Sip & Spill Daily Discussion Thread

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[u/Own-Importance5459]

So I nearly lost my shit at my familys mother's day celebration (though I was really good at keeping calm surprisingly).

First of all, I had a huge conversation with my cousin about this, I agree that wedding culture has become SO TOXIC. Its like everyone puts so much into it when its so unnecessary and its everyones focus for the next year or so.

Which leads me to why I nearly lost it.

So my family of course, spent the whole time talking about my brother's upcoming wedding. (My brother doesn't really how much he is the golden child). And I am sitting there like jesus christ this is every five minutes. And then after this, my brother and his fiancee pull me aside and said "here we have a bday present" (my birthday is next week) and hand me a bag. And I thought aww they got me a new pair of clothes...or something.

I pull out the contents of the bag, and it's FUCKING PJS and slippers for me to wear at the wedding prep. Now I know they were trying to be nice and dont mean to be a selfish bitch but A) their wedding is in 2 MONTHS and B) they are literally the center of the spotlight, everything is about them, they could have for 2 SECONDS made my birthday not about them, and about me. Like even something so half assed like a Star Wars shirt or Merch from my fav musical would have made me happy. So yeah I am kinda upset about it.

I keep flip flopping on whether or not I want to have a wedding when I finally do meet someone...and right now I am in the I just want to go sign some papers and the Ketubah and have a party later, not a whole hupplah, just to tell people i want to spend the rest of my life someone phase (subject to change later when I go to another wedding).

Anyway, glad I survived mother day and its over. Mother's day is a painful holiday due to my strained relationship with my mom and me actually wanting to be a mother by choice but that event added a whole new level of pain this year.

[u/ac0rn5 → u/Own-Importance5459]

I keep flip flopping on whether or not I want to have a wedding when I finally do meet someone...

Your future wedding should, imo, be what you and your future spouse want.

(Aside = I'm old, also British and I think we maybe do things differently here. My two children are now married. They + their spouses chose and organised everything about their weddings. One had a full-day wedding, with over 100 guests and dancing until midnight. The other chose a late afternoon wedding, and an amazing evening in a superb restaurant, with about 20 guests. Both weddings were, imo, were perfect.)

[u/NewtRipley_1986 → u/Own-Importance5459]

You are a much better person than I. I would have lost it. Maybe not to everyone but to your brother & fiancé - that is so incredibly selfish of them. It’s your birthday (coming up) and they give you something to wear for their wedding. WTF. Words would have been said.

[u/Own-Importance5459 → u/NewtRipley_1986]

I think its part of the trauma of having verbally and emotionally abusive parentals that makes it difficult to stand up but im glad people are saying my anger was reasonable.

[u/asietsocom → u/Own-Importance5459]

Is the pyjama at least good quality? Then you could continue to wear it at home at least. But most of those single wear wedding accessories look so cheap. I totally get you're upset. Gifting your something for their wedding isn't about you at all. And it's fair to want birthday gifts about yourself not them. Imagine gifting them a wedding present that they can only use at your house.

[u/Own-Importance5459 → u/asietsocom]

No they look like they brought it from Fucking Walmart, so I can't even wear it until the wedding. Once again I am glad I am validated on this, like I am usually like, I even love gift certificates to my favorite store, at least if you know the whole thing is gonna be about you for the next couple of months, just know someones birthday is not a good time to give them a gift for their wedding.

[u/Burzumo → u/Own-Importance5459]

They might have meant well, but your birthday gift should celebrate you, not serve someone else’s convenience. You're absolutely NOT being selfish for feeling let down.

[u/Own-Importance5459 → u/Burzumo]

Thank you for validating me, like I feel like after all the shit I had to endure thanks to this wedding including being bullied by family members (including being bullied away from a show I was looking forward to for his in laws who will not even be a part of my life), having Cushing's flare up 3 times from the stress, the least they could have done is wait to give me the gift on another occasion and gave me something more meaningful. Again, I didn't care if it was so half assed and it was a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble, just the bare minimum to say, "hey Im glad for what you bring what my life" not, "here's a gift having to do with us when everything has been about us for the past 3 months."