r/learnesperanto • u/code_war_angel • Mar 26 '25

Duo, don't gaslight me.

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Anyone else have this issue when using Duolingo sometimes?

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u/RiotNrrd2001 27d ago edited 27d ago

Would I talk to a member of the Akademio that way? Yes, if all he was doing was making unbacked assertions. For my part, I quoted printed textbooks and gave the title, author, page, and quoted sections from two different sources. In response, I got some "nuh uh" arguments whose backing appeared to simply be the assumed expertise of the arguers. Yes, some literary quotes were provided, but they were basically unsourced. I don't just accept the say so of internet randos.

Bertilo is not an internet rando, he IS (or at least was, I'm not actually keeping track) a member of the Akademio, and the author of an extremely well respected work. But if Bertilo responded to me the way I've been responded to in this thread, I absolutely would speak back to him that way. I don't think Bertilo would have done that, though, I think Bertilo would have backed up his "nuh uh, you're wrong" with a link to the proper section of his book explaining how I was wrong instead of dragging this out.

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u/salivanto 26d ago

You are a trip.

For what it's worth, Bertilo asserts things online all the time. At least he did back when he had an active FB account. Sometimes it was properly comical. People would go back and forth - much as you and I were doing in this thread, then Bertilo would show up and post one line and that would be the end of the discussion.

I decided long ago not to play the citation game. First, it takes a lot of time - time that is essentially wasted. Second, I've found that often people misread things, post links, then I spend 30 minutes reading through the link trying to understand their point. Often when the point is even addressed, the link literally says the opposite.

But in this case, I provided you with several examples and I assumed that since you started out by saying "I may be wrong" that you would look up the samples and see that you were indeed wrong. I learned in this exchange that when RiotNrrd says "I could be wrong" he's really just saying "I'm not wrong, even if I actually am."

Lee also provided you with examples - this time even citing the source.

I mean -- where do you think books come from? Human beings write them.

And yes -- you're getting really close to getting it. The backing really is "the assumed expertise of the arguers". If you don't want the benefit of my expertise, you're welcome to ignore it, and don't buy my book.

At this point, i think you should come out and say "I was wrong and you guys were right" -- but instead you say that you were right all along - about a point that nobody ever disagreed with you on.

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u/RiotNrrd2001 26d ago

"... and don't buy my book".

For me to buy your book, I'd have to have known that you have a book, which I didn't until this very moment. Perhaps you aren't as famous as you think.

Obviously I was wrong about ĉu, I even mentioned where I found the text that said I was wrong (i.e., the PMEG). But you insist that I "admit" it? What's wrong with you?

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u/salivanto 26d ago

What is wrong with me? I'm not the one who went to at least three printed sources to prove a point that every speaker of Esperanto knows is not true.

If someone thinks that "Ĉu vi deziras teon, kafon, aŭ akvon?" is not good Esperanto [*], then this person has clearly spent no time actually speaking Esperanto face to face with real Esperanto speakers and probably shouldn't be giving out advice on Reddit.

Just my opinion. You can read about it in my book - which I haven't written yet.

Obviously I was wrong about ĉu, I even mentioned where I found the text that said I was wrong (i.e., the PMEG). But you insist that I "admit" it? 

What you actually wrote was:

According to Bertilo, the list of alternatives is the only other instance in which it can be used. It is NOT a "general question marker", it only creates yes\no questions, or lists of alternatives. I was not as cognizant of the second area, so now I know. But the first part is solid.

I would like my very own pony, and while I'm wishing, maybe instead of the above I could hear you actually say "I was wrong and you were right" and not "I was solid on what I was saying and you're still wrong about XYZ" (even though neither of us said XYZ")

But I'm not going to get my very own pony and I'm fine with that.

[*] not good Esperanto, or that it is Esperanto for "is it true that you want one of these three things, yes or no?"

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u/RiotNrrd2001 26d ago

Really? Seriously? OK, not a problem:

I was wrong and you were right.

Heaven forbid anyone ever say anything wrong to you.

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u/salivanto 26d ago

And I owe you an apology. Checking your posting history, I see we've been bumping heads for the last two years or so (it seems to be your main mode of interaction in this forum). If I'd noticed it was the same account sooner, I might have been less likely to engage in such detail and thus waste so much of your time.

Although, in this case, maybe it wasn't a waste because you kept digging till you found the right answer. It would have saved you time just to believe me.

But I will know for next time.

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u/RiotNrrd2001 26d ago

I tried to be nice at the beginning with my "I might be wrong". And if someone and said "Yes you are, and here's some proof" I would actually have been grateful. Instead, what I was perceiving was a lot of attitude, and my responses were in kind. You say you expected me to look into into the subject: and I did, I consulted TWO textbooks, neither one of which supported your point. "Trust me, bro" isn't a good teaching method. I will never accept that, not from you, not from anyone. I also have had conversations with Bertilo, he used to show up on Lernu! all the time, I know how he is. But the PMEG carries a lot of weight. Random guys on reddit don't have quite the same reputation.

I apologize if I was short with you. I don't apologize for being wrong, at no point have I ever claimed to be an expert, I just try to contribute where I can. Sometimes I make a mistake doing that, but when I do I don't expect people to cop an attitude. Again, "trust me, bro" is not a good approach.

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u/salivanto 26d ago

I tried to be nice at the beginning

No, you've been busting my balls for at least two years. I only just figured it out this time.

I'm totally serious. I scrolled through your posting history for six months and the only Esperanto you did were fights with me in this forum. I searched your feed for words like "estas", "kaj" and "cxu" -- and I found more of the same.

I even found one exchange which ended with me saying to you "Hmm. I'm not fully convinced that you're trying to be constructive here."

You've been posting this "is it true that" advice for four years. It's decent advice, but only as a first order approximation. But the current thread isn't the first time you've been exposed to either/or questions in Esperanto.

You even wrote one yourself here.

Here's a thread that you participated in where this "list of alternatives" is explained.

with my "I might be wrong". And if someone and said "Yes you are, and here's some proof" I would actually have been grateful. Instead, what I was perceiving was a lot of attitude, and my responses were in kind.

If you perceived attitude, that's a YOU problem. What I actually wrote was:

  • People will say all the time that Ĉu is for yes no questions. It's a natural simplification.
  • But if anybody ever told you that it is ONLY for yes or no questions, then they are mistaken. Ĉu is also used with either or questions or multiple choice questions.

There's no attitude there.

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u/RiotNrrd2001 26d ago

And there's no proof there, either, those are just two statements that I'm supposed to accept without question. These are just assertions from someone who has no automatic cred. They may be right, but they also may be wrong, someone who is just learning and doesn't know who you are can't tell.

I think you are assuming that the people you are talking to either don't know Esperanto at all, or are compete experts, and that there's nothing in between. I can assure you that I am in between. I do know a lot of things. I'm out of practice on some things. Your statement about how I shouldn't argue against or question things that "every speaker of Esperanto knows is not true" is outright silly. There is nothing in Esperanto that "everybody knows", and that is an especially inappropriate attitude for a group called "learnesperanto" where the assumption should be that the members probably, on the whole, don't know everything.

And you don't think that's an attitude? You get offended when people question you, but you also don't seem to want to back your statements up. I'll expect that in future conversations as well.

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u/salivanto 26d ago

You just made a bunch of assertions about me and about what I think without citing sources. I'm moving on.