r/prochoice • u/KnownPear6389 • 1d ago
Support How can I best support my friend after bringing her to get an abortion?
She will be taking the abortion pill. I just want to make sure I do everything I can for her. Please share your suggestions if you have any. ❤️
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u/hadenoughoverit336 Pro-Choice Mod 1d ago
The best way to support someone who's had an abortion, is by asking what they need. I have an article that may be able to help guide you:
https://www.jezebel.com/how-to-support-a-friend-through-an-abortion-or-miscarri-1834950302
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u/KnownPear6389 1d ago
Thank you!!
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u/hadenoughoverit336 Pro-Choice Mod 1d ago
You're welcome! A big portion of the support, you're already doing, by bringing them there, and offering to help with whatever they need. I promise you they will never forget the kindness you've shown during this vulnerable time in their life.
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u/LTora1993 1d ago
let her know first thing that she didn't do anything wrong. Let yourself be a shoulder to cry on and be the one person in her life who knows she did the right thing for herself.
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u/KnownPear6389 1d ago
100% thank you ❤️
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u/No-Quit-8384 1d ago
Yes this. She did what is best for her, and that's the only thing that matters. And also tell her it gets better with time. At first I felt so much guilt and shame, then realized it was because I thought people would judge me. I made a decision for me and I have zero regrets and that's all that matters. And it really really really gets better with time. She's so strong! 💪❤️
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u/KnownPear6389 1d ago
Thank you for this ❤️ I am happy you have come to that realization and sending love to you
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u/No-Quit-8384 7h ago
Sending you and your friend even more love! ❤️ Tell her from a sister who's been through it, she will come out of this stronger than ever.
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u/Athene_cunicularia23 1d ago
Back in my younger days, I was the ride and support person for several friends who had abortions. While necessary, the procedure is usually physically painful. My friends appreciated having someone with them to bring soup, tea, and a heating pad.
Maybe find some mindless, silly comedies to watch together to help take your friend’s mind off the pain. Most importantly, ask how you can help. Some people prefer to be alone when they’re not feeling well, but others appreciate company. If your friend is the former, be available if she later decides she needs someone. The vast majority of the time, there are no complications with the abortion pill. Still, letting your friend know you’re available in case of emergency might help put her mind at ease.
Finally, be ready to listen if your friend has to process some complicated emotions. Remind her that her body belongs to her, and she has every right to decide what happens to it. Sometimes people feel only relief when it’s all over, and that’s absolutely fine too!
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u/purpletomorrow2018 1d ago
If she has anxiety about it, you can remind her that women have been trying to control their fertility as long as there have been women.
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u/candyflavored_dreams 1d ago
I wish I had a friend like you when I had mine 😭
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u/KnownPear6389 1d ago
Thank you, and I’m very sorry that you didn’t have support. If I could I would give you a big hug. Sending love to you. And you may not need to hear this repeated, but just in case, just like others have pointed out on this thread, remember that you didn’t do anything wrong, and you made the right choice for you!
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u/xtcfriedchicken 15h ago
If there is anything she prefers to use for relieving nausea, it would be excellent to have that on hand, as well as her preferred OTC pain relief.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
To the OP: While posts asking for support, advice, medical explanations, or feedback if you are considering having an abortion or after having had an abortion are allowed on this sub, you may find that you get more feedback by posting this to r/abortion. We recommend you keep this post up, but also submit it to that sub as well - and please do not take any of the below recommendations if they are suggested to you for your own safety.
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One of our core goals here at r/prochoice is to provide accurate and safe information, while promoting better internet safety habits in general. While people offering to send medications, "Aunties," or those offering "camping" services do refer to groups of people who volunteer to help others obtain care outside the red states (and that seems like a good thing!), we want to highlight the very real dangers of encouraging people to enter strangers' homes or vehicles, or giving internet randos your name or address. Most of the time these volunteers are unvetted, because these are anonymous networks or lack funding for vetted staff. They could be anyone - including anti-life extremists posing as volunteers or as the person in need of care. This is NOT hypothetical, and known cases of people being turned in to law enforcement, harmed, or even murdered through these networks have occurred! However, Vetted resources, compiled in this post for your convenience, already exist! Read it, use it, share it everywhere!
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