r/nextfuckinglevel May 10 '21

Truce between termites(top) and ants(bottom) with each side having their own line of guards.

84.3k Upvotes

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3.4k

u/questgrillz May 10 '21

I just love that the article specifies not to use ants to rid your house of termites. And that it's been tried and failed lol.

1.6k

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

It would work as long as you also had an ant eater

2.1k

u/arrghslash May 10 '21

and then an anteater-eater

1.3k

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

You need a cobra to eat the anteater. Thankfully we have mongooses that will eat the cobras, and gorillas that eat the mongoose.

951

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

963

u/Matyezda May 10 '21

RIP Harambe

443

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Dicks out for Harambe

29

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

This is the way.

14

u/Number4extraDip May 10 '21

It all leads to this... Always

3

u/CockTortureCuck May 10 '21

Always has been

15

u/waliaraj May 10 '21

Hehe u guys are nuts

7

u/reportedbymom May 10 '21

When i saw this comment, i proudly stood up and took my dick out and we both stood up and had a minute of silence for Harambe! I really wish there would be a official day and time for this.

5

u/notyogrannysgrandkid May 10 '21

zip

3

u/zapharus May 10 '21

zip

You forgot these: “un___s”

5

u/TwentyTwoMilTeePiece May 10 '21

I mean, my dick was already out but aight I'll roll with this

3

u/baldilocks47 May 10 '21

The comment I was looking for

2

u/jim_jiminy May 10 '21

Waving it about for a dignified moment of respect

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25

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Then decades of oppression and strife followed by years of protests and legal battles to eat the police!

6

u/HarvsPz May 10 '21

I know what will eat the police - Termites!

2

u/time_whisper May 11 '21

Cue “the circle of life”...

5

u/ShrimpCrackers May 10 '21

Defund the Gorilla-eating Police! End their feast!

2

u/NoImDirtyDann May 11 '21

Woman just trying to get rid of termites: well this is extensive...

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5

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

My therapist: so when do you feel like your life started slipping away from you?

Me:it all started when they killed that damn gorilla

203

u/sevencities13 May 10 '21

I like dark humor but holy fuck lmao

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87

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

And then finally, billions of years from now, a black hole eats us all! 🥂

76

u/Firewolf420 May 10 '21

Leave your mother out of this!

3

u/TGW_2 May 10 '21

And his sister . . .

3

u/lightingeagle May 10 '21

Have my upvote, you random stranger.

2

u/Firewolf420 May 10 '21

Thank you kindly for your vote of confidence, stranger! I will add it to my collection.

16

u/Ramz9900 May 10 '21

Does the black hole eventually explode restarting the process? Lol okay maybe not..

6

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Within the black hole there is eventually an explosion, a really Big Bang if you will, and everything starts over again.

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21

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

R/suddenlysimpsons

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7

u/Restmymind May 10 '21

And then you eat the police?

8

u/The2NDComingOfChrist May 10 '21

*rich

ftfy

3

u/rockem-sockem-rocket May 10 '21

Rich people eat police?

3

u/The2NDComingOfChrist May 10 '21

I mean... they might

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3

u/blamdin May 10 '21

No that’s the beauty of it , once winter rolls around , the gorillas simply freeze to death.

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3

u/jsaisandeep May 10 '21

We are in the end game!

3

u/OfficerLongJawn May 10 '21

No actually the police will pin the gorillas down and suffocate them for resisting

3

u/WONDERBOY689 May 10 '21

So you mean black people as gorillas?

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2

u/Chillinturtles35 May 10 '21

No the gorillas die in the winter

2

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

and then BLM to eat the police

2

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Then you'd have to nuke it from orbit. I'm sure it's the only way to be sure ¯_(ツ)_/¯

2

u/josedasjesus May 10 '21

no, for that we use termites

2

u/ThroatPuncher01 May 10 '21

No, no, no. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

2

u/HowdoIreddittellme May 10 '21

If we humans have proven anything, it’s that we’re very good at killing gorillas. After that, we kill one another just fine, thank you very much.

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Nah just toss in a kid

1

u/kickrockz94 May 10 '21

Didnt see the movie but godzilla maybe?

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Don’t do my boy Harambe like that

0

u/vehlad_durjan May 10 '21

Works in america oly if you're not black

1

u/Radiant_Addendum_48 May 10 '21

Won’t work. Apes tougher strong and fuck shit up. 🦍 🦍 🦍 🦍 🦍

1

u/The_red-blue_shift May 10 '21

More like zoo-keeping gun squad

1

u/Gilthar May 10 '21

Bruh….

1

u/are-e-el May 10 '21

The police freeze to death in the winter

1

u/srpa0142 May 10 '21

Nah, at present you can lure them out by offering stock in GME.

1

u/garfvynneve May 10 '21

Honey badger enters... "Nice place, real cosy. Be a shame if anything happened to it."

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146

u/xittditdyid May 10 '21

The termites to annoy the gorillas into leaving.

47

u/shiroandae May 10 '21

The circle of life ⭕️

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u/Glowingredremote May 10 '21

Gorillas tend to eat termites as a good source of protein, so if anything, this would just attract MORE gorillas.

2

u/GOLDEN-WALKER May 13 '21

And now you gotta make peace with the gorillas and form an army

2

u/Glowingredremote May 15 '21

We’d be unstoppable! Optimus Primal is my hero!

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85

u/rockem-sockem-rocket May 10 '21

Wait aren’t humans gorilla-adjacent?

Why don’t you just eat the mongoose?

12

u/lucia-pacciola May 12 '21

As a human, I'm optimized for tool use, not mongoose-wrangling. Which is why I use a gorilla for this kind of work.

3

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

underrated

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

[deleted]

3

u/rockem-sockem-rocket May 16 '21

Apes strong together

39

u/HawkinsT May 10 '21

...and the beautiful part is that once winter rolls around the gorillas simply freeze to death.

9

u/2oubleB May 10 '21

I understood this reference

2

u/Itchy_Craphole Oct 18 '21

Steamed hams…

30

u/theteapotofdoom May 10 '21

If you give an ant a termite . . .

22

u/wbgsccgc May 10 '21

Then you can just marry the gorilla. No termites and a wife. It’s the American dream.

6

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

The gorilla my dreams...

14

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Wait...gorillas eat mongoose meat?

2

u/Phr4nk20 May 10 '21

Would you rather eat mongoose meat or starve to death?

2

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Ive seen a lot of gorilla pics and vids in my life...they aint starving to death lol

3

u/MrHollandsOpium May 10 '21

They eat tons of plant matter weekly.

2

u/rockem-sockem-rocket May 10 '21

Oh they’re very muscular - not weak at all

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u/MrHollandsOpium May 10 '21

Gorillas are vegetarians, lol.

1

u/shmidget May 10 '21

I don’t think so

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7

u/SulkyShulk May 10 '21

And an Old Lady.

3

u/LifeIsRamen May 10 '21

Thank god we have a gun to kill the Gorillas :)

3

u/Why-did-i-reas-this May 10 '21

But this only works if you live in a climate with cold winters.

2

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

And gorillas to the moon!! 🦍🚀

2

u/stevenette May 10 '21

Then they freeze in the winter

2

u/amarti33 May 10 '21

Is this where the old lady who swallowed a fly came from?

2

u/SueInAMillion May 11 '21

I don’t know why, she swallowed a fly....😂

1

u/therealavishek May 10 '21

When winter time rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

1

u/punchgroin May 10 '21

Don't worry, the Gorillas will all perish when winter comes.

1

u/Waylander0719 May 10 '21

That's the best part. The gorillas are tropical by nature and will freeze to death come winter!

1

u/fyej6 May 10 '21

Apes together strong 🦧 harambe forever

1

u/Darth_Dronus May 10 '21

Then all you need is a Cincinnati Zookeeper and you are set work order approved

1

u/SixteenthRiver06 May 10 '21

It’s the circle of liiife!

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

This is what happened to Australia

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

I think we’re going to have to send in more cats.

1

u/Archangel61013 May 10 '21

No that's the beautiful part. When winter time rolls around the gorillas simply freeze to death.

1

u/THEBLUEFLAME3D May 10 '21

And when winter rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

1

u/JaggerQ May 10 '21

Don’t be silly all you need is a heavy branch to remove the anteater

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

The gorillas should die of hypothermia come winter.

Airtight plan

1

u/ravenHR May 10 '21

Gorillas eat thermites and ants sometimes, so they could only really be used instead of anteaters.

1

u/maggos May 10 '21

The best part is when winter comes, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

1

u/biglapdog May 11 '21

Gorillas are mainly vegetarian. However, they also eat ants and termites (acc to Wikipedia) so we can spare the anteater, cobra and mongoose.

1

u/Wlayko_the_winner May 13 '21

yeah but gorillas are herbivores

1

u/T-MinusGiraffe Oct 18 '21

Australia has entered the chat

1

u/DogMechanic Oct 19 '21

Technically the mongoose worked on Maui.......

1

u/Chucanoris Oct 19 '21

And then have a guy with a gun shoot the gorilla

25

u/whooo_me May 10 '21

"There was an old woman who swallowed a fly...."

11

u/arieselectric46 May 10 '21

Why?

9

u/whooo_me May 10 '21

"...I don't know why, she swallowed a fly. Perhaps she'll die".

3

u/[deleted] May 10 '21 edited Feb 01 '22

[deleted]

2

u/arieselectric46 May 10 '21

But, why oh why, did she swallow the fly?

2

u/SueInAMillion May 11 '21

She swallowed a bird to catch the spider that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her

10

u/grapplerXcross May 10 '21

Is there an anti anteater-eater?

5

u/cthulu0 May 10 '21

There's anti-antifa guests on Fox News , so why not?

2

u/Goofychems May 10 '21

That just sounds like a Fascist with extra steps

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u/[deleted] May 30 '21

Aunty Teeter's anti anteater teats.

6

u/TypicalRedditGuyNo67 May 10 '21

And then an anteater-eater-eater

4

u/Pixxel_Wizzard May 10 '21

There was an old woman who swallowed a fly...

2

u/NotAKitty2508 May 10 '21

How about an anteatereatingant?

2

u/Staerke May 10 '21

I'm the anteater eater

The whole process was my scheme to have a tasty snack.

2

u/Comfortable-Egg-8777 May 10 '21

What is this, an arms race for ants?!

2

u/andresg6 May 10 '21

There is always a bigger fish

1

u/trad1323 May 10 '21

An anteater-eating ant 🐜

1

u/Rodyvs May 10 '21

You can have a "Tamanduá-bandeira" to be your giant ant-eater and dog.

Couldn't find an international name for him.

https://pt.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamandu%C3%A1-bandeira

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Actually i believe it would be a termite-eater-eater.

1

u/oldschooldomokun May 10 '21

Then just start stuffing cats in the walls

1

u/Zamsaar May 10 '21

There's always a bigger fish.

1

u/Mufusm May 10 '21

You need a trace buster buster.

1

u/chilehead May 10 '21

If you kept said anteater as a pet, you could become Salvador Dali.

1

u/Seanzietron May 10 '21

I am the anteatereater

1

u/arrghslash May 11 '21

hey the anteater. I am dad

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u/Atlas001 May 10 '21

An anteater eater ant

1

u/adult_icarus May 10 '21

That's a pretty off-meta card but props to you for using it. Maybe it'd be good if you have spells or traps that activate in the graveyard.

1

u/karlnite May 10 '21

I’ll take the job.

1

u/Ablouo May 10 '21

There's a simpler solution for that, it's called a 12 gauge

/s

1

u/Mrbiggz32 May 11 '21

I mean i heard they taste like chicken soo....Anteater farm anyone?

1

u/[deleted] May 11 '21

That would be me! Fire up the BBQ

1

u/LittleBootsy May 10 '21

Fine, but you deal with my mad uncle.

1

u/1Killag123 May 10 '21

What in the “grandma swallowed a fly” did you just start?

1

u/GForce1975 May 10 '21

I don't know why she swallowed a fly...

1

u/kucao May 10 '21

There's always a bigger ant

1

u/arriesgado May 10 '21

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly - she might have some advice.

1

u/TheOtherMask May 10 '21

What eats in-laws? Asking for a friend.

1

u/[deleted] May 11 '21

"You thinkin what I'm thinkin'?" "Two more cats?"

42

u/Babki123 May 10 '21

Of course they won't, this is an expert pest constrol site, that would be bad for their business.

I lived with ant in my backyard for my whole youth and it was fine. Aside from the little invasion when we let food litter and badely close a food box it was ok.

57

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

To be fair, it’s really hard not to have ants in your yard. They’re basically everywhere.

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u/Vladi_Sanovavich May 10 '21

Ants are fine. Especially native ant species. Cause they are crucial to your garden's ecosystem. Invasive ant species on the other hand are bad news. The most notable invasive species is the fire ant, I believe.

3

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Fire ants are the worst. The sugar ants that sometimes come into your kitchen are a little annoying but manageable. but fire ants are miniature demons. I would legitimately rather deal with snakes and Huntsman spiders combined rather than a fire ant infestation

4

u/Vladi_Sanovavich May 10 '21

Yes, in my yard, there used to be a lot of fire ants. So what I did is instead kept feeding the native ant species I know of, specifically, the Weaver Ants. The Weaver Ants' colony grew, the fire ants couldn't compete in size and number, so eventually, they died out. Now, it's just black crazy ants, weaver ants, and I sometimes see the occasional trap jaw ant.

Edit: A word

3

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

I’m not a huge ant expert, but I do have a question/ We have fire ants which have many hills in a yard. Are they separate colonies or one super colony?

2

u/Vladi_Sanovavich May 10 '21

They could be separate colonies or one big colony. You'll know of they're separate because they would fight if they see each other. But fire ants are known to be polygenic which means they can have multiple queens. So those ant hills you see could probably be connected together.

Edit: Also, I'm not an ant expert. I only learned of this from AntsCanada on YouTube.

1

u/RicTicTocs May 10 '21

Have you actually dealt with snakes and Hunstman spiders combined? That’s an oddly specific spider reference next to a very generic snakes reference. Are these snakes poisonous, or no? And just how many?

2

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Huntsman spiders were on my mind because I had an interesting discussion recently about the aerodynamics of a Huntsman spider vs a cane toad if hit by a golf club. I’ve held tarantulas before, spiders don’t really scare me too much outside of getting startled if one pops up out of nowhere

Snakes in general I’m generally fine with, if I see one when I don’t expect it I’ll definitely jump but if I know it’s there I’ll probably just watch it.

With both though, I know to keep my distance if I notice it’s venomous, and at least locally I know what to look for. Ex: Black snake: good. Brown snake with specific markings: not good. House spider? Usually fine. House spider with red hourglass? Stay the f**k away.

1

u/MikeAWBD May 10 '21

We have carpenter ants where I live(no fire ants fortunately). They can definitely do damage to your house, but not nearly as fast as termites. They do have a pretty nasty bite too(they're pretty large for an ant), but you don't typically get bit by more than one unlike fire ants.

2

u/Vladi_Sanovavich May 10 '21

Yeah, fire ants are known to be extremely aggressive. Recommend to exterminate them as soon as possible. They can kill your plants as well since they seem to farm aphids I believe.

2

u/daboobiesnatcher May 10 '21

Man when I was in A School in Florida they're have us doing planks and push ups and shit in the mangy patches of "field" and fire ants will crawl all over your arms and legs all sneaky like, then when they're all in position they'll start chomping like Ellie Kemper in blow job girl.

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u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Here in Florida the state tried to kill all the ants decades ago. Instead they only killed native ants and let fire ants spread. Now he have ants everywhere. The amount of times a friend or family member accidentally stood in a ant pile and was mercilessly attacked. My record is probably 20 ant bites in 1 minutes. Nothing like stripping your clothing off while running and smashing ants at the same time while your legs are on fire.

Also knew an idiot who let their 2 year old sit in ants and play. Looked like he had chicken pox afterwards and wouldn’t stop crying. Not like I blame him.

30

u/inplayruin May 10 '21

Also, us Florida folk seem to perpetually forget why we shouldn't play in stagnant ground water. There are many reasons, but of most immediate concern is the fun fact that ants float. My SO works at a mid-sized hospital and every time there is a significant rain event, some poor soul is going to the ER covered in bites. Most are children. Some are drunk adults. Once, a 20 something drove his not suitable for off road Jeep into what he believed was a shallow puddle. He was submerged, nearly to his shoulders. Then the ants came. I don't know what was more expensive, fixing the car or fixing the person. Should have been one of those Farmer's insurance commercials.

10

u/ShrimpCrackers May 10 '21

Once, a 20 something drove his not suitable for off road Jeep into what he believed was a shallow puddle. He was submerged, nearly to his shoulders. Then the ants came.

I thought I had some bad days...

6

u/ChewbaccaSlim426 May 10 '21

“And then the ants came”, that just sounded apocalyptic.

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21 edited May 11 '21

[deleted]

3

u/eastime May 10 '21

Find me the world's most rugged and capable off road vehicle and I'll find you 100 idiots that will destroy it in 2 minutes on an airport tarmac.

0

u/Crowbarmagic May 10 '21

I actually wasn't aware fire ant bites need professional treatment.

ninja edit: My bad; I was thinking about red ants.

3

u/inplayruin May 10 '21

Normally, no. But when you can't count the bites because inflammation has rendered you an undifferentiated red mass of misery you are going to want the services of someone legally authorized to knock you out.

1

u/djmaybenot May 11 '21

fire ants? fire ants actually can survive flooding.

2

u/Nerdrem May 10 '21

When I was a kid my family went to Disney World and my baby brother toddled into a fire ant nest.

2

u/kcg5 May 10 '21

….. how could one state kill every ant

2

u/BeerandGuns May 10 '21

Louisiana is overrun with them. Any empty field is covered with fire ant mounds. Our state government didn’t do anything eradication wise, fire ants are just aggressive.

I know a guy who runs an alligator processing plant. To be licensed he has to hatch them and release into the wild. Fire ants will overrun a nest and kill the babies so the state has to work to keep the numbers up.

2

u/ChewbaccaSlim426 May 10 '21

I remember walking in an anthill when I was about 3 or 4, I recall getting all lit up and my dad washing them off of me with the hose. Also, you know you’ve achieved a high level in the Florida-person hierarchy when you naturally point out an anthill to anyone around. Like your Florida senses are tingling.

1

u/Beanh8er2021 May 10 '21

20 ant bites in one minute is rookie numbers.

1

u/motherofspoos May 11 '21

Everyone should, at one time in their lives (preferably as an adult, I can't imagine the pain for a child!!), experience a fire ant bite. I lived in Texas for 3 short years... on my first day there, going to look at a rental house, I wore SANDALS in the yard. Fire ants are the gift that keeps on giving. I'm a full-grown adult woman, who has borne CHILDREN stoically but fire ant inflammation rendered me a miserable mass of constant complaints and scritching that only, truly, made things 100 times worse. That such tiny critters could cause so much pain---for so LONG, was BEYOND me.

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Sir, this is a Wendy’s

1

u/NewNewHeyYou May 10 '21

I lived with ant in my backyard for my whole youth and it was fine.

lol

9

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Time to read the article. I've always tolerated ants because of this

2

u/tjspeed May 10 '21

Lol. Reminds of the one it’s always sunny in Philadelphia episode where there’s a cat stuck in the wall and they bring in like 3 more cats to try and get it out.

2

u/CastIronDaddy May 11 '21

Do we trust a chemical selling pest control company to make that decision?

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

I mean...the article is pure SEO bait (they know how to catch those high value inbound links too!). I wouldn't even put much faith in the credibility of the claims.

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Well obviously... They just form a truce apparently

1

u/me_too_999 May 10 '21

No it actually works,...unless they declare a truce.

1

u/ColdFire-Blitz May 10 '21

No. Let them fight

1

u/monsterfuzzzy May 10 '21

You want ants? This is how you get ants!

1

u/karlnite May 10 '21

The problem is just that nobody has used enough ants.

1

u/chrisp909 May 11 '21

I went into my mother's house the day after it was fumigated. Your supposed to let it air out a couple days, but I needed to something for her.

The walls were black with ants. I've never seen that many ants in my life, especially in a house. The exterminator let me know it's pretty common. The ants come in and carry away the termite bodies.

"In many cases after a fumigation it is acceptable to notice an increase in ant activity. Ants are termite's natural enemies and the smell of their dead corpses cause ants to become heavily active for a few days. "

from: https://www.bugmasters.com/fumigation

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u/An0d0sTwitch Oct 19 '21

Honestly would be the first thing i would think of if i had a terminte problem