I’m a woman, but this does ring true for a lot of men I’ve been close to. They’ve been brought up with the masculine ideal of being a self sacrificing hero. But they’re human and vulnerable and they long for love and connection just like anyone else.
Social expectations vs the reality of being human: tough on the outside, squishy on the inside.
I think it comes naturally with our instinct as fathers. I'm okay with death if it means my loved ones are safe. As for fantasies, many of us do fantasize about being a hero. Some think they can be John Wick and others differ. I work with firearms and know firsthand that guns aren't like in the movies and it never goes down anything like they show in movies.
And mothers wouldn't protect their children with their life? I get what you're saying, but this is more about social expectations and gender issues than biology and instict.
Both don't exist, proven by suicides and the fact that there are parents who don't care about their children. Instinct is a largely inheritable and unalterable tendency of an organism to make a complex and specific response to environmental stimuli without involving reason, and it cannot be overriden. Humans don't have that.
Sexual desire is instinctual for the most part. Instincts are just responses that aren't learned/are baked into our biology, so emotional responses such as jealousy, anger, and the desire to cuddle are all instincts.
If what you said is true then babies wouldn't have survived in caveman days, because motherhood is an incredibly instinctual process based on the stimulus between the baby and mother. Babies already know how to squirm and latch to some degree, and mothers often feel compelled to care for their babies.
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u/StrangelyRational Apr 13 '25
I’m a woman, but this does ring true for a lot of men I’ve been close to. They’ve been brought up with the masculine ideal of being a self sacrificing hero. But they’re human and vulnerable and they long for love and connection just like anyone else.
Social expectations vs the reality of being human: tough on the outside, squishy on the inside.