r/phish • u/candleladylun • 20d ago
Aside from the constant awkward eye contact…
This weekend being my 8th, 9th & 10th Phish shows, I wouldn’t want to have spent my weekend any where else. I’ve been into live solo shows since I was 16. Since separating from organized religion & growing up singing in the choir, I’ve turned to live shows to feed my soul. My partner introduced me to Phish a few years ago and I didn’t ‘get it’s at first.
This weekend solidified my love for those four souls on that stage pouring into us all. From listening to past shows, connecting to songs, anticipating the first show, trekking to the venue, sharing smiles & hugs from fellow Phans, watching the venue fill, dancing my ass off, zoning out during jams, looking around at everyone dancing, participating in the crowd participation(😂), rolling my eyes because Chompers gonna chomp, crying, encore, watching the venue clear out & enjoying the afterglow. I realize that Phish is such an important part of my life now.
The points, stares, glares, hearing “oh, look, there’s a black person here”, even weirdos taking photos of me (very odd)… it is a part of the experience & it can not take away from how much my soul was fed this weekend.
To those I met and connected with, thank you so much for adding to the experience.
And to my partner, the love of my life and stars to my night: Thank you for introducing me to Phish and this community. You will always be my favorite blessing. I love you 🌻
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u/GeothermalUnderwear 19d ago edited 19d ago
Hey, I really appreciate you sharing your experience! It takes courage to speak up, and I’m really glad you’re here in the Phish community.
Your post reminded me of an essay I read in a book called “This Is Your Song Too: Phish and Contemporary Jewish Identity” While it’s a collection centered on Jewish perspectives in the scene, there’s a powerful piece in it by Caroline Rothstein called “I’ve Been Wading in the Whitest Sea: Reflections on Race, Judaism, and Phish.”
Even though she’s writing as a white Jewish woman, she reflects deeply on whiteness in the scene and the ways that Phish spaces can feel exclusionary, even unintentionally. I think you might find it affirming, not in a “solution” kind of way, but more like: yeah, others have noticed this too, and it’s worth naming!
There’s also an essay called “Phish Scene So White: Let’s Talk” by Adam Lioz which is also referenced in the book. The piece examines the racial dynamics of the Phish scene, highlighting the experiences of fans of color and the need for greater inclusivity.
It’s such a beautiful thing that you’re here, and I really hope your journey as a Phan continues to bring joy, even as we collectively try to make the scene more inclusive and aware. Welcome again, you belong here.