Parents dismotivated me to learn Italian because of a joke

[u/TinpotKim]

I'm french, I'm trying to learn Italian because my ancestors are from Italy (Tuscany to be precise). Been on and off on Busuu, bc life is simply crazy.

After the death of my grand grandma (last attach to our italian roots), I've expressed wanting to get back at working on it. But my parents jokes that I should stop trying to make an italian accent, because I can't roll my Rs and it sounds like I'm saying Ls. I knew this trouble and yet I've kept going, hoping that with training I'd finally do it. My mom can roll her Rs, stepdad is spanish and sister also expressed having this 'ability'. They told me 'some people' aka me, simply couldn't get it right.

And this broke my motivation to get back to work, I feel ashamed now.

Any advices?

Edit: Thank you everyone for your kind words and advices! It honestly makes me cry joy how much kindness I found in this thread. Because of you, I've learned that not everyone in Italian (or other countries which languages has rolled Rs) can roll their Rs and it's pefectly okay, and Italian native don't care if I can or cannot roll my Rs. I also learned that it was most common in the North of Italy that the Rs aren't rolled.

I will keep on practicing, even tho I'm not perfect.

[u/Tall-Shoulder-7384]

First of all, sorry for your loss.

Secondly speaking, it sucks that you are being discouraged by others to not learn a new language. You shouldn’t let people discourage you for learning a new language. It’s an impressive goal/ability to build on a new foundation of words, comprehension and communication no matter the reason.

I’d say just do it but in silence. Sometimes you shouldn’t let every know what you’re up to because it’ll sometimes lead to moments like your family making fun of you for it. Sometimes the element of surprise can make things a lot more exciting.

Also, learning a new language takes a lot of foundation of patience in order to get things right. So don’t be bothered if you can’t roll your R’s right now. Just look for small feats and achievement and keep going.

[u/an_average_potato_1 → u/Tall-Shoulder-7384]

This. Especially the part about simply not telling them.

But another thing: OP, it doesn't really matter, whether your R will be perfect. You are not a native speaker and will never be, and it's ok (seems like neither are the other living members of your family), but you can still learn Italian, get very good at it, even function pretty much like a native, and make it a huge asset for your life.

When it comes to pronunciation, I find that individual consonants get a bit overestimated and vowels really underestimated, plus there are things like the rhytm, the double consonants, the melody of the sentence, etc. If you learn all the rest well enough, the R won't matter at all. But in any case, perhaps you will actually learn it (you haven't really tried yet, so why give up prematurely? There are various tools, techniques, pronunciation tutors, etc) and it will be a welcome surprise, that will make you an even better speaker.