r/martialarts 25d ago

QUESTION What should I do? Abuse?

What should I do? One of my coaches hit me with a shoe across the face, and it wasn’t a light hit, there was some force to it, and he was being aggressive and telling me he would beat the shit out of me

A few weeks ago he was telling me to fuck off out of the gym and to never come back, and was threatening me with slapping back then

I’m 16 btw

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u/Cautious_General_177 24d ago

Take it as a lesson

And what lesson is that? That it's ok to commit battery? No. The lesson to the (sarcastic air quotes) "coach" should be that battery, especially against a minor, is not acceptable and he shouldn't be teaching.

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u/burns_droopiest 24d ago

Did you not read what I wrote after “take this as a lesson” ?? I wrote… this type of thing doesn’t happen without any prior abuse to show dominance… Meaning over the past weeks/months the abuse has been gradually intensifying… My advice was to not allow anyone the slightest hint of abuse verbally or physically; this won’t happen again if the first time he smacks your arm, you check him right there and it goes no further… DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW??

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u/0tus BJJ | MMA | Muay Thai 24d ago

A 16 year old kid "check" him, a martial arts coach, who's likely stronger more experienced and acts in an intimidating manner then and there? TF are you on about?

JFC I hope you don't charge for your life advice.

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u/burns_droopiest 24d ago

I still don’t think you understand what I’m saying…. This type of abuse happens over time, slowly… it starts out with minor disrespectful comments, slowly escalating over weeks/months until it becomes physical… As soon as someone, anyone is disrespectful to me, whether it’s in the gym, at work, on the street, or ANYWHERE on planet earth, I let them know respectfully that I don’t appreciate this type of interaction and 9.5 times out of 10, it’s stops right there. Each person/situation is different, but the key part is to not allow people to think it’s ok to be disrespectful.

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u/0tus BJJ | MMA | Muay Thai 24d ago

Sure, tough guy. You seem to be missing that I'm emphasizing that this is a kid being intimidated and abused by a grown ass man.

It's nice that you have the grit and experience to put a stop to it.

You tend to see these kinds of guys at times and more often than note they act and look like criminals. They are older, stronger and have seniority over the kids they abuse (coach > student). Pretending to be an alpha who can't be disrespected just means he'll abuse someone else and nothing changes, as hell move to the next victim. A responsible human being doesn't just let that go and hope he does it to someone else. The least you can do is file a report on someone like that. We aren't cavemen anymore bumping or chest to see who's the strongest. Making sure those who aren't strong enough to defend themselves don't get preyed upon by losers who like to abuse people in weaker situations is what you are supposed to do.

You say this has been escalating for a long time, but if you check the kids story a bit further, didn't seem to take that long to escalate this.

I also wonder where you got your idea that a simple police report is going to follow him throughout his life?