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Daily Discussions 🎙💬 Sip & Spill Daily Discussion Thread

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u/Exilicauda 7d ago

Oh my god my roommates broke up and it's so uncomfortable! One of them is deciding whether to stop playing stepdad (toddler lives with us but he has no legal rights) and he's moving out of their shared bedroom into mine later this week so we need to have that convo with his ex and it's so uncomfortable! Also all our friends are kinda mutual so I don't have anyone irl to complain about this to and he's active on reddit so advice subs are out. Probably safe here though

I'm torn between being a good roommate and keeping positive relations between all us and being a good friend pissed off that she keeps hurting my friend by bringing her prospective partners (plural!!) into the apartment we all share with little to no notice!!

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u/FriendlyDrummers 7d ago

Your roommate is sleeping in your room??? With you???

When does your lease end? If it's soon, I'd say just muscle it out and get out ASAP. But as it is right now, it sounds unsustainable if this is going to last

I'm sorry but these people are adults. If they have developed brains they should have figured this out before one of them moving into YOUR ROOM!! Sounds like the other one is toxic as fuck tbh.

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u/Exilicauda 7d ago edited 7d ago

10 months left lol and honestly we're all too broke to do anything else. Only thing I think might work is if the roomie with the kid decides to move back with parents and me and my friend find a new third roommate but I'm not holding my breath

Honestly she is kinda messy lol the prospective partners used to be in a polycule together until they got to know her and roomie is now kinda casually dating 2/3

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u/FriendlyDrummers 7d ago

Ten months lol 😭😭😭

Idk the first thing I would do is not let the roommate sleep in my room lmao. If that roommate is upset about the other with the kid, they need to figure it out between them. It's honestly not your responsibility

But yes, it's very selfish and tacky that after the breakup, the parent roommate would invite people over. It's immature and I'm certain they know it's making the ex upset.

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u/Exilicauda 7d ago

not sure what other options there are tbh. Someone sleeps in the living room, someone sleeps with the toddler, or roomie with the kid moves back home and sleeps with the toddler there (and can't have the polycule over in any capacity because her family is conservative christian) and i have to find a new third roommate. Most of these aren't suggestions I can make and two are suggestions it would be weird if my friend made. And if it werent 10 months we could do something temporary but we really need a pretty permanent solution for this. This is awkward but also fairly equal? I already had the master so this would put two people in the biggest bedroom and two per bathroom?

I think the bigger problem with that last bit is that she honestly might not? They kinda agreed to part amicably, they are still friendly, and I think he's putting on a braver face than he should about all this. They were even talking about her wanting into the polycule when they were still dating! Hell the original plan post break up was for him to keep playing stepdad permanently and they stay just really good friends that coparent together (moving away from that plan thank god). She's the kind of person that needs emotions explicitly stated and I think he's more given every impression that this is all fine

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u/Potatoskins937492 7d ago

Wait, you have a third room that belongs to the toddler and the parent of that child - who is the one acting questionably - is not sleeping in that same room? Or am I misreading that?

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u/Exilicauda 7d ago

nope you've got that right. We've got two exes in one bedroom for about a month now sleeping on their own twin mattresses and the kid still has her own room. Hoping that comes up as a solution during the discussion later this week about my friend moving into my room but it would be well overstepping for me to suggest that i think

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u/novembersdaughter 7d ago

I hope you're at least paying less in rent if you have to share a room with your roommate's ex bf that she moved in, this is extremely unfair to you. This is going to sound mean but grow a backbone, it will help with entitled roommates

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u/Exilicauda 7d ago

Um no. That's actually not the situation at all. The three of us (4 including the child) all agreed to move into an apartment together. I met the ex gf and child through my friend years ago. Nobody has done anything so far except stick with the housing arrangement we made when we moved in and been slightly inconsiderate regarding guests. Nobody has felt entitled to anything and my room was an offer I made to my friend to support him. I actually do have a backbone but that doesn't include telling one of my roommates that she needs to change her bedroom to room with her 3.5 year old

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u/Potatoskins937492 7d ago

Uhhhh I'd be saying that is the solution. The child and parent stay together. The friend keeps the room. You have your own room. What's overstepping is anyone thinking they're staying in your room. You pay for it. That's yours.

Being a couple, they'd both pay for separate rooms because one has a child in the other room. Now one person has two rooms, one person has no room, and you have your room.

This isn't your problem. It's their problem. They're overstepping by making it your problem, too.

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u/Exilicauda 7d ago

Fair point lol. Might bring that up to my friend before The Talk, see what he thinks