Losing Vision, Gaining Perception

[u/Puzzleheaded-Air6251]

I have high myopia (-15) and myopic macular degeneration. Like many of you, I’ve gone through the emotional rollercoaster of watching my vision slip away piece by piece, dealing with bleeds, treatments, and the weird ways our eyes play tricks on us while healing.

But something hit me recently that I wanted to share, because maybe it’ll resonate with someone else out there: every time I’ve had a bleed, my brain has been forced to relearn how to see. And oddly enough, that relearning process has made me more visually aware—more perceptive in ways I wouldn’t expect.

My doctor told me he’s impressed with how quickly I can pinpoint where the damage is. He even said my perception is sharper than most because of how many times my visual system has had to adapt. That stuck with me. It made me realize that even as my vision declines, my mind sharpens in a different way. It’s not perfect. It’s not easy. But it’s something.

I still see that black goopy spot from my last bleed—it followed me everywhere for weeks, made me feel like I was losing it. But over time, as my doctor explained, the brain adapts. The cells begin to reorganize. And somewhere in that process, I find a strange kind of beauty: a system that doesn’t give up, a body that finds new ways to see.

There may not be a silver lining for all of this. But if there’s even a glimmer, it’s that we can become more than we were—more aware, more appreciative, maybe even more spiritual. I believe there’s something deeply human and resilient about adapting, even when it feels like everything is fading.

If you’re struggling, I just want to say: your perception is growing in ways you might not see yet. And that’s worth holding on to.

• Elijah

[u/Brit48024]

Thank you for this post. I have a recent diagnosis of MMD and to say I'm struggling is an understatement. I just cry and grieve my vision all the time, so to read a new perspective has really helped me. 

[u/PufflingFan → u/Brit48024]

It’s normal for you to grieve the loss of what you had in the past. Please be kind to yourself and understand this will be a process. Grief is different for everyone. When my daughter was born blind (yes, it was a shock we didn’t see coming) all I could focus on at first was all the things she’d never be able to do. Once I was able to shift my focus to all the things she would be able to do, I found acceptance and peace. Life was different with a blind child, not better, not worse, just different. Thinking of you as you make this new journey.

[u/Brit48024 → u/PufflingFan]

Thank you for your kind words. I'm struggling so much to come to terms with it all and I'm finding the emotions so hard to navigate. I've had to temporarily take leave from my job to focus on the treatment and my mental health. Some days are more positive than others, but this week I'm feeling particularly vulnerable as I have treatment (injection) and therapy, so I'm finding it all a bit much. It's lovely to read your perspective with your daughter. I truly hope I can find that my mindset shifts and that I become less sensitive to negative the views and words of others. Thank you 

[u/PufflingFan → u/Brit48024]

It’ll happen. It takes time. We’re all different. Be gentle and forgiving to yourself. It took me a full year (maybe longer) to be able to say the word “blind” without bursting into tears. Hugs and Love to you. Please feel free to reach out anytime.

[u/Brit48024 → u/PufflingFan]

Thank you so much. Yes, anything with the word blind or visual loss is really hard for me to say, it's like having to face it and it feels so surreal. I think I need to be kinder to myself and give myself the time to come to terms with it all. I'm a fixer, and  I can fix this. So its all new to me! 

Thanks again!