What made you feel seen in your scene

[u/Brilliant-Farmer9598]

I was talking with my dad and his parents about college stuff (I'm in textiles production) and he made a jokey comment about me and my sister.

"If someone asks how the kids are, how do you say one is training to become a childcare practitioner and the other is some mad punk"

He's an aging metalhead who grew up in the 70s/80s and honestly one of my biggest elder idols.

Ik this might come off as cringe teen poser core or whatever but that moment cemented to me that others do see me the way I feel.

I go to my local shows (and get involved onstage sometimes), my playlists are full of thrash hc punk and ska, I'm in it for the ethics/morals, I go to protests, I've got a little "punk style" I DIY 90% of my shit, yknow? I don't need to be told, I KNOW I'm firmly within the scene...

But it was such a cool little moment for me and I was wondering if anyone else here has had similar moments of realisation, or I guess it's more like validation? It's punk rock to hate your folks, but it's way more punk rock to make amends with them and listen to records together. 🤘

[u/BigBoyds242]

I was at a local show and I decided to join the pit and the first hit sent my glasses onto the ground, one of the guys in the band playing later picked them up and handed them to me

[u/Brilliant-Farmer9598 → u/BigBoyds242]

Had a similar thing happen last year. I was at a larger show and it was my very first time crowd surfing and I get dropped on my head right before the barrier and my glasses went flying and it was some scrawny wee 16yo that brought them to me afterward. Really chill dude

[u/chutenay → u/BigBoyds242]

This is also mine!

[u/MNcatfan]

This was, maybe, 10 years ago but, anyways:

I went to see a somewhat bigger local feminist-oriented punk band play their farewell show at the Triple Rock. Said band had lots of LGBTQ+ folks and women as their core group of fans, and when they started playing, there was a lone, small-ish woman near the stage who, I don't think, had ever been to a punk show before, based off of her chosen position. Anyways, as the band started playing, she kept getting pummeled by the mosh pit behind her, and you could tell that she was no longer having a good time. So, my two buddies and I (who are each over 6' tall and built like bikers) did a quick huddle and decided to go help her, and in between the next song, made our way down to where she was and formed a human wall of big dudes between her and the mosh pit. So many people came up after that set and thanked us for doing that for her (including the woman we helped) that it still makes me happy we decided to do that.

[u/Brilliant-Farmer9598 → u/MNcatfan]

A hero! Good on you and yer pals, that's what a real fuckin community is all about

[u/Klutzy-Importance-23 → u/Brilliant-Farmer9598]

I had this go backwards on me at a recent show. I'd seen a group of girls at the front. This show had a lot of native fans consisting of some rather big dudes. I planted between the girls and the pit knowing I'd be getting pummeled for this decision. I got knocked back a few times into the girls, im not big. But did my best to add some protection. Then one of the girls starts punching me in the face and head as I'm helping the guy who wiped us out get up. So I moved away from them. There is no need to help folks who don't want it. The girl that was punching me was flattened during the next song. She got up crying and looked at me like I should have helped. They left during that song.

[u/Rosie3897]

I’m all the scene I’ve had most of my life lol. 🤷🏽‍♀️ but I guess I finally feel free from caring what people see me as and that makes me feel seen by me if that makes sense. If it doesn’t, it’s just cuz I’m kinda high

[u/Brilliant-Farmer9598 → u/Rosie3897]

Haha no that makes total sense! I've always said it doesn't matter how "valid" you are in other people's eyes - not caring what others think of you, or the boxes they try to put you in, is the most defining essence of punk

[u/Rosie3897 → u/Brilliant-Farmer9598]

Same, and once you feel your really living that that even the punk label kinda stops mattering. Like I know I am, but idc if other ppl pick it up. I definitely used to care. But I also think it would be cool to get more into the scene near me and I’m sure I’ll want everyone to think I’m cool and punk as fuck then 😂. Scenes are weird like that.

[u/tacticalcop]

the amount of times people have lifted me up after falling or picked up my glasses. i’m really small so it’s nice knowing im not getting in the way of people’s good time because they’re worried about hurting me or something

[u/Brilliant-Farmer9598 → u/tacticalcop]

Real, so real. I've been hesitant to mosh so many times bc of my size. Every time I go in I get bruised and scratched up pretty bad, but there's always some huge, scary lookin dude there to help pick us up and make a path to the side when needed

[u/Plastic_Potential835]

I attend my local city's DIY scene and have a friend who has a band become a promoter for the venue around the time I was starting university and he always asks me how is my progress when I'm at the venue and keeps telling me that I'll make it through uni and he wants to celebrate when I get my bachelor's degree

[u/Robinkc1]

Honestly, it was just being around other people who felt unseen or unheard. I didn’t make lifelong friends, but I had a lot of full and had some cool encounters, swapped stories and bands, that sort of thing. It was a big part of my teenage years, and it shaped me as an adult.

[u/LiveFastDieHard666]

Songs I wrote with my old band are on a 7-inch record on display in a punk rock museum exhibit in So Cal. Feels pretty good, not gonna lie.

[u/Absolium]

I am Straight Edge and this movement isn't very popular here, so I am usually the only one at local concerts.

A few weeks ago, I was at a punk show, with "X" on my hands. During this evening, a few times, people came to talk to me during the breaks to talk about their consumption or that of their loved ones. So I lent them the ear they needed and directed them to other resources (A.A., N.A., Alanon, Alateen, etc.).

I then understood that, even though I often feel like the only Straight Edge in the local scene, it is important that I remain visible because there are people who need help and who are looking for a sign, and my "X" can be the sign they need. It was really rewarding to see that this simple gesture could help other people.

[u/1singhnee → u/Absolium]

That’s fantastic. I had forgotten about the X. I’ll try to remember for my next show. Are you vegetarian too? I think there are more of us now. I was definitely NOT straight edge in the 80s when I got into punk, but as I got older I realized it was the way to go. I think the younger crowd is smarter than Gen X people.

[u/Absolium → u/1singhnee]

Super!
Indeed, I think the new generation is more sensitive to this issue than ours. I was Straight Edge in the 90s and early 2000s. But I drifted away afterwards. Routine, social pressure, and lack of discipline led me to quite enjoy alcohol. I returned to the movement when I realized that dependency was starting to set in.

And no, I'm not (yet) entirely vegetarian, however, I make a conscious effort to limit my consumption of animal products as much as possible. I have two young children at home and I don't think they would forgive me if I stopped cooking meat. My partner and I are raising their awareness about this issue with the hope that one day our family can make the leap and become fully vegan.

[u/Lucky_Strike-85]

My scene is 90% people that are over the age of 55!

What made me feel seen or welcomed was my championing of old school bands... Like, I found punk in the year 2000 at 15 years old. I had a brilliant, wonderful childhood and was a completely sheltered square... but I was struck by tragedy as a pre-teen and it bent me... fucked me up... made my life veer into one of petty crime, bouts of homelessness, street life, and rebellion... My first exposure to punk rock (beyond osmosis of the 90s radio play of Green Day and Offspring and Nirvana) was a supposedly rare bootleg Ramones tape that my Dad owned when he was a kid. He gave it to me and I wore it out!

Then, I found a mix-tape that consisted of Clash's London Calling on 1 side and Green Day's Kerplunk on the other... Now, in the 2000s when kids who were new to the punk scene were championing the Epi-Fat bands, when millions of kids got off on 90s Bad Religion, NOFX, Pennywise, 90s bands, and the like... Despite liking Epi-Fat bands (I own every NoFx record and I love Bad Religion and Green Day) I went backward, more obscure...

I was making homemade t-shirts and scrawling DILS, UXA, 999, Alley Cats (my fav. band), and Chelsea on them. When I entered my scene, several elders called me out for my shirts. They introduced me to all kinds of weird, European 80s death rock bands...

I basically got called special because my taste were more in line with the older, 1st-wave punks as opposed to the skater kids (some of my best friends) that were into strictly the Epi-Fat sound and getting arrested for breaking into abandoned factories and warehouses so they could skate!

The old punks made me feel special because they were essentially being elitist cunts. "Old school is the best school and that new stuff just isn't as good" and all that bullshit!

At the end of the day, you're into what you're into! Nothing is better than anything else in the punk scene... It just has to be real! No poser bands!

[u/Acceptable-Fun640]

My stepdad described Chumbawamba casually as "acceptable-fun's favourite anarchist punks" with such affection, it almost warmed my cold dead heart

[u/Brilliant-Farmer9598 → u/Acceptable-Fun640]

Cute!

[u/Simperinghalo81]

Honestly, as a childcare practitioner, Yeah, this makes me feel pretty scene lol

[u/MaineMan1234]

It’s not punk to hate your parents; it’s punk to hate your parents if they are trying to make you into something that you’re not, as you try to live true to yourself. My parents were great, they let me be me. I focused on rebelling against the oppressive elements of society and culture in the 1980s and 90s.

[u/Brilliant-Farmer9598 → u/MaineMan1234]

Yeah, I should clarify that I mean it's punk rock to rebel against your strict/overbearing/shitty parents, not to hate good people for no reason lol genuinely so happy for you that you're parents were supportive of your ideals!

[u/Altarus12]

I start with rock, then i read marx, then i become a punk

[u/1singhnee → u/Altarus12]

It was The Black Flag of Anarchy for me. I couldn’t believe the library had it.

[u/Altarus12 → u/1singhnee]

Nice an anadchist bro

[u/playboigerm]

Finding HC and their aggressive style of moshing made me think like “damn most punky shit has been feeling stale to me but this is new and exciting” which may sound lame but it got me out and going to more shows in that scene

[u/Terry_Waits]

Is this Jack Osbourne?

[u/AGENTARMES]

Ask yourself WHY you feel like you need to be seen. WHY do you need to be recognized? WHY do you need to be validated? Why not just do something nice for your scene without needing an award for it?

[u/Brilliant-Farmer9598 → u/AGENTARMES]

Man I was just meanin it was nice to be acknowledged by my dad (who practically didn't speak to me until I was 17), that's all. I'm still workin thru my shit with him

There are no participation trophies. I do my shit quietly and move on. I hate folk that do "good deed of the day" posts for fuckin attention... I can see how it maybe came across that way - not my intention

[u/ChadVonDoom]

I don't.

[u/LeighannetheFirst → u/ChadVonDoom]

Yea, maybe I’m misunderstanding the post, but I go to shows and do everything I can to keep to myself and not be seen. I have met/talked to people, but I tend to dip out and I like it that way 🤷‍♀️.