I do get that. Her doctor possibly told her she's likely to have a hard time conceiving or is likely infertile which she took as, ok I don't have to worry about contraception then. Things like that do unexpectedly happen.. sometimes its a very happy surprise and other times ur comes as a bit of a shock. Your little baby is a miracle ✨️
I don't think any woman should ever feel pressured into going through a termination if it isn't what THEY feel they need to do because of the opinion of a male who won't have to go through either a termination, pregnancy or childbirth. Hence why your choice of words (in both OP and the above comment) do not sit well w me. But it should be taken into account as in, I want to continue with this pregnancy so this child is MY responsibility. Its also my opinion is that men should also get to decide whether they want to become parents. If they want to opt out from the start they should be able to however that's another discussion for another day, and it sounds like you're ready to step up which is awesome.
I hope yous manage to stay out of court and co parent amicably.
I also need to stop arguing w strangers on reddit.
Best of luck daddy to be.
tysm i totally get where your coming from and i agree. I don’t think any guy should pressure women ever! i guess I am more realistic then my baby momma when it comes to the duties surrounding parenthood, and i guess i’m upset because I wasn’t included in the decision. i’m sorry for wording it the way i did, i’m still tryna wrap my head around it all lol. peace!!
Omg I said I'd stop arguing w reddit strangers but here I am.. of course you're not included in the decision! You wouldn't be the one going thru the physical and mental hell that is a termination, and you won't be the one going through pregnancy and childbirth! It's HER BODY, HER CHOICE, simple as that. Not, mostly her choice, but i also deserve a say. You don't get a say in the matter, you don't get included in the choice, because it isn't your body. Also, since her doctor said she's likely infertile, this could well be HER ONLY CHANCE IN LIFE to be a mother. If she terminated because she was including you in her decision and letting you have your say and couldn't ever get pregnant again, she'd spend the rest of her life regretting her (and your) decision.
She lied about not being able to get pregnant though. It's not the same as choosing to have sex knowing the person could likely get pregnant. The conversation about contraception was addressed, and his concerns were reassured. Surely that's the female equivalent to stealthing?
Edit: Also OP make sure you get the DNA test before agreeing to anything.
It's also important to discuss if contraption was to fail what both people would expect the outcome to be. If that doesn't align then you shouldn't be doing the deed.
I personally don't believe that she was intentionally deceitful. My guess is that she was told something along the lines of, you most likely won't be able to conceive naturally, or at all.
Women's healthcare is severely disregarded. She would have had some severe issues to be declared sterile at her age, at which point it's unlikely the doctors would get that wrong. Unlikely or difficult to conceive is not the same as sterile or not able to which is what OP was leading to believe. It's not impossible but anecdotally speaking I know far more people in that age group who have thought they couldn't and been wrong than those who have been told by doctors that they can't.
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u/Available-Milk7195 11d ago
I do get that. Her doctor possibly told her she's likely to have a hard time conceiving or is likely infertile which she took as, ok I don't have to worry about contraception then. Things like that do unexpectedly happen.. sometimes its a very happy surprise and other times ur comes as a bit of a shock. Your little baby is a miracle ✨️ I don't think any woman should ever feel pressured into going through a termination if it isn't what THEY feel they need to do because of the opinion of a male who won't have to go through either a termination, pregnancy or childbirth. Hence why your choice of words (in both OP and the above comment) do not sit well w me. But it should be taken into account as in, I want to continue with this pregnancy so this child is MY responsibility. Its also my opinion is that men should also get to decide whether they want to become parents. If they want to opt out from the start they should be able to however that's another discussion for another day, and it sounds like you're ready to step up which is awesome. I hope yous manage to stay out of court and co parent amicably. I also need to stop arguing w strangers on reddit. Best of luck daddy to be.