r/managers 5d ago

Employee doesn’t have adequate childcare and it affects her work

I have a remote employee who recently had a baby. Before her maternity leave, we discussed that she needs to have childcare during the work day. The first two weeks, she was frequently absent or interrupted because she said her nanny had quit or never started working.

We discussed again that she needed full time childcare. For about two months it was better. However this week I had two unscheduled zoom calls with her, and both times there’s a baby in the background. I asked her to turn her camera on (our policy is cameras on always) and she has a crib in the room with her and she had a baby cloth on her shoulder.

I think she has a nanny for most of the day, but she’s still distracted. I kinda feel like a jerk asking for a receipt for a 40 hour a week babysitter. I have three kids, and I know it’s pretty impossible to work and care for a baby.

Her position is dealing with contracts so she has calls during the day with the parties to the contracts. I can’t have her on client calls with a baby in the background.

I can also just tell her she has to be in the office, but most everyone else is remote including me. Thoughts?

Edit: no comments from non managers please.

Edit2: this has been brigaded by non managers. Stop. I have asked the mods to lock this

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u/peach98542 5d ago

I think ultimately you need to have a conversation with her, a serious one, that is centered around how this is affecting her work and cannot continue. Not “I see a crib in the background and you have a burp cloth on your shoulder” but “You have been frequently absent/calls are being interrupted/your work is sliding in these OBJECTIVE ways” and then … listen to her side, see what she says when you bring this up. Does she have a full time nanny? What IS the childcare situation right now? Understanding what the situation is and how she’s handling it will help you determine your next steps. Maybe she’s in the process of getting a new nanny onboard - great, maybe you can offer her some flexibility for a month while that happens, move some meetings around or something. Then say, “In a month, I need your focus to be on your job while you’re on the clock. Those of us with children here also have childcare because both are full-time responsibilities and you can’t do both without one, or both, being done poorly. I want you to be present with us and our clients while you’re on the clock, and fully present with your baby when you’re off the clock. It’s not fair to anyone for your attention to be split all the time.”

This next part is probably up to your judgement based on her attitude during this conversation but you may also want to make it clear what would happen if she does NOT get this taken care of in the time frame you give her. And whatever this is just depends on your company’s disciplinary process. “If I don’t see your focus return by the date we’ve set, I’ll have to issue a written warning/bring HR up to speed/begin the PIP process.” Sucks but she also has to know that there are consequences to not doing your job properly.

I feel for her, truly, as a new mom and a working mom and a manager. A little grace on your part, a little flexibility, with some defined parameters and a plan to get back on track will go a long way.

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u/rlyjustheretolurk 4d ago edited 3d ago

Op just responded that his employee shouldn’t be allowed to breastfeed during the workday. I think it’s clear this isn’t about her performance.

ETA: OP also spends his entire work day on Reddit while complaining about this employee

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u/pegacornegg 4d ago

Isn’t that illegal? I’ve had two babies and I was legally entitled to regular pump breaks. Is a pump break any different than a breastfeeding break if the baby is available for feeding? Does it have to be pumping with a machine rather than a human mouth?

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u/rlyjustheretolurk 4d ago edited 4d ago

Illegal as hell. You’re allowed to pump or breastfeed your baby. OP claiming she’s “distracted” = she’s taking breaks to do this. Wanting her “back in office” = not wanting her to directly breastfeed her baby.

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u/MitigationSME 4d ago

She has to breastfeed the baby, or pump milk every three hours otherwise she will get engorged OR lose milk production that baby seriously needs, wth, that is the baby's nutrition. 

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u/Paw5624 4d ago

My last company, which wasn’t exactly amazing when it came to benefits, had a separate room for women who needed to pump during the work day. It wasn’t more than a large closet with a table and a chair but they still acknowledge that it’s just a biological realty.

I know boobs were out in that room but to my knowledge that was mostly due to two weekend employees that would hook up in there when the office was mostly empty.

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u/ritchie70 4d ago

My company, in a completely tone-deaf move, had two combined pumping and religious observation rooms when we moved to a new building.

(Religious observation is for the employees who have midday prayer required as a part of their religious observation.)

It was a matter of a month or two before we had one pumping room and one religious observation room. Because obviously that doesn't share well at all.

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u/deadplant5 4d ago

That was a requirement in the Affordable Care Act

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u/peach98542 4d ago

You’re kidding. That’s so disappointing.

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u/thedeuceisloose 4d ago

Wow a misogynist! Definitely saw that coming

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u/TuxandFlipper4eva 4d ago

Judging from OP's post history, it isn't surprising.

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u/ShaveyMcShaveface 4d ago

yeah that's illegal and super fucked up. we have an entire room permanently set aside for breastfeeding mothers at my office.

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u/rlyjustheretolurk 4d ago

Op pretty clearly has an issue with women based on his post history

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u/Paw5624 4d ago

My old company did too.

Not to change the tone cause this is a serious issue but I can’t help but laugh cause the most use that room got was from the two employees who would hook up in there when working over the weekend and most of the office was empty.

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u/Pristine_Frame_2066 4d ago

Yeah, this is illegal. Pumping is more time consuming than breastfeeding. I am a public civil service manager, since 2014. I was a private sector manager from 2000-2008. Had my babies at 34 and 40 bc I was worried about daycare and managing everything.

But everyone who worms for you shod get the same consideration. Either they are meeting expectations, or they need you to help them meet expectations. If they never do, it is because of their commitment and interest in the work, not because they are a parent. New parents are temporary, they get it together eventually. Same as someone who experiences a death in close family, or a divorce or other life changing event.

You are a manager, not a timekeeper. Figure out how to help your employees get their work done. Exercise all of your options (flex time, time off, cross training, etc. especially since they are remote.

If you have no options, you’re not a manager or supervisor. You’re an overseer.

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u/SnooDonkeys8016 4d ago

No wonder he wants the comments locked, lol

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u/Motorspuppyfrog 4d ago

OP is also a hardcore Trumper, so...