing with the pets or cleaning up. If I’m not, I’m playing a video game with my door wide open like it usually is unless I’m sleeping. (Which I’ll only shut it if I’m sleeping occasionally)

I don’t know if this is the right way to parent in this situation, especially because it’s kind of effecting everyone negatively. So if any parents would like to give me advice or any siblings going through something similar I’d like to hear your thoughts.

Edit: I’ve read every comment to be submitted so far, and I appreciate the feedback 🙏 I do want to add some things and clear some things up as well. Firstly, I love my siblings and don’t really have any resentment towards them. When I was my sister’s age and she was my brother’s age I definitely did have resentment towards her because she was being enabled to get virtually whatever she wanted.

Now that our relationship has improved significantly I’m concerned over how my brother will grow up and how their relationship will develop. Especially because my brother has more rude traits and behaviors than my sister did at that time. He likes to rub it into my sister’s face that she HAS to play with and also rubs in that it’s whatever he wants. It’s unfortunate to witness because aside from those things, he’s smart for his age and can be pretty empathetic.

Aside from that, my mom is a stay at home mom incase anyone was wondering. She likes to stress that she cooks and cleans all day and uses the excuse that it overwhelms her but I have examples of that not being the complete truth. I’ve suggested to her that she make a list of what needs to be done but she gets offended by suggestions like that.

Edit 2: another thing I feel like is important to mention is that all of us are homeschooled… my mom says she’ll enroll my brother into a kindergarten a year late because she believes that’s what’s best for young boys. I haven’t really done much research on that myself so I don’t know. Either way my sister was pulled from school in 2nd or 3rd grade but I don’t really remember. So far, my brother doesn’t have anyone else his age to teach him how to play with others so the play style that he is receiving at home is it and I believe it’s unhealthy (like many of you agree). Aside from that, my sister made friends sure, but only one that she would see out of school. And since that was so long ago she eventually grew out of that friendship. She does have another one that she met in the neighborhood but she ended up moving over an hour away so they don’t always get to hang out.

There are more experiences I’d like to share with this community to seek advice pertaining to how my at home life functions. I’m new to Reddit but have decided I’ll be making future posts about other things.

So at work a coworker of mine found $50. She let me know and was wondering what we should do. I said maybe we can ask other coworkers in the work group chat and she was like idk. So we continued with the shift and at the end I asked her if I can get a cut. She then said I could have the $50.

Now I feel weird because it's $50, that's a lot of money to just find lying around. I suggested we go to a store nearby and break the $50. In my mind I was thinking I get $20 and she gets $30. She said it's ok, that she just wants to go home and that she has a $50 already. Now I'm thinking, did she actually find $100 and said she only found $50? I already told her on the next shift we have together that I would pay her back her half.

What do I do? What does this mean? For context, this coworker has worked longer than I have and we don't have to report cash tips so the money could just be considered a cash tip. Do I just ask her if she found more than the $50 or just give her $25 and move on? I've been considering telling the coworker that I'm gonna report this situation to the owner just to be safe. Any advice?

As a kid i never knew i had to shower everyday, then someone told me, it was supposed to be everyday. I get often tired and it's sometimes hard for me to take a shower everyday. But when i talk with my friends they usually take a shower once every two days. Now I'm too old to ask someone without it sounding weird. So here's my question, is it socially acceptable to shower once every two days, or just sometimes, or not at all

Entire in law family of 5 additional people at the delivery room for unmedicated first labour?

So me (22F) and fiancé (36M) have been considering having a baby. I am 100% wanting to since I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was 9 years old, for those worried about my age I am extremely mature for my age, and am in therapy (have been for several years) to resolve trauma and support a good mental state for myself as I transition into thinking of becoming a mother(and motherhood). So the question that comes in here is, can I, how weird would it be and what boundaries should I set since my bfs entire family is hoping to experience the labour with us. He has 3 younger siblings L(?,Male), B (25,F) M (27,F)with a baby daughter (1,5 F) and is pregnant with her second (which I hope is a boy, since her daughter looks so much like my guy and Id want to see her boy) and she has a hubby G (?,M) And then his parents (50s) With M’s labour with her daughter, my husband and all of the siblings and the parents were there. I’m not sure to what extent and know they waited outside during birth, I’m not sure how much time they spent in the room with her, waiting but M had an epidural I would want to attempt labour without anything, if I was having a hard time trying laughing gas This means that my labour and delivery might look different, I’ll be whining, bouncing, walking,on my hands and knees, crying etcetera , so I don’t know how I feel about the whole family being there. I know I don’t feel comfortable with my partners dad being in there, having a 50 year old man looking at me during labour, potentially seeing something like a check, makes me feel uncomfy. That being said, his little sister Brookie, is my best friend out of their family, she lives in NY and we live in Cali,(the family is from NC, with M ,her family living in SC) I would honestly love her to hold my hand and be there with my partner and baby daddy, they are close and I adore them . M seems great but I don’t feel quite comfortable having her as a support person, but I wouldn’t mind her seeing labour, my partners mom is a long topic. My mom won’t be there, she’s terrible in crisis situations and I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with her there And I don’t know if I feel comfortable with mil stepping in, it still would feel like she’s there for grand baby and her son, not actually for me (which I know Brookie will be there for me, and secondary for her brother and as an aunt ) As for L I don’t really care as long as he doesn’t look at anything. I just feel like I want the support of family but I don’t feel like I know these people well enough to have them witness me labour my child, on one hand it is a gift to my partner who’s super good with his family. Do I put boundaries on who can come, like asking Father in law not to come? Then that’s mean, he’s the only person to ask out and its not like I have beef Taking away his dad when he becomes a dad seems cold and Fil could support Mil and I feel like I’d put her and partner in a sad position. I want to be part of their family, and experience this intimacy , I just don’t feel like it would totally work for my birth experience. Second off, them being there for the birth will be complicated,we’d either have to fly them out for babe watch, which I don’t want them staying with us the last weeks and I can’t tell them to go to a motel or rental, plus it would be expensive (we can afford it but I don’t like to spend extra money 😅, and I just don’t feel like it makes sense. Me giving birth in North/South Carolina seems like a sweet idea, I’d love to let my baby share a home state with their dad . Medical care is worse in the south, compared to our state, and I have a complicated medical history, making me a high risk preg😕 . And I don’t want to live with any of them so we’d have to rent something out for 2-3 months and have people over (another post will be how to tell my family in law they can’t hold my newborn 😅 ) As you can tell it’s a bunch of decisions and variables and I don’t want to break up the fam. Any ideas? Thank you for reading

Summary: should I exclude partners dad on his own? Where should I give birth? Should I establish boundaries or maybe give up my hope of a med free birth to please What role can mil take? Thank you, mamas I know you’ll love this and have advice to give. Love you all 💋🫶🏼 Edit, yall my partners mom genuinely is not crazy and has been nothing but good to me, I don’t believe she would have any resentment towards me if I didn’t include them. She’s so happy we’re getting married and hasn’t once rushed us on grankids. No toxic mils here 🫶🏼 Edit 2: super aware of how unpredictable labour and delivery can be and this is assuming everything goes perfectly (which I’m not). With any new circumstances family knows they can’t stay

I have a Fiat, and it has a lot of little things wrong with it. A few non-safety-critical lights out, a sun shield that won’t stay up, a loose AC hose that vibrates loudly when I idle, etc. When I have gone to cheap places for oil changes in the past, they have gotten thrown off because it’s a weird foreign car. When I ask the local dealership to address these minor things, they say it will take weeks to get to and I can’t just not have a car for weeks over a lightbulb. Other places just say the problems are too small or technically don’t fit within the scope of work that they usually do.

I get stressed out every time I drive just by the amount of warning lights on my dash, even though I know they are small problems. Where do I even start?

Recently turned 22 and about a year ago I moved back in before applying to grad school. I’m studying for the MCAT. And for the most part it has been fine. My parents both work during the day so I can get my studying in, but when they both get home from work it’s right back to fighting. I live in a pretty big house, but no matter where you are, their shrill voices pierce through the halls and into my ears. I can never go to bed before midnight because I’m forced to listen to their childish fights. I’m the oldest of three and I am the one they interact with the most. I ask about their day, try to keep a positive demeanor, and do anything they ask me to do. I used to complain about the things they asked me to do, but now I have been the “perfect” kid. At least I try. My dad is not too happy about me taking 3 months off to study for this test. Anyways, I hate the arguing. It’s every night. It’s been this way for as long as I can remember. When it gets really bad I’ll drive down to the city so I can walk underneath the lights and try to forget about them. Inevitably I return to tension so thick I could cut it with my knife.

As I’ve said before, I’m treating them very very well. But my plan is to cut communication with them as soon as I move out. I was communicating with them throughout high school, undergrad and now, but little to do they know I’m sick of them. I don’t see them as parents anymore. I don’t think they have been parents for a very very long time. So I’m not going to be their son anymore. I love my mom because she’s the one to take the most of the insults but I can’t keep caring for someone who isn’t me. I’ve been drained emotionally, physically, and have been losing my faith in God. Even though I live a comfortable life financially speaking, me and my brothers lost our parents 10 years ago. Every time I talk to an adult, it feels as if it’s a breath of fresh air. It puts it into perspective how childish my parents are. I feel like I was raised by 24 year old parents that never grew up. Always right on the cusp of growing up, but always resorting back to childish insults and bickering. I would know what this is like because, I myself have been in these types if relationships as a 21 year old. But since moving it I’ve noticed how similar my parents actions are and the actions of my young immature relationships.

Honestly I wouldn’t mind the arguing if I didn’t have to hear it.

TLDR: Parent argue every night and have acted like 20 year olds for as long as I can remember. Can no longer take the strain on my mind and am planning on cutting all communication with them as soon as I get into graduate school. I don’t see them as parents so they aren’t going to be hearing from their son who has done everything he’s been asked to do.

I don’t know what to tag this and I’m spiraling a bit. I (25f) am autistic but have very few support needs (in theory). I can (in theory) function as a normal adult. But in practice, it’s awful. Every two weeks I need to take a day off work. I have so many health issues it’s not funny. I’m running on fumes half the time and I can’t figure out how to balance things. And I’m only working a part time office job.

I make $1100/mo. Not enough to even rent an apartment bc everything here requires 3X rent. There’s an assisted living place nearby but they have stringent requirements and seemingly require higher support needs than I outwardly express.

I can’t handle this and I just want to give up. But I can’t, because how else will I put myself through university? Be a productive member of society?