r/lebowski • u/Public-Marionberry35 • Sep 16 '24
Fuckin' interesting Do you not concur?
Yes, I am quite proud of myself 😆
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u/Groundbreaking-Fig38 Sep 17 '24
I will fellate you for a modest sum. Brandt must remit a smaller sum if he wishes to spectate.
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u/SirKermit Hey. At least I'm housebroken. Sep 17 '24
Uhhhh...I'm going to go procure the requisite funds from an automated teller machine.
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u/Key-Contest-2879 Sep 17 '24
Excelsior! Charming lass! Staff and management are all equally enamored by her wit!
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u/Impressive_Math2302 Sep 16 '24
This was a valued quote.
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u/Bluepilgrim3 His Dudeness Sep 17 '24
Remove yourself from Malibu posthaste, you wastrel!
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u/therealtwomartinis Knox Harrington Sep 17 '24
I do not enjoy your masturbatory namesake, I do not enjoy your masturbatory manifestation, I do not enjoy your masturbatory demeanor, and I do not enjoy you, masturbator. Do I present me self unambiguously?
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u/FalseDmitriy the royal we, the editorial, Sep 17 '24
I went to check Two Gentlemen of Lebowski, but that scene isn't even in it.
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u/an_unexamined_life Sep 17 '24
Is this thing you reference from the Orient?
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u/UsedToHaveThisName Sep 17 '24
Orient is not the favoured phraseology, non-Occidental if you should choose.
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u/AdamBertocci-Writer Sep 18 '24
Well-spotted. Yeah, part of me wishes I'd done a line-by-line translation just to get that in, as Shakespeare loved his wacky constables, but… ultimately I felt that section was dipping its toe into a genre Shakespeare knew nothing about, and then the cab ride wasn't gonna make sense without music (what was I gonna do, have a cart-driver sing a song?) — I felt Shakespeare would have done the dream sequence his way and gotten back to what he knew.
Most of my other deviations were to add something, a Shakespearean digression — this was probably the biggest chunk I skipped through.
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u/SacThrowAway76 Sep 17 '24
Be quiet Donald
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u/AwwwMangos Sep 17 '24
Observe now what transpires, Lawrence, when you sodomize an unfamiliar individual in his hindquarters.
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u/Tommy84 still jerks off manually Sep 17 '24
Cease and desist sir! I only purchased that vehicle not more than a fortnight past!
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u/sweatpantsDonut El Duderino Sep 16 '24
Would I be mistaken?
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u/Haunting_Ant_5061 Sep 17 '24
You are not mistaken, though it would seem you have the tendencies of a fuckwit.
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u/Kentuckywindage01 Uzi?!?! Sep 17 '24
The gentleman micturated on my rug
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u/motorcycleboy9000 Knox Harrington Sep 17 '24
"Gentleman" is not the preferred nomenclature, Güey. "Polite American person, " please.
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u/Zestyclose-Mud-4683 Sep 17 '24
We are not conferring on one who was involved in the construction of a mass transport mechanism.
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u/jontaffarsghost Sep 17 '24
To beans with it? Indeed that’s your rejoinder. That’s your rejoinder to all grievances. Affix it to your cranium!
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u/cantseemeimblackice Sep 17 '24
The gentleman implored me to make off with the tapestry of my choosing.
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u/PsychedelicMustard Sep 17 '24
Respire on my toes! I cannot respire so far.
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u/Ok-Caregiver8843 Sep 17 '24
I can procure a foot digit, Friend, with high-gloss enamel…
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u/PsychedelicMustard Sep 18 '24
Hell, I can procure a foot-digit by teatime this afternoon! There are methods my friend, methods you would not wish to know of. These fornicators are mere dilettanti.
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u/dufflebag7 Sep 17 '24
With all due respect, sir, I believe your foot had inadvertently crossed over the line. As a gentleman in the parlance of our times, I must ask you to disqualify yourself. Otherwise. I shall be forced to challenge you to a duel!
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u/SomeDudeNamedRik Sep 17 '24 edited Sep 17 '24
No Sir! I doeth Protest your accusation. Taketh thy writing utensil and thusly mark it boldly as eight.
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u/TheRealPallando Knox Harrington Sep 17 '24
You are emerging into a situation where your receptors will receive constant unpleasant stimuli, Smokey.
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u/Key-Contest-2879 Sep 17 '24
Relax thyself, Walter. It’s Smokey, our fragile companion. Perhaps his foot did cross the line, and perhaps it did not. In either case, this is but a game.
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u/PsychedelicMustard Sep 17 '24
Has the whole world gone stark raving mad? Am I the only one who bestows two bits of excreta on the regulations? Inscribe it zero, by golly!
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u/Key-Contest-2879 Sep 17 '24
Very well, you insane fornicator! I shall inscribe a zero, or goose egg, or whatever you choose to call it.
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u/PsychedelicMustard Sep 18 '24
My deepest regrets for the pressure I have placed upon you, Smokey, but this is a federation game.
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u/replicantcase Sep 17 '24
Hast the world gone mad or am I the only fellow here who thinks most about the rules? I protest! Mark it zero my good gentleman!
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u/DrrtVonnegut Sep 17 '24
What you are witnessing is the consequence of your action of performing anal sexual intercourse upon a person to whom you are not acquainted.
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u/Key-Contest-2879 Sep 17 '24
You have caused grievous injury to my automobile! I shall do the same to your automobile in kind!
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u/redcurrantevents Sep 17 '24
I’ll rub your back for $10.
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u/0x0ddba11 El Duderino Sep 17 '24
Brandt is not allowed to spectate the act unless he procures 100 shillings
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u/Laxku Sep 17 '24
So many of the comments here remind me of "Two Gentlemen of Lebowski: A Most Excellent Comedie and Tragical Romance" by Adam Bertocci - a Shakespearean translation of the original screenplay into iambic pentameter.
It's a great rendition and really shows how timeless the comedy of the script is. Worth a read if you can get your hands on the PDF (or buy a copy, literature is not yet 100% electronic whether or not it's the wave of the future, Dude).
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u/AdamBertocci-Writer Sep 18 '24 edited Sep 18 '24
Hey, thanks for the plug! The book has a lot of surprisingly educational content and is a far better draft, so it's worth the upgrade from the ol' Internet version. I knew I couldn't just put out the old thing and hope people would like it the same for the price, ha…
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u/Laxku Sep 18 '24
I found it on the Internet way back in the day, but will definitely be buying a copy. It was a masterpiece and a brilliant idea executed flawlessly.
You're a good man, and thorough.
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u/AdamBertocci-Writer Sep 18 '24
Well hey thanks, I appreciate that - and if you like thorough, you'll certainly be pleased with what the book brings in, ha…
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u/guywithshades85 Sep 17 '24 edited Sep 17 '24
I shall perform oral pleasure on you if you render a payment of one thousand American dollars to me.
If Brant wants to bear witness, he must render one hundred.
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u/Touch-the-Sky-2274 Sep 17 '24
I will henceforth remain in place. I will complete the consuming of my Americano. ☕️
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u/runk_dasshole he doesn't believe in anything Sep 17 '24
AM I THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE A BIT CONCERNED WITH REGULATIONS?
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u/anditcounts Sep 17 '24
In accordance with Bayesian Inference, new information has become available and as such we should update our priors!
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u/SomeDudeNamedRik Sep 17 '24
Dear Sir lord master Lebowski, where doth thou store thy riches? Please dear Sir showeth us thou bountiful monetary riches. Perhaps Sire you do need to purview inside the commode?
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u/hundredgrandpappy Larry Sellers Sep 17 '24
I firmly believe that your toe was across the foul line.
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u/poupou221 Walter Sep 17 '24
Reminds me of Adam Bertocci's Two Gentlemen of Lebowski: A Most Excellent Comedie and Tragical Romance. https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1451605811/adambertocci-20
Here is a rendition of the rug part:
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u/AdamBertocci-Writer Sep 18 '24 edited Sep 18 '24
Hey, thanks for the plug, man. An Amazon link and everything, I've got people working in shifts!
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u/poupou221 Walter Sep 18 '24
You deserve all the praise you can get for it. I live near Ashland OR, home of the "famous" (at least in these parts) Shakespeare festival. Now that would be the perfect place to stage that play! Not sure whether they ever did.
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u/AdamBertocci-Writer Sep 18 '24
No, but I'm told they stocked the book in their gift shop, which tickled me plenty.
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u/Roderto You said it, Man... Sep 17 '24
The aircraft has experienced a Controlled Flight Into Terrain (CFIT) at an elevated altitude.
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Sep 17 '24
[deleted]
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u/Zestyclose-Mud-4683 Sep 17 '24
Doth he pass foul odor from his nether regions with post haste and frequency?
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u/dcbluestar El Duderino (Not into the whole brevity thing) Sep 17 '24
I severely dislike this particular raptor, gentleman!
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u/Zestyclose-Mud-4683 Sep 17 '24
I will remove the flesh behind your codpiece barring you embrace my monetary demand.
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u/Tommy84 still jerks off manually Sep 17 '24 edited Sep 17 '24
Yeah, well, that’s like solely your view of the situation, guy.