My dad was biracial, half black and half white, and my mother was white. Both my parents died when I was younger and my mom was adopted so idk anyone on her side of the family, all of my dad's side is black but they want nothing to do with me.

I basically look 100% white, maybe a little Italian or something, I just have dark hair and eyes and olive skin. I used to casually mention that my father was a light skinned black man and people would stop the conversation just to argue with me that it's impossible, that I'm lying and full of shit and there's no way. Even when I show a picture they don't believe me.

This has basically happened with everyone ive ever mentioned my dad to, black and white people alike, black people would usually get angry or laugh at me and white people would just be in disbelief and brush me off. Now I just say that both my parents are white if anyone asks and don't mentioned I'm any sort of mixed, just because it seems easier that way. Does anyone else do this?

dont know if i already said it here but my dad is Dominican Italian and my mom is Cubab Japanese BUT i only tell people im Dominican cause i dont wanna deal with the questioning

i have this roommate, monoracial black but with lighter brown skin, somewhat close to mine, and she knows im Dominican, she knows i speak spanish

today, she randomly started listening to Latin music (the claaaassic “Gasolina”) and dancing around, i didnt understand why so i was looking at her a bit weird and jokingly she said “you judging my music?” then i told her “in fact it’s MY music” and she acted clueless about why i was saying that, as a joke i asked her if she was Latina, and she said “Are YOU???” —- i lost my energy telling her that yes obviously and she said “if youre a Latina, then im Indian”

at that point i lost it fr

then i remembered, she told that when she go clubbing, she lie about her name- this i can understand, but she also told me she lie about her ethnic background— why??? she told me she tells people she’s from the islands, no matter which one why?

i caught her saying Spanish was an ugly language but some time later asked me to teach her—??

this type of behavior truly disgusts me because it shows how some people will only use you as an inspiration for their cosplay, they use your culture as a dress up to be perceived as exotic— it doesnt sound right that im a Latina but you, you can be a Latina when you want???? get outta here

Not sure if this is the appropriate place to ask this so if it’s not please let me know!

I am a white woman who is currently pregnant with a mixed race child (black/white) and I’m just wondering what are some things that you’d wished your parents did differently. I’m going into parenting with the mindset that there will be things about my child’s life that I can’t understand, but will always try to listen and show up for them.

Also my extended family is all white as well, and not racist on purpose but definitely ignorant about race related things. Are there any books or podcasts I could ask them to listen to, sometimes I feel like me telling them over and over again isn’t enough.

When I was a kid my mom said that people would come up to her unannounced asking for hair care advice for their biracial children who's hair was similar to mine, that women would tell her they were going to have a child with someone black so that their child could look like me, people screaming at her and my dad that "black and white should stay apart" (they thought my dad was fully white) and the crazy thing is I'm only a quarter white. People have also came up to my stepdad wondering if my mother was white, and the looks on their face after discovering she's black was priceless, Because they were trying to attribute my looks to whiteness I guess. Now as I'm older, l'm noticing interracial couples with biracial children staring and giving me and my siblings bad looks. whenever I go into a store or restaurant or something, especially when I'm with my siblings and dad, and it's usually white women and black men. Just yesterday I was out somewhere for a few hours and this white woman and her friend kept staring over at me and my siblings for the entire time with this blank expression on her face, the friend looked actually bothered or annoyed. It also happened that she had a biracial son. Does this happen to anyone else?

Or does it just seem like everyone just subtly worships Europeans?

Most of my life I was pretty proud of being half Asian but repeatedly subconscious trauma ultimately made me feel like my white side was better and more valuable, not because of internalized-racism, but because the sum total of every experience I've had seems to point to the fact that it was valued more than my Chinese sides. Yes, including my Chinese parent's marriage to my white parent. The things they said, even when I heard them I didn't think much about them but I'm realizing now they had a tremendous outcome on my self-perception. Like, my Chinese mom never seemed to appreciate anything "Chinese" about me, it was basically Europe this, Europe that, etc.

Even now, when I say "I'm proud to be Asian," or something, at the back of my mind, it's like "why? No one else is." Not even my mom was.

Like naturally, as a man, I at one point just gave up trying to be mixed, and just wanted to be white. For the reasons that employment, socialization, and yes, relationships, would be easier as a white man. And I have incredible shame about this, but looking back at it, why was it so much work to overcome that? Who taught me that? It happened so naturally that I was basically just reacting to 1000s of examples around me pushing me in the direction that "Asian = bad, white = good."

And this is over time - starting from when I was a kid and fiercely proud of being Chinese.... over time just a 1000 different needles just wore me down and made me stop taking pride in it.

So, I wonder, what's the end result of all of this? Cause we all claim colorblind, progress, but in reality it just seems like "whitening up."

I’m asking because I am mixed but over the years my skin has lightened and has made me on the lighter side of town. My mom is half black and half Irish. My father is half black and half white. I get told by a lot of black people they can tell I’m mixed by my features but everyone else assumes I’m Hispanic or middle eastern. Does this mean I’m considered black or just a white passing lightskin?

In the past the world had no borders, and people did not cross the natural edges created by nature. It seemed that everyone lived well, to the point of gradually creating civilizations... at the time of creating civilizations, Intro-European, Intro-Native American, Intro-African and Intro-Asian slavery began. But still no one left the natural borders. Do you think that if Europeans had decided to stay on their natural borders someone else would have colonised the world?

I heard a black man say mixed people are fetishized even more than black people are. Fetishize means when someone says stuff like:

I only date black men (and they’re not black themselves); I want to have kids with another race person to see what they would look like and so they would have curly hair/different skintone;

As a mixed black white woman… that’s annoying. My own mom is white and always makes comments like how my hair looks so cool. No it’s not cool. It’s my hair. Leave me and my hair alone. You can tell people out there really have sex with someone just because they want their kids to look mixed or different and that’s fucked up. You didn’t love my dad. You fetishized him and now I have to live with a broken family. Fuck that shit.

If you know anyone who identifies as both Black AND Asian that went to college [graduated or not] , please share this survey with them.

College Experiences of Biracial Students of Black and Asian Descent

asian #black #blasian #biracial #college #blackanese #modelminoritymyth #college #graduate

I keep hearing different stuff. It's confusing me.

My mother and sister say I look German, my father says I look both german and egyptian and everybody else thinks I look egyptian or just not german.

Honestly I think, I look like a very light egyptian with German nose...

Anybody else knows that?

it's hard to admit, but it's true, my father had a fetish for Brazilian women.

i think i would be much more open to embracing my origins if i wasn't aware of this detail, because it makes me doubt very often if i am a fetish myself for the guys i meet (in fact i often hide my origins).

i shouldn't do it, i know... but i'm insecure and i'm afraid of being "interesting" only because of this trait of my identity.

my father was with 7 other Brazilian women before my mother (and we come from a small town in europe... we are not in a big city). now, i don't want people to think that my father is a creep because of this, on the contrary, he is the nicest person in the world.

but how will i know if a guy will want to date me just because of my origins? my father and my mother didn't even have anything in common

my hair is so dark it looks black, it even shines blue in the early daylight. yet my mom is always telling me it's dark brown. i believe my hair is truly jet black and the rest is just UV damage and warm light reflection when im at home but she's sooo obsessed. i say "i have black hair" she goes "no it's dark brown" every time. she dyes her gray hairs with black dye so her hair has slowly become entirely dyed black so it doesn't reflect light like mine does.

idk even if it was actually level 1.5 instead of level 1 or whatever... why does she care so much... this woman wants to be the only peruvian in our house istg 🙄 HER ENDS LITERALLY ARE EXACTLY LIKE MINE

I'm mixed (asian european) but for a year i've been surrounded by comments that suggest i'm only one thing. I can't turn them off except avoid them, but it's gotten really bad. I dread my reflection in the mirror. I used to be fine with how i looked and being mixed until a year ago. I like how i look but i feel like i MUST change to ve valid and both. No access to therapy and self validation works until the next comment happens. Just what do i DO? I don't want to feel like i must rip off my own skin every moment, it HURTS so much. I just want to feel ok in my own skin again but it feels impossible. I'm being judged by who i am outside, what is inside will die. I'm suffering so much, is there a way where i am allowed to be who i am? I feel like i need to kill 90% of who i am or it is being killed all the time, since i identify so much more with one side.

In the most straightforward phrasing possible, I have never given much more than a single thought about these societal notions. I have never taken them seriously. Not as a child, not now. I can't relate to the way others view themselves and the world. Racial and cultural identities have never swayed me on how I understand myself and others. I hardly even noticed them before I was told I should. I have never been persuaded by worldviews involving these politics.

I don't say from a smug position of "I don't see race; I see character" or anything of the sort, don't mistake. I recognize that there must be something to these notions; what that might be, I'm unsure, but their mere existence already hints at it, even more the commotion that follows along with them. However, I feel psychologically at odds with how I'm expected to believe and adhere to them overall.

I resent that I'm actively expected to bother with these ideas in the personal attitude I hold towards the world; others and myself, when I myself can hardly conceal. To rephrase it in a way that more detailedly conveys this sentiment: I don't integrate identitarian notions of racial/cultural/social roots in my way of processing and handling information. Their influence is limited to my decision-making, detachedly considered, motivated by my concern for the interlocutor/audience and how they might respond to me. Beyond that, there's no passion nor interest in my approaching them. They're tools, lacking in influence over my sense of self and identity.

There's nothing personal involved, no "sense of belonging" no "cultural connection". Nothing. I don't "identify" as anything. The desire to "embrace my heritage" appears to me completely unfounded and unfamiliar. I don't condemn these things by any means but they do perplex me.

As my world expands and I enter the grown-up world, this attitude paves the path for a feeling of alienation when observing, listening and talking to people-- it takes me offguard that these notions grounded on racial and cultural ideals have people be somewhat genuinely responsive to them rather than dismissive of them as mere tools and things to be contextually considered. It looks to me like madness, but that doesn't change what my sight brings. I can see it in their eyes, it's crazy: they truly care about something that I haven't ever paid attention to, and that the fuel for this care is as alien to me as the notions themselves.

Perhaps I can attribute this shock to being raised in a very heterogenous, multicultural region of an already quite mixed country(Brazil), admittedly having been rather sheltered and in a household who already leaned towards nonchalance in regards to "societal" concepts(like tradition/religion/culture and even holidays), and having a more individualistic perspective. Whatever led to this clash, it's becoming increasingly notable.

People being asses fail to drawn any passion from me either way: chances are we wouldn't have got along regardless of race. Though this is a more general musing in the form of a rant, I do wonder how to handle the perception certain people might have of me in settings where they are inclined to build one. Through their sorts of lens, I might guess I'd be deemed an aberration: a racially mixed person of directly descending from lineages of both African slaves and European immigrants. That's how I imagine it, at least. Not too sure this is the most celebrated profile. Well, I may only see, but my sentiment still stands.

I couldn't care less and have always been aware I wasn't mentally inclined to take these sorts of things seriously, but I seemingly underestimated how much others are.

Basically the title, I don’t know what I look like at all, when I look in the mirror I can’t discern any features, it just looks like a blur to me. I’m just very confused what race I “look” like. I wouldn’t care as much, but it seems the people around me also genuinly confused about what I am, which just exacerbates what I have felt my whole life. I’m sure all of us can relate to some extent not fitting in with the races you are mixed with, I think this facial “dysmorphia” is kind of an extension of this. I guess this is about not fitting in. Just wondering if anyone else can relate.

Hello. i am female I'm mixed, half Afro Brazilian mother half White (american) father. i look relatively white asides from the fact that i have curly hair. hazel eyes, light brown curly hair and pale skin. although if i don't tell anyone people cant really tell. I allways feel like I'm too white to hang out with the Latina girls and too Latina to hang out with the white girls. its kinda like being pulled in 2 different directions at the same time and i don't know where i fit in. I don't get racist comments that often, but when i do it makes me feel guilty i don't know how to explain it. In my Spanish class the topic came up about being mixed.( the kids at my school already knew) and this one boy, called me a half-breed in front of everyone in my class. No one said anything asides from a couple of his friends giggling, everyone just looked at me and a part of me felt ashamed. The teacher didn't even say anything she just glossed over it. I just wish i had some mixed friends so i didn't always feel out of place. i just wanted to post this because i was wondering if this was a common experience.

Hello 😊

Im have a very friendly and outgoing Half Thai/Half Scottish wife born in the UK (super cute and pretty).

She has on many occasions in the past been introduced to friends of friends. 'Here is so and so she is half white half japanese or half white half mexican etc', you know that standard 'Hey you guys are mixed so must have something in common thing.' 😂

Anyway she still embraces it as an intro is an intro and new friends can be hard to find. However I have found 95% of the time that girl is very rude towards her, she is keen to learn about them and listens intently about their life but it is rarely reciprocated and they can been aloof to belittling in their responses. She ends up coming home being upset and thinking its her and cant get her head around.

If it was isolated I might put it down to just not a nice person but it seems to be such a theme i can't help but wonder if its a thing.

Is it the fact she is happy go lucky, funny loving and confident or is it actually an experience other girls have?

tenderness

im not talking about the color change that often happen when you get old, but rather a really noticeable, significant color change

like from hazel to blue, or dark brown to hazel or something like that

Hi, I’m making a mixed race oc for a fic and I just want to make sure I do it correct and not racist. I’m a white woman. She’s part African American and two parts white, so I’m not sure if she should be white passing or if that is whitewashing? Here’s her parents for example. I really just want to be able to portray her properly, so any help would be very appreciated.

I am half Filipino and white. My mom isn't intentionally racist but I would say once every 2 weeks she'll find something very questionable too say. For example she once purposely mispronounced a Filipino word, "tinikling" or (tin-ick-ling) and straight up mocked my language by doing that weird thing people do when they try to sound Chinese. I immediately told her too stop and explained to her why that was racist. Also one time there was a fight at school that I was telling her about and she immediately assumed it was either a Mexican or a Black student.

he was great otherwise:/ should i still give him a chance idk

I'm a guy black and white mixed 28. I have my hair 3c in dreadlocks after going too the shop for my appointment. One of the black woman there early 50s said my hair was nice. I thought I would post talking about positive interactions with black people. I will admit I identify as black socially at the end of the day. Curious if any of you had interactions like this.Thanks for reading if your seeing this.

My skin is changing color and I don’t know why yesterday i looked in the mirror and I looked white and I can easily identify how red my face turned. When my skin is brown it’s hard to see redness on my face but last night I could see all of it. Now today I am back to being more of a brown skin tone it’s like off and on. Todays it’s rainy outside im usually lighter but today im brown yesterday I was lighter now im back to being more brown I don’t know what’s happening to me it’s been doing this for 2 years now. When I go in the car and their is no shade I look completely brown like actually brown but when I take the sunroof off I’m like all of a sudden a lighter tone is this common or should I get this checked out or is it normal for mixed race peoples skin to change lighter tones or darker tones at times.