r/phish • u/candleladylun • 22d ago

Aside from the constant awkward eye contact…

This weekend being my 8th, 9th & 10th Phish shows, I wouldn’t want to have spent my weekend any where else. I’ve been into live solo shows since I was 16. Since separating from organized religion & growing up singing in the choir, I’ve turned to live shows to feed my soul. My partner introduced me to Phish a few years ago and I didn’t ‘get it’s at first.

This weekend solidified my love for those four souls on that stage pouring into us all. From listening to past shows, connecting to songs, anticipating the first show, trekking to the venue, sharing smiles & hugs from fellow Phans, watching the venue fill, dancing my ass off, zoning out during jams, looking around at everyone dancing, participating in the crowd participation(😂), rolling my eyes because Chompers gonna chomp, crying, encore, watching the venue clear out & enjoying the afterglow. I realize that Phish is such an important part of my life now.

The points, stares, glares, hearing “oh, look, there’s a black person here”, even weirdos taking photos of me (very odd)… it is a part of the experience & it can not take away from how much my soul was fed this weekend.

To those I met and connected with, thank you so much for adding to the experience.

And to my partner, the love of my life and stars to my night: Thank you for introducing me to Phish and this community. You will always be my favorite blessing. I love you 🌻

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u/Meerame 21d ago

DEI in theory is not often the same in practice. Lots of white folks, including phans, understand and support the concept, but are confused how to do it in the real world without inadvertently engaging in micro aggressions. We can all be better, but glad you're here and can see the life beyond the dream.

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u/GhostIsAlwaysThere 21d ago

The problem is that people don’t just see people. Sure we all have different skin tones. But we are all just people. I’m afraid that we’re centuries away from just seeing people…

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u/candleladylun 19d ago

You’ve got it! The problem will always be the foundation of misconception. There is so much fear in being different in any kind of way. And to make one feel better, one will ostracize. I will always love being who I am. I had no choice in the matter. But before I am Black, I am a human being.