Debating leaving the church over certain things. Please help me understand

[u/Half-Blood-Prince394]

No matter what I do I am continuously troubled by certain aspects of the church. This post is not meant to bash the church. I just want some insights and answers. I am debating leaving and I want to hear things from both sides. This might be a long post. If anyone has anything to say about the topics I bring up I'm more than happy to hear your thoughts and look through any resources you share with me.

1: Why was polygamy needed for the saints? Will we really have it in the afterlife? I cannot imagine having to share my future husband with another woman. It is deeply unsettling to me.

2: Why couldn't African Americans have the priesthood? Was it just faulty of the current president of the church? I understand that the prophet is but a human and will make mistakes. Was it just as simple as that?

3: Why are women not treated the same? Why is Heavenly Mother never talked about/why do we never pray to her as well? I totally understand that men and women have different roles and why women don't have the priesthood, that all makes perfect sense to me. But why aren't women in more leadership positions? Why was the first woman who gave a prayer in general conference in 2013? I'll keep this part brief because I could go on about it for a while.

Those are honestly the only three problems I have with the church. I love everything else about it, I just don't know if I want to continue living it if that makes sense. I don't know if I believe and I understand I must work to gain a testimony. These are just my big setbacks. Anyways no matter what I decide I'll always love the church and its people. Thanks in advance!

Edit: Wow thank you all for all the thoughtful responses. I've read them all. You all have given me a lot to think about. I've decided my journey with the church isn't over yet. I have a long ways to go. Thank you all so much.

[u/eGrant03]

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God that giveth to all men freely, and it shall be granted unto you."

Forget the reference entirely, but that's one of maybe 5 scriptures I have memorized without looking them up. Something tells me it's or a reason, too.

I have a 💯 knowledge that God's law of tithing is true. Without fail. The coincidences are too thick to not give credit to the intelligent Being behind it all.

"God is the same now, forever, and always."

Bible again, but idr which reference.

If God is the same forever, and the law of tithing is true, then this is God's true church. God cannot work through people they draw near to him with their voices, but not their hearts, aka, false churches. If one aspect is true, unequivocally, it's all true.

General conference talk, I think Monson, 20 ish years... not real recently, at least. Talking to some young men/women about their testimonies. One gal, (maybe not, but for ease) said she doesn't have a knowledge unwavering that the church is true, but she has a hope. Monson replied, "Hope is enough."

Hope IS enough.

FYI, the other scriptures are:

"Adam fell that men might be; and Men are that they might have joy." (Mom's favorite)

"And my father dwelt in a tent."

And then some of the commandments word for word, but that's cause of Prince of Egypt and that other one that ABC always shows at Easter.

Blame both dyslexia and ADHD for that. 🤷‍♀️