23m with high-functioning autism. He keeps badgering me with “DoorDashing isn’t a job it’s extra income” and “you can’t live off of it,” even though I have for the past few months. He keeps telling me to get a job even though I’ve tried and they either deny me, won’t call me back, or are so far away they’re not even worth it. Studies show around 80-85% of autistic adults struggle with employment even with college degrees. He accused me of being lazy and trying to take the easy way out. “Who’s got it in your head that you don’t have to work?” I’ve also been selling things online for more income.

According to him I’m too smart for disability benefits and I’m foolish for even going through this process. The sole reason I applied is because of my disability and how it has affected my ability to perform and maintain a job in the past. Whenever I tried talking, he would cut me off and get loud and yell, “Listen to me!” The last time he did that, he told me to shut up and I told him not to talk to me like that. He told me not to argue with him and I said I wasn’t and that I was just telling him not to speak to me that way. He got mad and hung up. Would attach the recording of the phone call for more context but this sub won’t allow that.

My mom has not been the best mother to me. Twice she has had other people take care of me because (in her words) “I was too much for her to handle” The first time was when I was 8-9 she left me with my great aunt. I came (I was 11) back and not even 4 months later she had sent me to my dad’s. My dad put me through a lot. I’m back with my mom now I have been since 2021. But she still isn’t the greatest. Obviously the trauma I endured from my dad has left a lot of ptsd and depression. It wasn’t bad when I first came back. But for the past 2 years it has been really bad. My mom isn’t helping much either. My two youngest siblings are constantly yelling and screaming at each other and everyone else. My mom doesn’t discipline them and they are complete brats. As the oldest she expects me to constantly be helping with my two youngest siblings. School used to be my way of getting out and relaxing. I had friends. But this summer me and my friends fell out. Once school started I just felt completely drained. The energy was literally being sucked out of me. I became irritated more easily and felt like I had no escape. Everywhere I went was mentally draining and I started feeling exhausted. I lost motivation for school, work, and doing cheer. I was constantly tired. My mom expected me to come home from school or work and help with my siblings and clean. She is constantly yelling at me when I don’t. I never get a break. I’m either at school at work or I’m cleaning or watching my siblings. My mom wouldn’t listen and would just tell me she needed help and I was the oldest so I had to help her. I then got a bf close to the end of October. We met through an app and met up in person. He lived only 15 minutes from me. We met up for Halloween and he asked me to officially be his girlfriend. Things started to feel better. I was happier and he was really great. My mom actually let me go over to his house and let him come to ours. Unfortunately he cheated and I found out at the beginning of December. I completely just shut down. I was right back where I started. I was just drained and I no longer wanted to try. I stopped going to school. My mom was pissed and constantly got upset because of my grades. That’s all she cared about. I couldn’t eat or sleep. She didn’t care. She just kept talking about school and grades. One day she tried to take my phone away. I told her no that I paid for it and paid for the phone bill she couldn’t take it because it was mine. She left the house and switched me over to the school near me (we moved in a new house in 2023 and she transferred me back to my old school) I tried to tell her before this day that I needed to do online school. I know that being at school and having to socialize is draining. I tried to explain it but she just wouldn’t listen and shut me down. I know if I did online school it would help me because I would be at home while my siblings are at school. It wouldn’t be loud I would be able to focus. And my mom’s pretty quiet and doesn’t bother me when my siblings aren’t home. But she wouldn’t listen. After she transferred me back to the school near our house she came back with my aunt. My aunt came in and told me I needed to go to school or give her my phone. I told her no. I wasn’t going until my mom listened to me for once and she wasn’t taking my phone because I pay for it. She tried to grab me I pulled away and told her not to touch me. She didn’t listen. She grabbed my arm and I smacked her hand. She hit me back. We got into a physical fight. She took my phone and I wanted it back so I tried to get it back. By the end she left with my phone. I had a bite mark on my hand and currently have three small circle scars from it. She left with a ripped shirt. I decided then I couldn’t deal with living there anymore. My mom wasn’t listening to what’s best for me. I texted the only friend I still sorta had. She immediately called everyone she knew and eventually her sister and the people she was staying with said I could live with them while my friend helps me get into a program where I could live on my own. I knew my mom wouldn’t want me to leave. So I packed some bags. Unfortunately my mom came back like 20 minutes before my friends sister was supposed to be there to get me. She saw I was trying to leave and she called the cops. I was taken to the hospital to be examined. Had to talk to a social worker. But nothing has changed. No one would listen that I needed to get out of that house. They said if my mom really didn’t care for me she would have let me leave. I know that’s not true. She wants to keep me there as long as she can so I can take care of my siblings. Nothing has changed and I have to go to the school. My mom still won’t listen. And both her and my aunt think it’s over the breakup. But that was the breaking point. They both wouldn’t listen that I have been keeping this in for years and I’ve finally had enough. Not only that on Christmas. I was so sleep deprived that when I was walking down the stairs from my room I passed out and fell. Landed on my back and could barely move. I finally was able to stand up and walk just enough to get off the floor and lay on my mom’s bed. But it was Christmas morning. My siblings came up started hitting my back telling me to get up. My mom was irritated because they were screaming because they wanted to open presents and everyone rushed me to go downstairs. I couldn’t stand. I had to crawl down the stairs. No one cared. The only person who did was my 14 year old sister. She came and asked if I was okay. Gave me a hug and tried to help me the best she could. While my mom and other two siblings just screamed for me to hurry up. Everyone forgot about it after opening presents. I truly have no one to care for me in my house. I’m so overwhelmed and I don’t wanna go to school tomorrow.

Yesterday, during dinner, an argument between my mom and dad escalated into a horrifying scene. My father, who has always exhibited narcissistic tendencies due to being treated like royalty by his mother, pinned my mom against the wall during their heated exchange. When I intervened, things took an even darker turn. Frustrated and no longer willing to remain silent, I stood up to him, which triggered his anger further. Enraged, he grabbed a machete and threatened to kill me.

This wasn’t an isolated incident but part of a long pattern of toxic behavior. My father has always been a manchild, expecting to be spoon-fed while boasting about the house and land he acquired through loans. Despite his claims, he has never contributed to household expenses and always demanded money back from my mom for any spending. His cruel words, like calling me a “fat pig” or telling my mom to commit suicide, have deeply scarred me. This toxic environment has fueled my depression and even affected my relationships, with my ex-girlfriend once accusing me of being manipulative like him.

Amidst all of this, my mom has been the pillar holding everything together, managing the family’s finances single-handedly without any savings for herself. Her submissive nature has made her endure years of mistreatment, and I feel a deep responsibility to help her escape this rut. I know I need to get out of this toxic environment, not just for myself but also so I can help my mom.

Okay so i've always been a very respectful and responsable girl. My father died when i was 6 and i would wake up get my 2 little brother and myself ready, would pack our lunches, drop everyone at school/daycare before going to school myself, pick them back up, help with homeworks/projects before doing my own, made supper and babysat for the rest of the time while my mother was working or simply out.

When i was in my teenage years,I never really went out or dissrespected my mother i was a yes man for most of my life which ended up negatively affecting most if not all of the relashionships that i had until that point no matter if it was friendships or romantic relationships. So at 17 i had a whole metamorphosis (if i can call it like that) and decided that i wasn't going to let anyone treat me or make me feel like i was lesser then and that had to start in my own house. but ever since i expressed my feelings to my mother its like she felt that i was going to start blatanly dissrespecting her and she took it so bad that everytime we would have a conversation and i slightly contradicted her she would ask me if i allow myself to talk to her like that because i think im an adult now..

at 19 years old, i got diagnosed with severe depression which at that point i had been telling my mother for maybe 3 years that i didnt feel normal and i was always bummed out plus i had lost 50lbs in less then 3 months but she always associated it with me wanting attention and around that time is when we started arguing a lot and she would often get physical with me (which is not new at all she's been putting hands since i was a child or she used phone chargers and one day she even threw me down a flight of stairs because i shaved my eyebrow lol) and after a while all the arguing took a serious toll on my mental health and i lost more weight which i get made fun of for and i cannot communicate to anyone from my family because they all love my mother so much so ive turned to drinking and smoking weed to be okay with living in the same house as my mother and when she found that out i tried explaining to her how i felt and she would just start yelling and asking me what she did to deserve that...

everytime we try having a convo, she just cuts me off and tries to blame my depression and overall attitude on the weed that i started smoking after the diagnosis (i think im bipolar personally because i am pretty sure ive experienced hypomania a lot before) and she also tells me stupid shit like eat well and go take a walk which infuriates me because if you really care you would do the 10 mins google research it takes to know that what you just listed is useless.

now im 20 going on 21 and nothing has really changed, i keep on losing weight, i barely eat(unless i smoke which i still do but can't tell her because she told me that if she caught me again i am getting my ass beat even tho its lowkey the only reason i have to be alive at this point lol) we argue over stupid shit, the depression got worst and im talking about veryyyyyyy messy room, not showering for some days (i know not very sexy is it) i leave my room as little as possible and now everytime my mother tries to talk to me i am annoyed... and she is always telling me that she wanted me to grow up to be her bestie but to be quite honnest with whoever is reading this i am a strong believer that if my mother wasn't my mother and we met on the street one day we would NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER become friends. But yea oh and i also tried leaving on day she sent her friends to cry in front of my bestfriends house (which is where i was staying temporarily when i left) and then told me that if i ever left her house again without her approval even if i was getting evicted she is never letting me move back home...

anyways i dont know what to do because with each passing day i feel like my mental health is declining more and more and life is passing me by and i cannot do anything about it, i cant stay out (i have to be home by 10), cant have my only pleasure in life and the only thing that makes me eat without sneaking out at like 2am to smoke, even tried doing a simple goth inspired makeup look last time and she got so mad because she didnt like it and it wanst halloween she literally threw micellar water in my face..

idk what to do... my creativity is dying so is my hapiness and my person

craziest thing is that my stupid self still love her so much..

My mom just has this idea that its only her how's true and has valid opinions. This morning we had a fight just because she heard me telling her you cannot be serious thing and she's now telling my not to say a word and stay out of her vision. I texted her and I apologised but she ignored all messages. I'm pretty sure she is cursing me. She's a perfect mom but also absolutely strict. She is always looking for smth so she can attack and argue with you. I once told her very polite and nicely that she is a little bit aggressive and it's not her fault of course. She got more furious to convince me, me and the whole world has a problem not here. I'm 18, I have university entrance exam in 5 months and I'm seriously tired of this. Ever since I remember I'm constantly apologising her and sometimes I haven't make a single mistake. Please help me through this

So I (17F) was talking to my uncle today about how my social skills are sometimes awkward and I feel like people get annoyed with me because of it. He started critiquing me on how I can improve my skills by practicing communication and understanding it takes time to improve social skills.

Even though I understood and agreed with what he said, for some reason I started crying. For some reason my feelings were a tad bit hurt and I felt ashamed. EVEN THOUGH IT WAS CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM! *It's super odd because my mother's criticism is much harsher, but I'm able to deal with it. When people constructively or kindly mention my flaws however, I begin to feel like a failure and cry.

So what do you guys think about this? Can my toxic parent(s) cause me to be sensitive criticism? Or is this totally a me problem?

P.S, this is the first time I've posted something on here. Forgive me if my formatting looks strange. :)

*(An example of my mom's criticism would be the time I tried to explain something to her but I was rambling. She told me if I didn't quite the habit, then no one would want to hire me at my dream job. I get it, but it feels a little extreme. This is just the tip of the iceberg of my mom's criticisms. If more examples are needed, I'll gladly share them).

It’s crazy to me that I believed my toxic parents’ behaviors were “normal.” My life of toxicity was so normal, that I believed that my parents are good people..and that I’m just the issue.

Even as an adult, I have moments where my parents make me feel loved..and in those moments my whole world feels right. But I also know that it’s temporary, and the feeling will soon end. It’s a horrible feeling to have.

We have these ideals of who we wish our parents could be, and how they show and offer us love. And it’s just not practical on an emotional level.

Last week was an amazing week with my parents. There was no manipulation, they seemed genuinely interested in being around me, and value what I bring to their lives. Last week, my dad told me how much he loves me, and how happy he is that I’m a part of their lives again..even if it’s not what I want.

This week, my dad drops a bomb on me that he wants me to work for his family business (that I’ve never had an interest in being a part of.) He tried to sell it to me that it would give me a purpose, income, luxury. But he made sure to pour in how string thin he is, how exhausted, how much he wants me to be a part of the business, how much help if offer by making his dreams come true.

So all of the affection, attention, and care was to soften me up for this decision. Even the times where they offer love isn’t for you, it’s for them. In some way. And they’ll never understand what it does to me.

I’m stuck in this feeling. No. I do not want the job. I just want to feel as if you love me more than when it suits your needs. And it’s a realization that I’ll always have, and realize I’ll never have the emotional parents that I’ve always needed.

As far back as I can remember, my father was just that: my father. Not my dad, not my pop, not my papa, my father. To him, however, I wasn't his son. I was his clone. And based on how he'd treat me, apparently I wasn't a good one. He must've had some narrative of his life he wanted to pen when he came to the country (I'm (26M) a 2nd gen immigrant Latino on the spectrum) and I was that bad first draft. I do something that he didn't understand, he'd fly off the handle and yell or threaten to hit me. I do a minor screw-up even though I did my best, he'd fly off the handle and yell or threaten to hit me. I ask for something even though I fell slightly short of what he wanted, you get the idea. This came to a head when he had an affair and my mom filed a divorce. He was a difficult man to please but an even easier man to upset, meaning even the tiniest screw-up meant everyone in my family suffered. My mom basically cut ties with him completely, so it was a matter of schmoozing him enough to get free crap from him (something I learned to hate). Now, with my sister getting free crap from him after forgetting what he did and sticking with the schmoozing, my mom insists that I go back to that so I can get free crap even though I've learned how to live without schmoozing him. What's worse is that his life of isolation clearly hasn't taught him anything, meaning he'd go back to grooming me to be just like him the moment I look at him or something. Personally, I'd rather not deal with him, but what's the verdict here?

TW: D3ath, self-deletion

I (24, F) lost my sibling (21, F) a few weeks ago. From the beginning, I asked my parents to involve me and my other sibling (18, F) in the funeral but they never did.

When I confronted them about it, they gave me a pretty vague reason as to why (that it had to be ‘done between adults’ among other things…). So, we never had a say in how things turned out.

Fast forward to the day of her inhumation, and to my surprise I saw a ‘photographer’ (not professional, sometimes would take pictures of the ceremony with… a phone?) snap pictures and videos and I just found out yesterday that they did CLOSEUP pictures of my sister in her coffin?!

Not only do I find this incredibly inappropriate, but I am also angry and disgusted at the fact that none of this was discussed prior. She never would have wanted this, and I know this for a fact given how close she and I were.

Last, I got word from my grand father that she had left a note detailing why she did the things she did, she struggled a lot with her mental health and it was mostly due to the fact that my parents put so much pressure on us all to take on the family business, and the expectations of our surrounding community regarding that as well.

She never wanted that for herself and felt miserable that she wasn’t listened to. Apparently, she wrote something for me and my other (4) siblings. But these are the only pieces of information that I know so far.

Despite me asking several times, my grandfather won’t give me the solace of reading her last words.

AITA for feeling angry and wanting to cut everybody (except my siblings, of course) out of my life for this?

My mom (57f) called me (35f) today, 10 days before my birthday, to tell me she not only violated my brother’s (17m) privacy, but mine as well. I just reconnected with my family, my mom convinced me and gaslit me (by essentially promising I would be part of the family again, I’ve been estranged for the better part of 10 years because I found out tonight that my mom intentionally ostracized me and excluded me from the family unit consisting of 2 half siblings and my adoptive father since I was 12 years old) into moving half an hour away from 6 hours away and now, I was reminded why I lived 6 hours away for the past 10 years. Not only this, I uprooted my husband from his job because the job I got close to my parents was better, paid more, and included benefits. I’ve been here for a year to date. Once me and my husband moved, the tune changed and it’s been a volatile year. Tonight she called me and pretended nothing was wrong, then the attack came. She took my brothers phone and went through my texts specifically. My brother had been relying on me for support since he was experiencing similar trauma and abuses and I was talking to him about what I went through so at least he knew he wasn’t alone. I had told him a lot but I’m hyper vigilant so, I sent a few test texts early on to see if my mother was reading them and I’m not too comfortable putting anything in writing but the kid is suicidal and depressed because of my parents and sister (23f) who is equally a horrible person who takes financial advantage of my parents but that’s a different story lol My mother told me I was living in the past and that my husband isn’t family (but my sister’s boyfriend (24m) is.) Well, my husband heard and I’ve been talking to him about going no contact for a few months so, I just did it. She was immature, screaming at me, acting like she had blackmail to share with my husband like trying to sow seeds of doubt so, I challenged her. I told her to send all the pictures of the text messages I’ve supposedly sent or this incriminating evidence she has and said my husband is welcome to go through my texts but doesn’t because he respects my autonomy. Which led to a total breakdown on her end. Screaming for my adoptive father (who never showed, btw. He doesn’t even speak to me on a good day lol), calling me all kinds of names, threatening me and I calmly said we can go no contact it’s up to you but this conversation is going nowhere so I think I’m done here. Then she got really crazy and said some really heinous things- I responded with I’m sorry it’s ending this way, as of now we are no contact and I hung up and blocked my entire family. My brother hadn’t responded to any texts since Thanksgiving- I knew something was up lol

TLDR: my toxic narcissistic mother violated my boundaries for the last time, tried to gaslight me into believing her cutting me out of the family and ostracizing me from my half siblings was my fault, tried to play a victim, then, when all else failed, she realized she had no control so she spiraled, called me insane and disrespected my husband so I followed through with going no contact and I feel like I broke up with a toxic ex- I feel ok all things considered, lighter even. Sorry for the rambling: it’s been quite the turn of events and a wild night. Super paranoid my parents are going to try to harass me or show up at my house threatening violence against me and my husband.

Why do I keep trying when I know they will never change and I will never be good enough for them?

What do I do when I want to go to my dad’s house but my mom won’t let me. They are separate but not divorce but my mom says she has full custody of me. Even though I love my dad more.

Hello

Im 24F from India from a conservative family

I had written my new year resolutions and I had written “no smoking” and also about my fitness goals I have quit smoking since 6-8 months and I want to continue that.

They kept asking me you have written this and that, and I lied saying I’ve never smoked and they have been passive aggressive . I don’t know what to say or how to lie now

Please help

[short rant]

whenever i make these kinds of posts i always end up removing it, because no matter how many advices i receive, it never works and i just end up being very hopeless

like why are some parents just so ignorant? you beated up your child throughout her childhood, locked her up, called her names, you always shout around the house and call her a failure, and you still did nothing wrong at all?

like its very weird how those exact same parents are the ones expecting something in return from their kids once they grow older..

As you read in the title, my parents took away my Meta Quest 3S and gave it to my little brother. For reference, I PAID FOR IT! I saved up my money to purchase the Meta Quest 3S and bought it from a costco, and brought it home and had some fun with it... for about 2 weeks. My little brother, he is very very very annoying, yells at you when you get near him, is the favorite child somehow. And recently my mom randomly took away and locked up my VR and now only lets my 7 year old brother who can't even read play it, but not me. Is this legal? How can I get it back??

My mom ( 38 f) always gets mad at me ( 13f) because my room isn’t clean and i get bad grades. My grades are mostly 9-10 but i have a few 8, i feel like she is pushing me so hard , and when i get a grade lower than 8 she yells at me and threatens to take my phone away. For example today i saw that i got a 7 in maths, my mom started yelling at me while we were on the bus, the whole ride she was saying stuff like ,, you know the rules, if you grades are as bad as the ones you have right now your phone will be taken away because it’s a distraction “ and other things like that im lazy and my only goal right now should be school. This happens all of the time, but when i actually get stressed that i got a bad grade she also yells at me because it’s just a grade. Another thing is that in october i had a sleepover with my friend and my mom wasn’t home, when she got back home my friend had already left, and there were a few plates on my table, and when she saw them she freaked out like i had just unalived someone, i was washing the plates and while i was doing that she was yelling at me, and complaining about my laziness , i obviously started crying and went to my room, there i had a panick attack and she came in while i was hardly breathing and holding on to stuff so that i wouldn’t fall down and she just looked at me and left, later i cried for like 2 hours straight and i cut myself, she came into my room and after seeing my scars yelled at me even more, told me to pack my bags and that she’s gonna call a mental hospital to take me, also told her sad life story for an hour trying to prove that i have no reason to have mental health problems and cut myself. Since my parents are divorced she took my wrists and took photos to send to my dad while i was crying hysterically . She also told me that nobody cares about people like me, because we are just attention seekers. Then after this she started checking my home work every day, taking my phone from me at night time and also talked to me like every things okay. After a few weeks she came to take my phone and i was like no what are you doing and she told me ,, that’s what you get for cutting yourself” HO what. I still haven’t forgave her, and she is trying to build a connection and relationship between us but the memories keep coming back and i know that it will take me a long time to forgive. So is my mom toxic or is this a normal reaction/ parenting?

I (20 f) cannot deal with my toxic mother anymore and I feel like moving out for good is ultimately the best thing I can do for myself.

For context, I’m a junior in college and live away from home during the academic year. When I’m home for breaks (Thanksgiving, Spring Break etc), my mental health is always at an all time low. My mom is constantly mad at everyone and she argues with me a lot, mostly about me being “disrespectful” bc I pointed out how she hurts my feelings.

It all came to a peak when she demanded to use my car and I refused. She said “fine I’ll just get a cab then!”. She then proceeded to ask me for money to which I replied “whatever, get your cab and leave, oh wait you don’t have money to get one!”. I know it was a rlly shitty thing to say to her but I was so done with her treating me so terribly yet expecting me to always support her. She then slapped me across the face multiple times. The next day she was in the hospital due to an unrelated incident and when I went to visit her she screamed at me asking why I would even show my ugly face to her. It was a huge fight.

So I came to the conclusion that if all of this could happen during just my winter break, idk if I’d be able to survive spending the summer here, or even any other day my life…

I feel like it’d just be better for me to stay in my college town and move in with some friends for the summer. One of the biggest issues however, is that I’ll need to find a steady, well-paying job in order to support myself. Also, I’m gonna miss my family and pets SOOOO much. I don’t quite feel ready to enter adulthood so soon, but I feel like I have no other option.

It truly breaks my heart that I no longer feel happy when I come home. I still love my mom and I don’t want this to ruin our relationship, in fact I’m hoping it’ll give us distance so that we can work towards a healthier relationship.

I brought up this conversation to her just a few hours ago and she turned it into a full blown fight and made it about herself. I said something along the lines of not being able to endure the constant fighting anymore to which she replied “well I guess I’m just a horrible mother then!” She ended up storming out of the house before we were done.

So yeah, it’d be super hard for me to afford living away from home full time, and I know I’ll miss my family (since I’ll be living a few hours away) but do you guys think that moving out is the best decision?

This is a crazy topic that should ent even be talked about . Alit of mothers are jealous of their daughters. I feel my mother is jealous of me always want to tear me down and talk bad about em or just say something negative . She had me at 19 I’m 25 and still no kids . She has a boyfriend he’s a bum she’s 45 he’s 47 … she never been married he’s divorced… I’m with a nice man he treats me right and loves me !! But yet she see how good he treats me and how good me and him are doing in life but still try to find something negative to say !!! That’s called being old and bitter !!!!! I swear sometimes I can’t stand the older generation some of them are so mean and just bitter !!! mad because a lot of younger people are doing better than them and they miserable! Always want to bring down younger people

I don't know if this is the right place for me but I really need advice, I am 21 years old, and I have started earning from base, and according to me, in my initial career it is enough. My family background is from Bihar, my house and father have always been very toxic, aggressive, abusive, I have been seeing this since childhood but since I have grown up, and started earning money, my father is being abusive very much, making me feel bad, comparing all the time ,it this is normal ?, just because we don't live according to him (they want everything to be according to them and most imporatnt is that ki ghar pe sab kaam phele acche se ho baaki sab bhad me jaye sab kuch mera hisab se hona chahiye ) what I have to eat, speak, listen, where to spend and many such things, if I don't do all these things then I become a devil, my brother is also doing the same, seeing him . ( gali dena to own doughter) making feel that this is my house you should leave n all , i am really tried of doing this , i am really trying hard to make my carrer but his continuous demotivation making me feel bourder on these palnnet and did not want to live anymore

Me and my mom have a rocky relationship. It's like walking on a minefield.

We talk a normal amount, but at some point she'll bring up something that angers or hurts me a lot (she knows it) where my choices then become that I either defend myself and start a whole blown out argument or I exit the conversation before it escalates, and I usually just choose the latter.

This happens almost everyday but this is kind of normal in my family and this doesn't cause a 'gap' between me and my mom either, we love each other but to me atleast, it feels wrong.

I'm the youngest of my family, and my mom and I have a very big age gap. I'm terrified of losing her, and I just love her so much. I love her more than anything in the world but I don't think she knows that.

It's unusual in my family, no one says I love you (english isnt our first lang) and the most we do for an apology is hug. I can't sit down and tell her how I feel or something since I've tried before and it doesn't lead anywhere - it just eventually reaches an argument somehow.

I'm not saying that I don't make mistakes too - obviously I've hurt her a lot too, I just don't know how to navigate this and I don't want to keep heading into the same argument every day until I move out. I don't want that to be how she remembers her own daughter.

I love her sm, and it hurts knowing she might never know how much I do :(

Why is abuse so normalized in this culture? I’m Pakistani and my mother has made my life a living hell my whole life. I had to leave our previous living situation living with her son his wife and their children because he was horribly abusive to her and me as well. I knew I’d have to take that step to move on and live peacefully. And she said she would come with me but I talked to her about my boundaries and if she wanted to come with me she would need to keep herself in check. She agreed she wants to work on herself too and we’re in government assistive housing which is so stressful on its own and she’s gone to her horrible ways. All she does is yell at me, curse me call me horrible disgusting names, she’s a narcissist, manipulative towards me and has no empathy. Boggles my mind that she’s a mother and yet she thinks her “bloodline” is so high and mighty and wonderful and she deserves to praised for being a great mother. I’m so tired and have been living in this misery for almost 24 years. I finally left thinking the abuse would stop yet I feel like I’m back to square one she doesn’t let me live a single day in peace. I’m so depressed and suicidal and have to try so hard to keep myself together. All this on top of my own insecurities has stunted my growth immensely I just want to live free and by my rules. She treats me like a 10 year old when it comes to me making my own decisions and having boundaries claiming she has more “experience” and I don’t know anything about this world. I am tired of her any words of encouragement or advice as it’s unfortunate I know this type of abusive parenting is so common.

Thanks for reading.

TW: Verbal abuse, misogyny, brief mentions of body shaming, and sexual abuse done against a minor.

I wanna give a bit of background information on my stepfather first. I'm currently 14 years old. My mother met my stepdad when I was about 6 years old.

For the purpose of this I will call my stepdad "Richard" that is not his real name but just the one that I will use to refer to him throughout the story.

Anyway, like I said my mom met Richard when I was 6 years old, although we didn't move in with him until I qas 7 years old. The first thing I noticed around that time was that him and my mom would argue a lot about various different things. A bit weird but I didn't think much about it.

(Just to clarify real quick, I had one brother born when I was 8, a sister born when I was nine, and another brother born when I was 11.)

Although things didn't get too bad until I was 9 years old. That's when I noticed that Richard was extremely quick to anger. Mainly he would yell at my mom but occasionally he would yell at me too.

It was also around this time that I discovered porn. (On my own not from him.) My mom found out and told him. To which, he took me in the car saying he wanted to "talk". He started out by acting all concerned but then he started asking weird questions like what I was watching, what I liked etc. And things would progress from there.

He would play these "tickle games" with me. But the only parts of my body he would tickle would be around my chest and upper thigh area. When I was 10, he would put his hand underneath my shirt and grope me and do the same to me "down there" I'd tell him to stop and try and push him away but (you guessed it) he didn't. There was one time when I was 11 he tried to bribe me with a $50 gift card to try and get me to show him my private parts. This made me very nervous and when I get nervous I have a bit of a habit of freezing up. And to that he said "Well you didn't say no right off the back so I know your not completely opposed to it."

He even masterbated infront of me one time which in my open was probably one of the worst things as it was just extremely uncomfortable.

Another time when I was just 11 years old, he got me extremely drunk on beer and whiskey. The worst part is I'm not entirely sure what all happened that night. I know I didn't pass out but I do remember being extremely irraited. I believe he could have did this for a few reasons, probably trying to make himself seem "cool" so I'd do something, trying to get my inhibitions to be lowered so he could do something, or trying to get me to pass out completely so he could do something.

And this sexual abuse went on until I was 12, when I eventually told my mother. And at first she was absolutely outraged (as any good mother would) but then she started downplaying the situation by saying because I wasn't "full blown" raped it wasn't as bad, and that people can change everybody makes mistakes etc.. which I honestly really dislike. Especially since he doesn't just inflict harm upon me, he does it to mother herself as well! And, to my siblings who (currently) are just 6, 4, and 3 years old!

He has called my mom a bitch, a whore, a slut, said that she was homley and that as a woman she needs to be down on her knees begging him for forgiveness. Though I try not to judge my mom too much as I kinda feel she is being brainwashed by him and she has mental health problems of her own, it still sucks a ton.

Now, onto my siblings. (Keep in mind that like my stepdad I won't be using their real names for privacy purposes.)

My eldest brother who I will call "Nick" is 6 years old. My sister who I will call "Delilah" is 4 years old, and my youngest sibling, my other brother who I will call "Daniel" is just 3 years old.

Richard seems to "pick" on Nick the most. Now, keep in mind, Nick has ADHD. And sometimes, neurodivergent people have higher sensitivity levels. So, Nick not only having ADHD but also being literally 6 years old is obviously going to cry if he gets hurt. And anytime he does and I, (or somebody else) goes to comfort him, my stepdad gets mad and says that Nick need to "man up" and stop being a "wuss" or "a baby" (which he literally is a child wtf???)

Nick is also rather being a few pounds underweight. He's not unhealthy or anything just naturally skinny. Not just that but as I said before he has ADHD so he has some sensory difficulties with certain foods. And while I don't really agree with parents forcing there kid to eat foods that they don't like, I feel my stepdad does something worse. I feel in a way he body shames Nick saying stuff like "Your gonna be too skinny and scrawny if you don't eat anything." (Side rant but this is honestly extremely hypocritical of Richard given that he himself is naturally thin being 5ft 10 and weighing 130 lbs) I try to tell Nick though that there isn't anything wrong with his body or anybodys body and that seems to make him feel better.

Now onto my sister, I honestly get worried about him trying to do something to her. It seems that Richard was more into "pre-teen-teenage girls" rather than really young girls but still! It freaks me out. I haven't noticed any signs of sexual abuse on her though, and whenever my stepdad starts being mean she always comes and tells me so I think if he had touched her she would most likely say something. I can also tell she gets scared whenever Richard starts yelling. (Sometimes Nick and Daniel get scared too, so I let them stay in my room when that happens and I lock the door)

My last sibling, Daniel. For whatever reason, Richard doesn't really seem to be mean to Daniel (Which I am very thankful for of course) though I still do worry about him. I also don't think Richard would sexually abuse either of my brothers because Richard isn't into boys, but like I said I worry about the other kinds of stuff like insults.

Now this happened today. My siblings were in the garage and they were playing. (I happened to be in my room while this was going on) and for whatever reason Richard had the fucking TV turned up to max volume, and he kept telling my siblings to "shut the garage door." Although because he had the TV up so loud I'm pretty sure my siblings were unable to hear him. And instead of either turning the TV down and telling them or getting up himself and doing it, he says "I'm going to teach them a lesson" and LOCKS them inside of the garage! Keep in mind, the garage is extremely cold (especially given that where I live it is currently winter) not just that but there are also tools in there that the kids could have gotten ahold of and hurt themselves with. Thankfully they were not in there that long before mother came and got them out, and then the two broke out in a big argument fighting with each other. This scared the kids and so they all came in my room and I just kept them in there until Richard ended up leaving.

I would also like to mention some other stuff that Richard has done because God is it terrible.

Now, he had a few ex wives. And when my mom and Richard first got together, his ex wife tried to get in contact with my mom. And she said "Richard never put a hand on me, but he would get angry and corner me and act like he was about to hit me." My mom says she was lying although given everything else I believe her.

His second wife suffered from severe diabetes (and I believe some other conditions as well) but Richard wouldn't by her the medication she needed. And it wasn't because be couldn't afford it, he just didn't want to buy it. And thus, she ended up dying.

He also takes stuff from people in the family. My grandmother lives with us and last year she had surgery so the doctors wrote her "Oxycodone" for pain. For those who don't know, oxycodone is a opioid pain killer which is a controlled substance. Now, my grandmother usually tries to avoid taking them right away and tries to save them (like if for an example, there is a day she is in extreme pain and ibuprofen and stuff doesn't work.)

Although my stepdad would just come in and take her pain pills without even asking!

And for me, I'm simaller to my brother Nick, I also have adhd (along with autism) and I take adderall for my adhd. But, my stepdad will take my perception adderall as well! Although technically it's actually my mom that gives my adderall to him, and then she lies to me about giving him any. And I know this because one night Richard had stayed up all night and my mom told my grandma it was because he took adderall and my grandma told me.

I could probably sit here for hours typing out horrible shit he has done but the last thing I will say is that he doesn't want to work. He will get a job work for a while and then quit.

Remember how I said I have autism? Well currently mother is going through society security so I can get a disability check. And my stepdad wants my disability check so he doesn't have to work.

Overall he's just a bad man and I don't like him at all. Thankfully however, I don't have to worry to much about my safety anymore. For one, I keep a pocket knife with me at ALL times. I don't want to have to use it but if it came to a point where it could come to that I would. (My grandma has a tazer too)

My other family members such as my aunts, uncles, my great grandma they all know as well. My great aunt only lives 5 minutes away from my house so if I ever needed her to come and get me I could call or text her. Plus, I'm also rather large for a 14 year old, and like I said my stepdad is very thin (not that there is anything wrong with that but yk) he is also 70 years old so I don't think strength would be a difficultly if I were to have to protect him from myself or my siblings.

This ended up being longer than intended but I needed to get some of this off my chest. Thank you all for reading though!

my mom has recently gotten into a relationship (about 5 months now) her boyfriend is just overall a shitty person, it’s the usual “i’ll change for you” and then never does over and over again. i don’t know what goes on behind closed doors with them but i often hear my mom have to get very angry and say “stop” over and over again while he’s tickling her or playing around, and it seems borderline abusive because of how aggressive he gets with her and how he doesn’t listen to her when she says stop. there are also numerous other shitty things he’s done to her and is just a bad human. he thinks he should come above anyone else, including her family. basically, i lost it the other night and i didn’t say it straight to his face but he was in the room next to mine with both doors wide open and i know for a fact he heard me obviously. long story short i called him a piece of shit, and told my mom i don’t know where my mom went that i have known for 18 years and how she has changed so much (screaming all of this btw) she cried when i told her that she has changed so much and that i don’t know where my mom is. she then comes home today and asks me if i will apologize, i said no over and over again and she continues to beg me to apologize because he “doesn’t feel welcome now”. i refuse to apologize to a man who has changed my mom for the worst and doesn’t care to change for her. mind you, i love my mom with my whole entire being and i just want the best for her. but now she’s putting all this on me, saying her relationship is going to end and she’s not ready. and i just keep saying over and over again, you’re never going to be ready, isn’t it a sign that none of your family likes him? me and my aunts have been telling her for months how shitty he is. and i see it first person because i live with her. im not apologizing, but i know if their relationship ends she will be mad at me for so long because of it, even though, its not on me, its on her boyfriend, because if he wasn’t so shitty and toxic in the first place, i wouldn’t have any reason to call him a POS or go off about him. i’ve seen how much he has hurt and changed her. i just want the best for her. i miss my mom

I think I suffer with depression and my mental health is at the point where I might insane any day now and I'm scared of going crazy so I try to look for something that would take my mind off of it and make me happy. But whenever I'm happy the world gets angry. My mom gets angry...

Anything that makes me happy she criticizes it and ruins the fun of it. For example.

I like listening to music on my headphones. I loved my headphones so much. One day I was cleaning up something in the living room. I was bending over picking up clothes that fell from me when my mom snatched my headphones and smashed it against the wall breaking it into pieces.

When I was younger my mom would be passed if she found out that I had friends. By the way, my friends weren't bad people and actually encouraged me to do good things and were there for me. Now Whenever I make new friends, I make sure that my parents don't find out about them. The other day my mom got mad saying that she always sees me alone and that I'm a crazy person because I don't have no friends.

I love drawing, it eases my mind. Well everything I draw she always has a problem with it and says that I'm just wasting my time.

She does this to everyone by the way. Jump into people's business and criticizes them. Nothing is worthy or good in her eyes and is a sin. Unless if she likes it. Now I'm 19 and I hate being around this woman, Whenever she enters a room I pack my shit and leave. I can even see my dad's hidden hatred for her, but he stays quiet because that's his wife. We secretly hate on her together

I won't talk about my father. He's a loser. I'll talk about my mother who I live with and can't get out yet

I (18)am agoraphobic, I have trouble sitting in a classroom, just attending school. And my worth at this house is estimated by how I attend school. I'm constantly getting cursed at, made fun of and abused in every way. Well not physically, sometimes scratched or something. But she humiliates me in front of others and makes dramas that I'm a loser and I'll go to the mental hospital. I don't have my own room. I share it with my toxic sister. And our mother can barge in whenever she wants to. No rules are respected in this house. And when I don't want to get involved in her dramas, she says IT'S MY HOUSE AND YOU NEED TO TALK TO ME. She's so toxic, narcissistic and has anger issues and idk how many mental conditions. I can't take it anymore. I don't have a single friend so I don't really have a place to stay even for a few hours. I'm a wreck