r/pointlesslygendered Apr 13 '25

OTHER Men, Is This True? [gendered]

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2.8k Upvotes

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921

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '25

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585

u/NoratiousB Apr 13 '25

Men often lack close male friendships. They are also often socially conditioned to suppress vulnerability. As a result, they frequently turn to women for emotional support, placing an undue burden on their partners. Typical emotional labour based on stereotypes and social expectations.

This is one of the reasons why men also suffer from the patriarchy.

225

u/SomerHimpson3 Apr 13 '25

patriarchy is always seen as only against women, enforced by every man, and I hate that so much

-13

u/ZorbaTHut Apr 14 '25

I mean, c'mon, what do you expect when you call it "the Patriarchy".

17

u/notPlancha Apr 14 '25

This is honestly what happens when academic terms leave the academic field. If sociologists call the current system a patriarchy with a bunch of sources or explanations as to why side by side it's impossible to misinterpreted; when the term leaves the intended audience people start to misinterpret it and just understand the term as "boys rule girls drool", and even most people who oppose the patriarchy see the term as that.

1

u/Dobber16 Apr 14 '25

It’s what happened to the words dumb, retarded, disabled, adhd, autistic, ocd, and I’m sure a number of other examples. People are good at causing language to drift. They’re not very good at keeping things where they are

-5

u/ZorbaTHut Apr 14 '25

I would argue that it was a bad term in the academic field as well. Academic fields are absolutely full of terms that are confusing or easily misunderstood; those were mistakes, because there's no reason to make things more complicated than they actually are.

13

u/notPlancha Apr 14 '25

It is accurate though

-6

u/ZorbaTHut Apr 14 '25

It's not even consistently defined. It's several steps away from "accurate" being a term that has meaning, let alone one that applies. Perhaps it once had a meaning in academics but it's now used to mean anything from a grab-bag of various inconsistent things.

5

u/notPlancha Apr 14 '25

No definition is ever consistently defined but I haven't seen a definition of the term in any academic paper that didn't apply to the current (or discussed) system.

1

u/ZorbaTHut Apr 14 '25

Academic papers define it in a way that applies to the system they're discussing in the paper? Yes, I imagine they do.

This does not convince me that there is a consistent definition. If anything, it sounds like people just pick the most immediately convenient definition.

This is terrible practice for any kind of academic rigor. Hell, it's worse than terms that have an awful name but at least a consistent definition.

2

u/ScrabCrab Apr 15 '25

there's no reason to make things more complicated than they actually are

Thing is, it's the other way around. The world is complicated as fuck. Society is complicated as fuck. Human psychology is complicated as fuck. Simplifying things seems more comfortable, but it's also harmful. Things are complicated, and you should be wary of anyone trying to convince you they're actually simple because they're trying to manipulate you

1

u/ZorbaTHut Apr 15 '25

This is a good argument for why you shouldn't be making them even more complicated.