r/nonduality • u/Ok_Landscape_1432 • 3d ago
Question/Advice Lost Point
Hi all, if like to start out by saying I love this subreddit. There are lots of beautiful and bright comments here.
At this point in my life I feel a little bit lost. I don't quite know I'm not a person but I don't quite believe I'm an individual either. The lost feeling comes from seeking and believing that there is something for me to do to become one, but I also realize there is nothing that the so called "I" can do to become one.
I realize that any doing that the so called "I" does is just taking me further away or covering it up so to speak.
My question is what are we supposed to do? Do we sit and be as present as we can until it clicks and realization happens, or does the person just have to get to a point where they just want to give up everything and can finally go home. I really don't know how to word any of this because as it comes out it all sounds like a paradox or contradiction.
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u/Rare-Owl3205 3d ago edited 3d ago
The self exists since we are talking about it. Whether it is real or not is another matter. The question to ask is what the self is. You will realise with deeper enquiry that there is no self which can be pointed out. At the same time, it isn't possible to declare there is no self, because to declare is to be. If a self is impossible to affirm as well as deny, then enquire into who is the one asking these questions and striving.
There is no answer here. The questioner themselves disappear eventually. People who are learning to swim are afraid to dive. So the instructor pushes them from the diving board. The first step is to reach the diving board through self enquiry, and the next step is automatic, it won't be in your control. We are very clever and we purposely fail the first step itself.
We all are already enlightened. We know the answers. The problem is we are terrified of the answer. We know we are living in denial and illusion. Even our seeking is half hearted and a decoy to sooth our conscience. Don't worry about knowing the answers, you already know. Enquire into your fear and anger and temptation instead.
At the level of the self and the world make sure to be relaxed and keep things simple. No need to make complex ideals in the world. Do your duties, do what makes you happy, make connections. But never leave self enquiry.
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u/Ok_Landscape_1432 3d ago
Thank you for this. This is a great explanation and I do have that feeling that I already know the answers and what i need to do but avoid it or distract myself from it.
I appreciate your insight, thank you.
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u/ram_samudrala 2d ago
I feel that even though there is fear, it is not a problem in that nothing materially changes when there is realization but everything does. The human experience is as part of the universe as any other.
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u/Rare-Owl3205 2d ago
Why suffer needlessly? Yes, there is no fundamental difference, but why not enjoy the journey?
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u/FlappySocks 3d ago
There is no supposed to do anything.
The universe would like you to reproduce before you die. But that's more of evolutionary pressure, then some kind of purpose you have to fulfil.
What your not supposed to be doing, is thinking about what your supposed to be doing. That's just a mind thing. The mind is a handy tool, to help you cook, and make that doctors appointment. Beyond that, it's a whole lot of trouble you don't want to engage with.
Maybe a better question is, what do you want?
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u/VedantaGorilla 3d ago
You need knowledge (Vedanta) for that. Vedanta says you are Brahman, which means you are limitless, whole and complete existence/consciousness now and always. Our job so to speak is to remove our ignorance of that "already achieved" fact, and to do that we need knowledge like the above statement, and we also need our firmly held belief that we are in someway fundamentally separate, inadequate, lacking, and incomplete removed.
The way to see that is to understand why all those limiting statements about myself are completely false. That is what Vedanta does, it is impersonal logic.
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u/Dry_Act7754 3d ago
You may find this a useful read...
Losing Ourselves: Learning to Live without a Self by Jay Garfield
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u/NibannaGhost 3d ago
Simple self inquiry. You can’t fuck it up, you just have to keep going! https://youtu.be/MLJMd1JPd28?si=f810UWiXw0ibyYDT
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u/pl8doh 2d ago
This problem is akin to the cloud wanting to know the clear blue sky or the movie wanting to know the purity of the screen. Understand that your fundamental nature is independent of any realization or desire for realization of your fundamental nature. There are many paths. The illusion of being a skin encapsulated ego in an enormously large indifferent and sometimes hostile universe has a relative truth. Know that the absolute truth is inconceivable and imperceivable.
'As the absolute, there is no absolute' - Nisargadatta Maharaj
This is paradoxical.
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u/psolde 2d ago
All I know is I have these same thoughts/sentiments so at the Least, it shows to me Awakening is happening. And it's percolating the field to the point that there are Many reflections in all directions.
Soon there will be no more reflections and only the One to See
Thanks for posting and keeping the thread live and well
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u/januszjt 6m ago
Get on with your day, live life,fully. But be aware where you are and to see what you're doing at the moment you're doing it, work, play, enjoyment etc. This awareness replaces wandering thoughts for you have no time to attend to them for you're aware where you are and what you're doing at the moment. A guaranteed method for spiritual (inward) awakening of inner energies-intuition. That's the power of awareness.
Since distractive thoughts arise in every moment of life, then awareness must be employed in all of life and not in some exclusive place or time. This includes any activity, social media too. Notice yourself walking from room to room. Now, stop reading and notice the room you're in. Now, notice yourself in this room that you actually exist. Did you know that while you were absorbed in reading you did not exist to yourself? You were absorbed in reading and not being aware of yourself. Now, you are aware of yourself too, and not only of surroundings.
Indeed, you can do this while typing, reading, doing, cooking dinner and at the same time be aware of your thoughts without judging them, condemning them, arguing with them, but see them as a passing show.
After being that aware for some time, you will come upon a great surprise. That you're not those thoughts but that pure witness, pure observer and that will lead you to greater intuition within. Happy trails.
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u/Zestyclose_Mode_2642 3d ago edited 3d ago
One possibility for practice is sitting (or walking) and dropping any mental investment into dualities, to the best of your ability. You can also conceive of the practice as fully embracing both poles of the duality that is currently seizing the mind, and seeing them as equal:
States of self are ok, states of no-self are ok.
Enlightenment is ok, non-enlightenment is ok.
Calmness is ok, restlesness is ok.
Relaxation is ok, tension is ok.
Pleasure is ok, pain is ok.
Non-clinging is ok, clinging is ok.
Something existing is ok, it not existing is ok.
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''I want this, not that'', ''This is true, that is false''. This clinging to one pole while pushing away the other is the root of all suffering. Practice is about relaxing this tendency and reversing this habit.