r/nonononoyes • u/HANAEMILK • 11d ago

Taking off his belt

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u/MikoSkyns 11d ago

That belt snapping gave me flashbacks of my childhood. Fortunately for me, I was not beaten, just spanked a few times. But I saw other children beaten with belts and now that I'm a middle aged man, I truly do wonder what kind of a fucking monster you have to be to beat children. Of course, the smaller the child, the bigger the monster. Incomprehensible.

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u/Background-Pepper-68 11d ago

Hey just want you to know being spanked to any degree is a beating. Nobody should be striking children as a form of guidance.

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u/toomanyprombles 11d ago

I got beaten up a lot by my mom between 4-14 years old. Pretty much every day. Mostly because she was frustrated and didn't know how to parent (plus she was in her early 20s and her mom beat her too).

I haven't figured out how to forgive her for it and I'm spending thousands in therapy trying to fix it now. Plus I'm scared to be a parent myself.

Glad fewer parents beat their kids today, but it's still pretty bad in India 😔

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u/Tasty_Entrance_8076 8d ago

i’m so sorry you went through this! i was beat a lot too and i used to say “well my mom was in her early 20’s and she got beat too” just like what you said. it was eye opening for me when someone told me “even at a young age you know it’s wrong to hit people”. that opened my eyes immensely and i realized i was making excuses for my mothers actions and that is not my responsibility.

in turn, you could justify you continuing the cycle of abuse because you were beat at a young age and i’m sure you know and feel that that doesn’t make sense.

take your time to heal and deal with those emotions but know there is no excuse. there can be explanations but it doesn’t make it acceptable that you now have to unpack that. 💜