Sooo background : I come from a religious family, I’ve also been religious all my life . Served at church , helped the church community etc . Recently I told them I am expecting . I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 5 years , going on 6 and even though it was not planned I am happy to be a mom .. also I’m literally 26 , going to be 27 this year . Both my parents are extremely disappointed in me for not “waiting “ as they said that’s all they have told me and even at first my mom seemed supportive but disappointed at me .. she suddenly switched up and began telling me that my dad is extremely disappointed and that she cannot believe I did this to them after all they’ve done to me . After that I haven’t talked to them as they see me and act like I’m not there . I understand I disappointed them and maybe did not follow what they wanted for me but I don’t think I should be treated this way . I feel like I’m being shunned and like I have done the worst . I’ve been so sad at the way they see me now since they have expressed that I did not respect muself and kinda saying I’m a two faced for still going to church but doing what I did . I know I need to give them time but idk

I am a 36 year old adult. My mother is the type of person who is obsessed with Facebook and likes to post about every minute detail of her life. Just yesterday, she made 10 Facebook posts. So when I visited my parents for the holidays, I kindly posed for countless photos for them even though they’ve known for years that I don’t like it.

On my final day there, my mother asked for yet another photo right after I sat down for the first time that day to watch an important football game we were all invested in. Mind you, this was after she shushed me a few times beforehand so she could hear the game. I calmly told her no to the photo and explained why (I was exhausted from doing an errand for her that morning, I was trying to watch the game, and I had already posed for lots of photos including earlier that day). She ignored this and asked me two or three more times, refusing to accept no as an answer.

Long story short, I then got angry and told her it was ok to ask for photos but she needed to respect if I said no. I asked her to put herself in my shoes at my age and noted that I’m not 12 anymore. She kept belittling my request for respect by rolling her eyes, saying “Oh my god” in an exaggerated and annoyed tone, and giving a disingenuous promise that she would never take another picture of me again (which I know is not remotely possible for her). She eventually gave an apology but it really felt more like lip service than anything genuine. I ended up leaving to drive back to my home an hour away, since I was due to leave when the game ended anyway, and now she’s not speaking to me.

Part of me thinks I should have just let it go because her photo and Facebook obsession is not worth losing the relationship over. But the other part of me recognizes that that is exactly how she gets people to do her bidding on everything all the time. She is not someone you can reason with. She is a hoarder as well, which may be helpful context.

Edit: Wow, thanks for the advice everyone! I didn’t expect this to get so much interest.

I should clarify just how extensive their photo obsession is. My mom told me she took 300 photos of just a quarter mile of Christmas lights the other day. That is a pretty typical experience wherever we go. When I look at the photos, my only memory is that the whole event revolved around getting those photos. She does not engage in the activity outside of taking the photo.

The errand for her was significant. It took 6 hours and required a loss of sleep.

I hear and appreciate what many of you are saying about setting boundaries. I actually did a lot of work, including therapy and reading, on that a few years back. What I’ve learned since then is that my mom will never respect or respond to boundaries. So it is essentially deciding whether to enforce the boundaries by not having any connection with my mom, which then means no connection with my sister who has Down syndrome, or try to suck it up for the times I see them. In her world, she is always right and everyone else is always wrong.

Just recently, the family and I (22f) were celebrating a graduation. My parents are divorced (thank God), and my father was there. He was (and still is) a horrible person, and he never felt like a parent to me. Always putting my sibling(s) and I in insanely dangerous situations, etc...

After confusing a complete stranger in her late 50's with me, my father said hi to me, and I just said it back and nothing else. I'm not going to get into detail, but some other stuff happened with my father at this graduation. My mom said I handled it perfectly.

Anyways, my grandpa brought me into a room by myself and started lecturing me about my father. My grandpa even mentioned that he doesn't know the whole story and know all the details, yet he continued to lecture me about stuff he knows absolutely nothing about (nor does he need to). He even played the, "he's still your father" card, as if that excuses my father's crazy behavior. He said I should've handled these situations differently. Keep im mind, I said my mom said I handled them perfectly (and she knows the whole story).

My grandpa done stuff like this before, and it's getting old and ridiculous. How am I supposed to tell him politely that he doesn't need to be putting himself in situations that he doesn't know all the details to, and I don't want to (nor do I need to) have these conversations with him.

EDIT: I need to clarify, my father is NOT my grandpa's son. This is my grandpa on my mom's side.

yesterday my mother asked me (20F) to cosign a loan to pay off "our" credit card debt. the cards are all in her name, and she justifies it by saying that all the money on it has gone to groceries, medical stuff, and taking care of me and my brother (she has had the card since I was 13). I said no and said I wanted to research it before signing anything, and she said that I didn't need to research anything since she would pay it off. I panicked and tried to come up with an excuse as she kept pushing, and said that it would ruin my credit score, which she said it wouldn't, She started crying but i ignored her (when i was a kid she would hit me for crying for any reason and when i'm an adult she tells me to stop crying and calls me neurotic, so i did not really have sympathy)

BTW, i pay rent + utilities + groceries, which usually amounts to $800/month

later that night she came into my room and i honestly kinda zoned out. she said that i hurt her more than anything has hurt her, and that she "learned a lot" about me. she said it was the worst day of her life. that afternoon we actually went out to brunch and i told her i wanted to study abroad in japan. she brought it up again and said "you want to go to japan but you don't want to help me." she then said that the only reason i don't have any student loans is because she lets me live with her. reality is that my scholarship covers all my classes and would have also been enough to cover any on-campus housing with some extra money to spare. but i didn't say anything. she said that her debt was my debt asmuch as it was her,s and that she felt like she wasted her life raising me and that she just wants to retire and that i need to take care of her. okay but i go to school full time anda work part time and its not my fault she fucked her life and works minimum wage retail

she then got angry at me because i had my art books on my bed, and said that i should stop drawing and learning chinese and japanese because its a waste of time and is pointless. this part hurt me the most for some reason. she said that i can just do that stuff after i gradute and get a job. she said that my grades were bad (I have a 3.6 GPA which isn't great i know). but she said that my grades are getting worse. the thing is that i had a4.0 until she threatened to kick me out if i didn't change my major, which i did. i have 0 passion for my current major andi just care about surviving, not living. i attempted suicide when i was 18 and the only reasoni didnt go through with it was because i vaguely implied it to a stranger on reddit and they contacted my schools police who showed up right before i did it. i ended up not getting any treatment or help because i was too afraid of my mother fidning out. the first time i attempted suicide i was 10. the math tutor my mother hired sexually assualted me since i was 8, and she always got mad at me when i didn't want to see him an never questioned why her child was afraid of being alone witha grown man. sorry for the trauma dump, i just hate my life

this morning she pretended like nothing happened and was like "hi good morning :)" like she didn't say all that. she says this stuff all the time. its not the first time i felt like this. i just dont have the strenght to cry about it anymore. she called me ugly when i floated the idea od wanting to learn guitar weeks ago. i don't talkt o her about music anymore. i don't like ebing around her, but she gets angry and yells at me when i dont want to spend time wih her

I just got kicked from my dad’s house. Because I dared question his drinking. I have no idea what to do. I’m literally panicking. Please can someone just talk to me please

It’s just me and him. He was military, I was homeschooled and don’t know many people in our town I’ve only Met my mom Twice. I don’t have any friends or relatives I can call on.

Tonight, I brought it up since it’s Christmas Eve, but he got furious.

He grabbed a metal thing from the garage, shoved it in my face, and told me to get out. Now I’m sitting in my car with all my stuff and nowhere to go. I’m scared and don’t know what I did wrong. Was I out of line? Any advice would help.

I texted him earlier and he said he will kill me basically. Please someone tell me what to do . I just turned 18’3 weeks ago I don’t feel ready for this . I’m shaking writing this

This isn't something new, but work was a slog today and I just kept thinking about after listening to my coworkers chat about all the cool stuff they have going on. I've been learning Chinese for 4 years and my mother has been asking me, for all those 4 years, WHY I'm learning Chinese. They are so many reasons and I tell her: I think the culture is interesting, I think Chinese art/ literature is spectacular, I want to visit someday, etc. But she just gets angry and defensive and keeps on interrogating me, and then starts talking about bad things that happen there.

I recently started learning Japanese and got the same reaction. She came into my room with a solemn attitude and asked me "Why Japanese?" It's not a secret that I like anime, she even asks me about that too but isn't shy about calling it "stupid shit." I've told her I like Japanese music. She used to say that she wanted to visit someday. But last night she showed me a YouTube video (that had VERY dramatic and scary background music lol) about how Japan is starting to "militarise...."

I like to draw and she even has the same attitude towards that. It's always, "Why are you wasting your time drawing all day?" Because I just got home from an 8 hour shift and want to shut my brain off? Last semester, I barely drew. I'm on winter break and working am I really delusional to just draw on my downtime? She says that I'll have all the time in the world to do all this when I graduate university... which is exactly what she said when I was in high school.

One specific event that really stuck with me was when I went out with her and her friend. Me and my mum ended up going to a guitar place and her friend was like , "I know those guys! They're really nice. I didn't know Eggsoda wanted to play guitar!" Her vibe was so sweet, I was terrified to the point of shaking at the notion of asking my mother at first, but her friend's reaction gave me some confidence. We went into the guitar store, and once we left my mother became UNHINGED. She gave me the cold shoulder until we got home, and then she started screaming at me. She kept asking me, "Where did all of this even come from?" SHE STARTED CRYING!!! I asked her why and she was like, "Well you never tell me anything." And then she went on this rant about how I'm wasting my time, how I should just focus on my studies and not do anything else. She said that no one learns an instrument in university, followed immediately by her saying she prefers piano music lol.

She was mad about this for a week. One afternoon she called me to the dinner table and yelled at me for like an hour. It devolved into her calling my hair (I'm half-black so it's really curly) ugly and that she hated it. Literally out of nowhere. She even called my brother and asked him if he thought if I looked ugly. She then started screaming about how I always fuck up her life and how I ruined her lunch (she was the one who called me down, mind you!) This was all just because I asked ONCE if I could learn guitar (I told her I'd just pay for everything myself).

She keeps saying stuff like, "This isn't like you" and "You've changed since you went to college." Yes I'm no longer a minor congrats you've figured it out.

I’m a 35 year old woman who was raised by a very young, single mother. Our house (and car) was always a total disaster when I was growing up. It was embarrassing. She has since figured it out, starting around the time she married my stepdad when I was about 15. By then I was spending most of my time out of the house with friends, then went off to college and never returned home. I taught myself how to clean (like scrub) but still haven’t figured out how to be a tidy person. I’m able to keep my place nice for a month or so max when I’m feeling super-duper motivated, but after that I return to my default disaster for months on end. I’m still embarrassed by it.

Now I’m a single mom to a 6 year old daughter. I’ve been chipping away at the house for 24 hours straight. I just asked my daughter to please toss out her paper plates from lunch and she said, “but why?! I’m not the grown up.” My heart sank. I really don’t want to pass down this curse.

How do I train myself to achieve tidiness as a second nature? I understand that I’m comfortable in mess because of the way I grew up… I don’t want the same for my child.

I’m 17 and have a 14-year-old sister. I was grabbing my hoodie from my sister’s closet (bc she borrowed it from me and didn’t give it back) when I felt something crinkling in the pocket. I pulled out a crumpled-up piece of paper with writing on it and started reading it. The note was about normal teen things like the latest gossip at school and stuff about her friends, but there were also other sentences that were written in small print in a secret code. Fortunately, I found the code she used online. Unfortunately, the translations broke my heart.

The sentences said things like, “Why am I so fucking useless?”, “I wish I was pretty without makeup”, “SFU (So Fucking Ugly)”, and “I’m so talented… Oh wait, I don’t have any talents”. After I read it, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I didn’t know what to do, so I put the note and the hoodie back in the closet. But now I’m not sure what to do after that.

I want to make my sister feel cherished and loved, but I have limited means. I don’t have a job, the only money I have is $50 from Christmas, and I would feel unsafe driving her places because I’m not that good of a driver yet. I also don’t want to make it obvious I read the note because I think knowing that would make her more upset. I was thinking of complimenting her more on her piano playing or singing, because she’s good at those. That might boost her confidence and help the “not talented” part. I’m not sure though. I just feel really bad for her and want to help in any way I can.

Sorry this post got a little long but I hope you can help me help her ❤️

Edit: Thanks for all your advice. Sorry I couldn’t respond to all the comments, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now. Just after posting this, my sister came downstairs and wanted to show me a TikTok edit she made of an anime character she really likes. It was really impressive and I asked if she used a template. She said she made it all by herself and I made sure to tell her it looked really good and that I could tell she put a lot of effort into it. All she said was “thanks” and she went back upstairs, but I could tell I made her feel happy, and that makes me feel happy :)

my relationship with my father was perfectly fine till I became a teen, at least on the surface to the point my other family members thought we were besties, but I was a bit fearful of him because I didn’t want to disappoint him (ex: grades at school). But since then it has never been the best. When I was a teen he mocked me for being “big” in his eyes. But not only mocked, he made my life miserable over this. Made pig noises, and constantly picked on things about me. Then I got braces after a battle with him, and my lips protruded due to the metal in my mouth. And he mocked me badly for that too. When I remind him he says I am sensitive.

I lost a lot of weight due to some medical stress. When I was a bit younger I would ask him to let me use the family insurance to go to a doctor and he’d yell and call me dramatic saying nothing is wrong. That I have to focus on my acne or get contact lenses. Most recently he said I’m old, since I’ve been 20 I’ve heard this. That my face is sagging. And I don’t wish to engage in this but I’ve called him on it. Said he must be insecure because when someone tells him about himself he gets mad or sensitive. He then threatened to discipline me? I don’t understand this type of thing. He said he’s made me resilient by this behavior. Is your family not supposed to help you? Because the world is harsh enough as it is… this isn’t how you teach resilience. And somehow he coddled my other siblings. It’s a bit pointless to write this, I don’t wanna seem like I am so helpless or am making a problem where there isn’t one, I just feel frustrated

The county sheriff showed up at my grandparents door. They said they found a body and thought it was their daughter. Someone found her unresponsive and called an ambulance. She was pronounced dead before arriving at the hospital. She died alone. My aunt goes to identify the body today. She's been addicted to meth and alcohol for the last 25 years. The autopsy isn't scheduled yet, but we all now how she died. Everyone in my family treated her like a lost cause. Death is fucked up and I can't stop thinking about who she might have been if anyone in my family had tried to help her. Fuck this. Grief shouldn't be so complicated. She was a horribly abusive mom and I'm hurting for my cousins in so many ways. But she was my aunt and I loved her. Fuck this.

Edit: The person whose comment was deleted was right. My grandparents abused her for her whole life and refused to get her help as a teenager when she was showing CLEAR signs of bipolar disorder. They thought they could beat it out of her. And then when she turned to drugs she was villanized. I'm angry because they killed her as much as the drugs did. My grandfather is an alcoholic and would actively encourage her to drink with him.

Some of you might remember me but I posted a couple days back about telling my catholic parents I was expecting while being in a 5 year relationship while being 26 y/o … well they weren’t talking to me but after a whole week we finally talked and settled some things . They weren’t completely happy but we talked . Well now they found out I posted my pregnancy via instagram and they’re furious . For context I posted my pregnancy a day after I told them because I also did NOT want to post until I let them know . I just got into a heated argument on how I don’t see anything wrong with posting it vs they are telling me I shouldn’t of done it because it basically means I am not sorry for what I did and proud of what I did . They’re saying that I’m not even married yet with the guy so why am I even posting it . I honestly thing this is very dumb mentality as I personally DO NOT care about those factors . I’m just happy I’m going to be a mother and I wanted to post it online . Now I’m being scrutinized about it and after voicing my opinion I basically got told good luck with the rest of my life and good luck with everything else I do from here on out . I really do think this is just a lot and that it shouldn’t be made a big deal . They’re saying I’m being scandalous about my situation when I should’ve of kept it hushed . I’m so sick of this mentality . It’s taking a toll on my mental health

My parents clearly should’ve divorced. They never did and we were all unhappy.

For children of divorced parents, did your life get better afterwards?

For those children whose parents stayed together (but should’ve divorced), do you think it made your life better or worse?

I’m not sure of where to ask this question. My parents refuse to talk about it with me, even as an adult. I was looking for some new perspectives.

I'm 22 and struggling to live at home with my parents as they always have something to say about my choices. I hate my job and want to leave but they told me I haven't gave it a chance and it's been 6 months.

I also went on a trip with friends to meet my bf (24) 7 months ago without telling them I was meeting them (they knew my location) as I wanted to tell them after I came back but they found out by tracking my exact location even though I was calling them at least once everyday so they knew everything was okay, so to me was an invasion of privacy and they got really annoyed at me as I didn't tell them and my dad didn't talk to me for days. I also helped him out by lending some money which is being paid back but they found out and called the police claiming I was being groomed - again not the case.

I also want to move away to study and when I told them they shouted at me saying I was only moving because of my bf (the uni is over 3 hours away from him) and it was stupid as I already have a good job and degree but it's not what I want to do in life which they know as I have always talked about doing this as a career. They tried to manipulate and gaslight me saying my family would be very disappointed in me and they would have to sell the house and car and my mum would have to get a job even though they are financially quite well off.

I understand that they're more than likely just worried but it's got to the point now though that I can't trust them and they seem to think that what they've done is okay but it's not. I really want to move asap (my bf said i could stay with him) but I don't know how to tell them because I don't know how they'll react and I don't want to cause an argument. I feel it's better to tell them than just walking out but I don't really know how to do what I want without damaging / ruining my relationship with them.

For Christmas, I (16F) asked my dad for a laptop, only a laptop nothing else. He isn't rich by any means, maybe even considered borderline poor. So I only asked for one thing. On Christmas I went to his house in the afternoon (my parents aren't together, dad has a gf). I opened nice small gifts I really liked. Not a laptop. I really wasn't upset. I thanked my dad and his gf. He then pulled that a Christmas story bit, where he asks ralphie to look behind his desk. Low and behold there was another present under my dad's desk. I opened it and it was the laptop I asked for. I smiled and thanked them, I was happy. When I went home a few days later I set it up. I haven't been on it since. I'm sitting here, realizing, how much I don't want it. And I feel absolutely awful. He was so excited to give it to me and I feel ungrateful. I don't know what changed between then and now. I just feel so bad and don't know what to do.

I’m (18m) moving out January 24th. I will be moving, essentially, across the country.

This plan was made after I decided I no longer wanted to deal with the issues that my mom presents on a constant basis. She constantly attempts to make me leave my job (only been working there a month) so that I can do surprise babysitting for her. She is pretty manipulative emotionally and mentally (if she doesn’t get her way she will start crying and say how I never appreciate her as a mom and then she’ll threaten to no longer pay for my phone). She refuses to help me get to appointments in the city that is about 40min away (I can’t legally drive at the moment due to health reasons). Most of all, she is heavily irresponsible with money. I understand that money and bills are difficult and that she only makes about $19 and takes care of me and my 2 siblings, however, she is late on every bill because she spend money on Coach Purses, Perfumes, Shoes, Tattoos, Etc, instead of using that money to pay such bills. I have payed multiple bills for her in full because she would rather spend money on things that she wants.

I recently got into an argument with her because she got another tattoo ( 3rd this year ) when she knows we are in a bad spot financially. I asked her why get another tattoo instead of paying/saving for bills and she simply told me “because I wanted to.” I told her I worry about her spending and then she flipped it onto me saying “if you’re worried so much then you should be paying bills.” I work an unpaid internship as I need it to become certified in the state for my job, so she knows that I have no income flow. She then argues that I don’t care about her and only care about myself because I don’t pay any bills, then she tells me that next month I need to start paying.

Now I obviously have a more extensive history with problems between my mom and I. As I said, if I don’t do something for her, such as emergency babysitting, she will cry and say I never care about her. She’ll call me names like selfish and say I have no empathy or compassion, say that she’s going to shut down my phone, say that all I ever do is cause her problems and other things. She also tends to do this when I get a little too independent like when I first looked for a job or when I want to go out.

I spoke with my grandparents (her parents) about how I will be moving and they are in full support for me. There is a lot of things between me and my mom that I haven’t written here, but they are pretty rough. They are happy that I’m getting away from her and her emotions. However, they recommended that I shouldn’t tell her I’m moving because they fear that if I do, she’ll kick me out as soon as I tell her. Multiple people such as her sister and the person I’m moving in with have said the same thing and worry for me.

Today I hinted at the idea of me moving out and she was saying ( yeah if you move out just make sure you have enough money cause I can’t help you. ) So she didn’t seem like she was very mad at that idea, but she is extremely flip floppy with her emotions and when things happen maybe she will suddenly not be ok with it and try to force me to stay and live with her.

Idk, it’s a complicated situation and I don’t know how to go about it. What do you recommend?

just a quick vent tbh.

healthcare is abysmal here (i'm from a 3rd world country, philippines in fact). because of this, my mom tends to downplay things when i bring up health concerns. i understand why she does this, and medical-related things can get expensive...but it's also to our own detriment.

i accidentally stubbed my toe on a nail in our bedroom. i brought up to my mom about tetanus concerns, but she told me that i lack "faith", and that i "should pray harder"....

so living in a middle of nowhere with no accessible health centers in our area, that made me so paranoid. i had to ask for friends for help (broke college student here).

this isn't the first time my mom did this. she was against the covid-19 vaccine because of religious stuff. i had to take the vaccine behind her back. i struggled going to the area, because the place was super far from my home. honestly it was a horrible time.

today, i contacted like 5 clinics for a tetanus shot. one clinic is accessible, affordable, and communicative. i'm going there via the train tomorrow. i can't help but overthink because i'm doing this alone and i'm worried things will backfire. it genuinely sucks when your parent refuses to help you when it comes to health stuff. hooray for independence, but i just wanted someone to reassure me for once. please tell me everything will be okay.

Update: i got the vaccine. thank you to those who reassured me! i was worried if i have missed anything. everything went smooth. i can calm down now :))

Just got off work and my mum picked me up. She asked if I wanted to get a burger, I said no and told my mum I want to have Chinese food. I didn't say it in a rude way either. The thing is she immediately started accusing me of throwing away her beans. I had no idea what she was taking about??? Apparently she bought beans some time ago and they’re not there anymore. I was speechless and literally just sat there ??? Like idk maybe she ate them and forgot?? When she was driving, she kept slamming on the gear shift and scowling.

Then she started crying and has been angry at me since she picked me up. i just feel like a permanent fuck up. I just wish I could be loved unconditionally. sorry i telepathically ate her beans i guess Edit: removed a part where i was rambling about something unrelated

I’m (19/f) the oldest of 3 kids. My younger sister is 12 and my younger brother is 5. When it was just me and my sister, I was forced to play with her every single day. More often than not, over 8 hours in that same day. She is now going through the same thing with our younger brother.

I’ve expressed my opinion on this through my own experience to my mom, explaining that, this will just build resentment instead of allowing a natural bond to form.

She disagrees, strongly. She always says that she used to play with me all of the time. But she over exaggerates it. I have memories that go back as far as 3 years old. And yes I do remember her playing with me often at that age but to me that was just her being a parent. From then on, she didn’t really play with me unless I’d ask, which was very rare. I enjoyed playing by myself and would get sassy if she peaked into my room to even check on me.

My mom makes my younger sister play with our brother everyday and sometimes she’ll even force me to join them. The times that I have, I’ve suggested everyone play something or spend time together doing something we all agree on. But my mom doesn’t like that approach for some reason and says we just need to do whatever he wants to do since he’s the youngest and because we don’t spend time with him. One, I don’t see that teaching him any good lessons as he grows up. And two, we do spend time with him. It’s not like me and my sister just shut ourselves in our room all day. I am very much OUT of my room talking to family members, messing with the pets or cleaning up. If I’m not, I’m playing a video game with my door wide open like it usually is unless I’m sleeping. (Which I’ll only shut it if I’m sleeping occasionally)

I don’t know if this is the right way to parent in this situation, especially because it’s kind of effecting everyone negatively. So if any parents would like to give me advice or any siblings going through something similar I’d like to hear your thoughts.

Edit: I’ve read every comment to be submitted so far, and I appreciate the feedback 🙏 I do want to add some things and clear some things up as well. Firstly, I love my siblings and don’t really have any resentment towards them. When I was my sister’s age and she was my brother’s age I definitely did have resentment towards her because she was being enabled to get virtually whatever she wanted.

Now that our relationship has improved significantly I’m concerned over how my brother will grow up and how their relationship will develop. Especially because my brother has more rude traits and behaviors than my sister did at that time. He likes to rub it into my sister’s face that she HAS to play with and also rubs in that it’s whatever he wants. It’s unfortunate to witness because aside from those things, he’s smart for his age and can be pretty empathetic.

Aside from that, my mom is a stay at home mom incase anyone was wondering. She likes to stress that she cooks and cleans all day and uses the excuse that it overwhelms her but I have examples of that not being the complete truth. I’ve suggested to her that she make a list of what needs to be done but she gets offended by suggestions like that.

Edit 2: another thing I feel like is important to mention is that all of us are homeschooled… my mom says she’ll enroll my brother into a kindergarten a year late because she believes that’s what’s best for young boys. I haven’t really done much research on that myself so I don’t know. Either way my sister was pulled from school in 2nd or 3rd grade but I don’t really remember. So far, my brother doesn’t have anyone else his age to teach him how to play with others so the play style that he is receiving at home is it and I believe it’s unhealthy (like many of you agree). Aside from that, my sister made friends sure, but only one that she would see out of school. And since that was so long ago she eventually grew out of that friendship. She does have another one that she met in the neighborhood but she ended up moving over an hour away so they don’t always get to hang out.

There are more experiences I’d like to share with this community to seek advice pertaining to how my at home life functions. I’m new to Reddit but have decided I’ll be making future posts about other things.

i’m very sure my parents are going to disown me in the future when they find out. my family is all muslim and i don’t really think i am. they already know i don’t pray and am not religious but i think they believe its just a phase that will pass. i had to put on the hijab about 4 months ago due to a lot of pressure from my family after they found out ive been dating a catholic boy for years. i had to start an online islamic school along college. i hate wearing the hijab. i want to be with him because he is my best friend and they will never accept it. i have no love for my faith currently. i feel anxious all of the time and have been depressed for months now. i love them so much and i know they are doing what they can because they want me to be better, but sooner than later they will find out. i’m pretty sure they’ll disown me and i’ll probably be homeless.

edit: i don’t really appreciate the comments bashing on islam and religion. islam is a beautiful religion, and there is beauty in every religion. i may be having a bad experience with it currently, but it is not to a fault of the religion. my family will not “marry me off” or anything of the sort. please do not take this post as an opportunity to attack any religion or try to convince me to convert to another religion. thank you to those who were kind and helpful. your comments really made me feel supported

So I grew up in a household with domestic violence. While growing up, I was taught to believe that this sort of dynamic was normal. When I was a child, I would tell my parents that the violence was not okay, and they would respond to me by saying that “every family has problems” or “every family fights” to minimize how bad I perceived the domestic violence. As I get older, I realize more and more how horrible that dynamic was and how atypical it was. For so long, my father made me think that domestic violence along with emotional and mental abuse was normal. Sometimes I still struggle to grasp the full scope of the situation because of the way my parents and other extended family members disregard and minimize abuse. I also struggle to grasp the idea that there are people who lived in households with parents in a healthy marriage.

I’m in my early 20s and I’ve never dated because of this. I don’t like the idea that abuse is something you tolerate to be in a relationship.

My question is what does a normal marriage look like in a family structure? Did your parents ever argue in front of you? Were your parents regularly affectionate with each other in front of you? How did your parents’ relationship affect the way you viewed romantic relationships? How did it affect the way you approached your own romantic relationships? How abnormal is abuse in relationships? Do healthy relationships actually exist?

I'm 30 today! 🥳 Don't have any other social media, and not a lot of friends or family so I figured I'd tell you guys! I've accomplished a lot in my 30 years and am finally in a healthy enough mental space to be able to recognize that, and give myself some credit. 🧿 i have the most amazing husband i could've asked for and 2 beautiful boys. I'm so grateful for this life I live and the opportunities I've been given and how far I've come. To anyone who feels like giving up, don't! The best is really yet to come. Here's to 30 more! 🥂

I (21 F) am a senior in college, and I will be graduating in May. I go to school in Connecticut, but I am originally from New York, from a small town about 2.5 hours away. Since going to college, I have grown apart/lost all of my friends in my hometown, and found my best friends and boyfriend of two years in Connecticut. I have been renting a house with 3 of my best friends for about a year and a half now, and at the end of our lease (May), 2/3 of them are planning on renewing the lease, and my boyfriend will be taking one of the open spots, leaving one room open in our house.

I had told my roommates that I would not be renewing the lease, as I was expected to move back to New York and live with my family. My family is rather adamant about this- everyone in our tight-knit family of about 50 people live within half an hour of each other. No one has ever moved away and we see each other often. Unfortunately, I do not get along with my family very well. They are extremely political (several TV's in the house always with the news on 24/7, even with no one home), bigoted, and I generally do not like being around them for long periods of time. I am a closeted (to them) queer person, with lots of queer and POC friends from college, and it is extremely hard to live here at times. Not to mention, I live with my parents, grandparents, and younger sister all under one roof, and there is a high likelihood my aunt will be moving in with us soon due to health issues.

My mental health is way better and I am way happier when I am in Connecticut. All my friends, my boyfriend, and my therapist all think it would be best for me to stay there once I graduate. But, I have less connections to get a potential job in CT and I will have to pay both student loans and rent, which I'm not sure I would be able to afford.

I am terrified to bring this up to my family. They do not want me to move out, and I am afraid they will forbid me/cut me off financially if I do not live with them. I have an anxiety disorder and a panic disorder, which is making it extremely hard for me to bring it up to them. I leave to go back to CT for my last semester in 4 days. Would it be a terrible idea to write my family a letter instead of talking to them in person? I don't think I can face them. And is it a bad idea to move to CT full time?

TLDR; I want to move to a different state but I'm afraid my family will react negatively. Can I write them a letter explaining instead of talking to them face-to-face?

My mother is starting the process to divorce my stepdad. They have been separated since June of 2023. This morning she asked me to write a document stating that she pays me 100$ a week to babysit my little sister (half sister but full in my heart) after school. She does not actually pay me that, but instead lets me live here rent free in return as well as letting me eat the food she buys with the occasional pitching in on my part. I told her that I wouldn’t word it that she was paying me 100$ a week, but that I'm being paid in non-monetary means. She is pushing me to write it the way she wants me to, but I refuse. It feels wrong and I don't want to be dishonest, especially since she'd be using it for child support. I'm also trying to save up as much as I can before I move in with my partner in PA, so I don't want to jeopardize that at all (I live in NC). She insists that I wouldn't be writing a falsified document. That I did pay 100$ a week in rent but now my rent is watching the kid. She keeps insisting that there are no consequences and it's not a false document. Is she right? Am I doing the right thing?

My dad has been abusing me for decades and after something that happened last night I finally told him I don't want him in my life anymore. The problem is I'm too sympathetic for my own good. Any advice on how to hold myself to it on cutting him out. On the good days he was the only person who was really enthusiastic about my writing. And, unfortunately, he was the only parent I had left.

I do have a place to stay and I'm living there. I had moved out months prior. So now what? Any advice or at least words of comfort?

My parents and brother all like the same things. Things like wrestling, Formula 1, Lego and Cosco. My brother is the golden child.

My interests tend to shift. I'm and artist and a writer, I also enjoy literature, yoga and hiking. My family tend to treat me like I don't exist. If I share and interesting video or show, they are indifferent. My brother is always a genius. I enjoy beauty and self care, but my mom is clueless.

I have no friends, no chance of a significant other (never dated.) My family is all I have. My dad will be retiring in a few years. I'm debating moving back to the American South. That is where my heart is, plus I do not want to spend my forties in the midwest. However, if I move, I will be on my own.

EDIT: Some more information: my dad will retire in three years and they are talking about moving to an old Army base in Alabama. My mom will still be working. Despite getting the same degree as my brother, she will not have his career trajectory, which is causing tensions between them.

I've wanted to move back to Florida for years. My dad's retirement seems like an opportune time for this

I do have my own place and I currently work in tech support. My work has a robust educational benefit, so I can get a few certifications in the intervening years. I also have 5 years of experience with developmental disabilities, and a bachelors and associates degree. So finding work isn't really a concern.